The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, or Pastafarianism, is the religious following of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, commonly abbreviated as FSM. According to Pastafarianism, FSM is a benevolent supernatural entity who created the world some 4000 years ago while very drunk, although the world is intentionally built to make humans think it's older than it really is.


Flying Spaghetti Monster is invisible and undetectable omnipotent Creator. The typical guise in which He appears before His followers is that of a floating clump of tangled spaghetti with two meatballs and eyes, which is assumed to be His true form as FSM is against obscurity and confusion.

Creation
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Flying Spaghetti Monster created the entire universe and all its contents in just four days, after drinking heavily. The following three days, He rested. The first person created was a midget, whom Flying Spaghetti Monster granted a beautiful wench, and from which all of humanity sprang forth. Of special note are pirates, who are considered holy in Pastafarianism, helping combat global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters.
Long ago, His Noodliness decided, in his great wisdom, to make stuff. His first task was easily the most difficult. On the first day, he made a mountain, trees and a "midgit" (sic). The midgit (sic) took the greatest time, as He had to create a small human, having never even created a human before. At the end of that day, it was so, at which point, He spent the next 3 days making everything else, including the first 3-day weekend, the Shroud of Napkin, and fake carbon atoms to fool scientists and geologists. He then rested on the 5th, 6th and 7th days.

He initially created cave men with the intention of making a race that could be looked down upon by humans, but upon offending Him greatly, they were destroyed. He then created the dinosaurs as a companion to man. However, too many pirate ships sank due to the dinosaurs' great size, so they too were destroyed. The same happened with the giant sloth and the woolly mammoth. The dodo actually passed the test, but this was the result of a clerical error and was corrected when humans invaded the dodos' abode on an island.

Worship
Pastafarians believe in Heaven, an afterlife which contains beer volcanoes and a stripper factory. Their morals are guided by the eight Condiments, although two were lost and never recovered, which many see as a sign that Flying Spaghetti Monster won't mind if you skim some of the rules. The traditional garb of Pastafarianism is full pirate regalia, which Pastafarians are required to wear at all times. They observe Ramendan, Pastover, and a vaguely defined holiday named "Holiday". Midgets hold a special position in Pastafarian faith, as the first person created was a "midget", and they carry extra amounts of the original divine spark. Pirates are revered as the ultimate goal of creation which every Pastafarian holds as a shining example. The mere existence of Pirates helps prevent natural disasters and global warming.
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Prayer
There have been many standard prayers chanted for the rejoicing and blessing of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, but here we only include those which were passed on to the human population by the prophet Ragu, who claimed to have been touched by His Noodly Appendage. Each of these prayers end in "R'Amen" (pronounced "rah men", as dictated to us by the Flying Spaghetti Monster himself. Within the Ninjian heretical offshoot sects of Monsterism, the term "Al Dente" (pronounced "al dent eh", a common term used to describe perfection, is used instead of R'Amen.

The Noodles Prayer is the most common prayer, as dictated by the prophet Ragu:

Our saucer which art in a colander, draining be Your noodles. Thy noodle come, Thy meatballness be done on earth, as it is meaty in heaven. Give us this day our daily sauce, and forgive us our lack of piracy, as we pirate and smuggle against those who lack piracy with us. And lead us not into vegetarianism, but deliver us from non-red meat sauce. For thine is the colander, the noodle, and the sauce, forever and ever. R'Amen.

The Hail Meatsauce prayer is usually recited in retribution for consumption of any sauce other then red meat sauce. Some sects (see the Reformed Church of Alfredo ) do not use this prayer, as they claim "Alfredo is the path to enlightenment". This prayer is typically repeated numerous times while running your fingers along a Rotini noodle.

Hail meatsauce, full of beef. The Spaghetti Monster is with you. Blessed are you among sauces, and blessed is the spice from your shaker. Heated meatsauce, monster of taste, pray for us non-pirates now and at the hour of our hunger. R'Amen A vegetarian sect of FSMism in India is reportedly using a particular soybean extract in place of meatballs. "Soy Mio - it is still a spicy meatball! Tandori R'Amen!" Glory To The Pasta Glory be to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and to the Midgit, and to the Pirates. As it was in the beginning, is now (With a mountain), and ever shall be(and trees), world without end (and with Pirates). R'Amen.

culled from http://flyingspaghettimonster.wikia.com/wiki/Pastafarianism

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