Dear Naijerians,
You fiful are bely wukied, why are you fiful fraying that I should die kuo? Ayam not even dead yet, and all of you fiful are jubilating, then ip I die now, you fiful will just turn za whole kwuontry to carnival kwo?. I was at za foint of death when I heard that za whole kwuontry is jubilating that I am dead, I said "ah ah" I will not die now so that you fiful will not be hafi.
I even heard that afostle Suleman said that Christians should kee my cows and my herdsmen, you fiful should tell that afostle that ip anything hafens to my cows, I will pinish him o.
Fersin Fikin yo wa, I see ya fost I talking say if I come Nijeria I go leave nijeria to Ozoro kwo? I dey calling me gwost kwo?
Por those of you saying that ayam not pighting kwaraption because I cleared Buratai, Dambazau, Amaechi, Kyari, Magu and Babachir of kwaraption like a clearing agent, I want to tell you something, they say "show me your prends and I will tell you who you are" so ip I declare all my forlitical prends kwarapt, won't you fiful say I ayam kwarapt too? Or do you fiful think ayam not wise? I have told you fiful bepor, my farty, za All Frogressive Confidence, Afee cee, is a farty por saints, kwarapt fiful cannot be pound in my farty or guberment.
I want to seize zis ofortunity to call on za National Assembly that ayam not coming back on za 6th op Pebuary again because of some unporseen circumstances, they should allow His Seselency, Za Pice Fresident op za pedral lipublik of Naijeria, Frofesuar Yemi Osibande to kwuotinue to act as za fresident fending when ayam back.
Yoowaa to za pew fiful who still believe in my guberment, Isha Allah change will begin with you bepor it gets to me.
Lest I porget, Tupace is flanning to stage a frotest against my guberment, all I can say to him is dambruba waka shege to him and za pive girls he infregnated.
Signed:
Dr. Muhammadu Buhari, GCFR

Bug brother buhari, we sabi how it they happen