I came across this post on facebook and I quite agree with the OP to some extent.

"Let's talk about Nigerian Banks!!!
( Just for fun!!!)

(1) U.B.A

That bank looks like a shrine..Everywhere is just painted red.. Hehehehehee this bank is very stingy... They will never employ workers... Its only in UBA you will enter and see empty cashier (think OP meant TELLERS) seats... They only employ 1 Cashier stressing customers as if they will feed you after. I suspect there General manager is a Manchester United fan. They spent a lot of money to build a bank but employed few slow workers who can't even satisfy customers (Pogba).

(2) First Bank

This bank has the highest number of customers...The only
bank that looks like a market......The only difference is that
you see people with suits and pens.

(3) Eco bank!!!

Hian this bank will just be looking like somebody's
bathroom.. Very small bank... Just jam park people like
sardines......Their workers no dey even wear suit again
probably because of heat... Everybody they enter the bank
with hand fans ..

(4) Diamond Bank....

This bank dey vex me pass our politicians. Just fancy for nothing.....They will just use flowers to design everywhere.... I even heard their General manager is an Agriculturist.... Only to employ beautiful ladies... Some people will come to bank and won't like to go back again because of the beautiful compound..

(5) I hate Zenith bank...

The only thing dem know how to do best is to decorate their
walls with mirrors.You will just stay at the front and be
seeing someone behind you...Sometimes if you enter the
bank, you will be confused . you won't even know which
road to follow because everybody is appearing two two for the mirror... I wonder if their general manager is a Crystal palace fan.. Just carry crystal full everywhere.

(6) Union Bank!!!!

This bank is older than some people's grandfather...
Sometimes, I begin to think maybe the children of Israelites
have accounts with Union bank... Their security men sef na
old old men...old old men bank... Even baba has an account
with union bank...."


Proceeding from there and adding to these:

3. Let's Revisit Eco-Bank:

This bank gave me the toughest moment of my life during my NYSC in Delta State. It is in Eco-Bank that different branches charge different fees for a Bunch of Withdrawal Booklet (who says it's to be sold anyway?). One sold for NGN350.85 and the other sold for NGN550.00, and you DARE NOT argue with the customer service. You know what it is like when you're expecting your first ALAWI some weeks after camp and you're deadly broke. Then, suddenly after CDS at your LGA (far away from your PPA) you got an alert of NGM2,000.00 from a good friend. You quickly rush to a nearby branch for withdrawal and they're like: "you must get a withdrawal booklet for NGN350.85 first and minimum balance is NGN1,000.00. My guy, you got to negotiate this. You ignored them and went to a branch in your PPA, hoping for free withdrawal slips like most other banks do, but then you hear something like: "you have to obtain a withdrawal booklet for NGN550.00" Boy-o-boy! What will you do? That was my escapade with this bank that made me hate them so much.

But I think the most annoying thing about this bank is their VERY SLOW way of attending to customers. One bad branch I visited that period purposely dedicated just one TELLER to be attending to customers so that they could learn to use the ATM. But I noticed that over 90% of customers on the queue were elderly people and market women, we the younger ones were such unlucky coz NYSC assigned us to them.
So when you wanna visit this bank, make sure you go with your phone, and ensure you have Internet sub so you could catch some fun on Nairaland while you stay in the queue for more than 3hrs.

Op you funny sha

UBA own na true, red red every where thank God they added white to it.

I hate banks

GMBuhari:
I hate banks

Lol

You must LOVE spending your money...

6. Talking About UNION BANK:

I am pretty sure that this bank resents modern techniques and technologies. They give no f**k what the latest trends in the banking sector are. They just remained stereotyped with the old practices...and that's why The Old Mamas and Daddies love them.
. The bank is old
. Workers are old people
. Customers are old people
. I wonder why they are not still using the Old Naira Notes.