Sister if you know what is good for you, stay back there. The Nigeria of today is on auto reverse gear, worse than the way it was when you left.
I think you shouldn't get home sick all too soon, talk to (practically beg) your mind and body to feel comfy at the States. Let's hope Naija would be great again, perhaps when your kids are all grown, you could bring them down here for their secondary and university education.

No comment from anyone?
Una just dey read, una no wan talk?

Sighs madam, it's good u want to come back to Nigeria. But I would have advise, don't think of staying permanently, cos u will get frustrated. Nigeria is not what it used to be. The hardship is real.
Why not shuttle to and from? Come over, stay like 3months ,by then u will understand what's really going on here. and also the lifestyle too. Then if u like the way things are been operated here? Then tell your husband, u ain't going back to the states. Both of you will come to an agreement to either divorce, so you can both live fulfilling lives with different partners in your different locations.
But inbetween what kind of job will u have here, if u decide to relocate And do both of u have kids?

You guys should sit down and have a serious talk about the future of your family. Since I wouldn't suggest anyone to be miserable at the expense of the other, I suggest you guys go visit Nigeria together, and if you both still feel the same way..... DIVORCE and each follow your dreams.

olrotimi:
Sister if you know what is good for you, stay back there

Hahahahahahahh you harsh o

She should come and stay for like 3months, then she can decide finally if she's staying back for good. If not? Her mind and heart will always be here, thinking life is good in nija. It's not as if life is bad here o.
But there is a new meaning of living in Nigeria. Which is good for her to witness live, instead of stories we all may tell her.
Don't worry op, just come for some months that's all. It won't hurt anyone, except your husband but hey lets give the heart and mind what it needs first, then the other things shall follow.

alexialin:





Hahahahahahahh you harsh o

She should come and stay for like 3months, then she can decide finally if she's staying back for good. If not? Her mind and heart will always be here, thinking life is good in nija. It's not as if life is bad here o.
But there is a new meaning of living in Nigeria. Which is good for her to witness live, instead of stories we all may tell her.
Don't worry op, just come for some months that's all. It won't hurt anyone, except your husband but hey left give the heart and mind what it needs first, then the other things shall follow.

My brother let's call a spade by its proper name. Except she doesn't visit Nairaland FP to see sad and depressing stories of what has befallen us.
She prolly also doesn't keep abreast of Nigerian issues or watch our news outlets or she would know that suicide and crime like kidnapping (especially for returnees) is on the daily rise.
Biko let her stay put but she can regularly send the dollars to her family so it grows our economy.

you feel trap?

that's little bit confusing, were you force to remain indoors all days, is there anything you were being deprived of that makes you trapped?

nigeria is good but not like it used to, dont loose your marriage because of "i'm going back to my root", stay there make the most of environment you are, and if you long to come here(nigeria) , then let it be short.

Titi03:
When I was a child, my parents took me and left Nigeria to start a brand new life in the States. As an only child it was such a painful and lonely experience for me to leave all my extended family and friends behind.

Years later, after graduating from the University, I planned to relocate for NYSC but my boyfriend (now husband) proposed and my plans took a back sit with all wedding preparations. Mind you, my husband is also Nigerian. Anyway, we got married and things have been great.. we both have great careers and doing very well financially.

The problem is my husband wants to remain here. He refuses to return back as he suffered in Nigeria before coming to the States.  He tells me Nigeria is not what I think it is and he doesn't see any prospects for his career in Nigeria. But I can't seem to shake off the strong desire to return back home. I have longed for this since I was brought here by my parents. I feel trapped in the States against my wish - first by my parents and now my husband. I refused to integrate into the system because I always thought I wouldn't be here forever. Aside from my husband I live a lonely life.

Should I relocate without my husband? I have strong ties with family back home. Please any advise or comment will be appreciated.

It's not hard it's between this two choices

1. Ditch the boyfriend (no not husband yet) because as long as you are not married he's your boyfriend and come to Nigeria

2. Stay behind with boyfriend


The choice is up to you, also when you are coming back to Nigeria in other to cope, expect the worst because you will compare everything to US and be frustrated. We are used to this frustration but you've tasted a better life

olrotimi:

My brother let's call a spade by its proper name. Except she doesn't visit Nairaland FP to see sad and depressing stories of what has befallen us.
She prolly also doesn't keep abreast of Nigerian issues or watch our news outlets or she would know that suicide and crime like kidnapping (especially for returnees) is on the daily rise.
Biko let her stay put but she can regularly send the dollars to her family so it grows our economy.

Hahahahahahahh
Do u think sending of dollars is her problem?
Her mind and soul is bugging her to come and if I know women very well like I know myself, cos am lady. If we don't ,at least do what our mind is pushing us to do, we won't feel at peace. We would always feel we've missed out somewhere.
So let her come. Some people who cannot withstand the hardships are committing suicide. The future and even the present is bleak. Almost everyone is just moving in a circle waiting for something miraculous to happen. No joy here at all.. Except the little joys will receive in our various shaky career ..apart from that, it's tough as hell.
Make she come Oresle she won't rest.

olrotimi:

My brother let's call a spade by its proper name. Except she doesn't visit Nairaland FP to see sad and depressing stories of what has befallen us.
She prolly also doesn't keep abreast of Nigerian issues or watch our news outlets or she would know that suicide and crime like kidnapping (especially for returnees) is on the daily rise.
Biko let her stay put but she can regularly send the dollars to her family so it grows our economy.

Sadly all what you would write are flimsy excuses from someone who doesn't really understand how it feels to be home sick, or someone who want to be around her own kind. Thinking that the west is better than Nigeria in every ways possible, is your 1st mistake on the issue.

Many dream of their return on African soil.

Titi03:
When I was a child, my parents took me and left Nigeria to start a brand new life in the States. As an only child it was such a painful and lonely experience for me to leave all my extended family and friends behind.

Years later, after graduating from the University, I planned to relocate for NYSC but my boyfriend (now husband) proposed and my plans took a back sit with all wedding preparations. Mind you, my husband is also Nigerian. Anyway, we got married and things have been great.. we both have great careers and doing very well financially.

The problem is my husband wants to remain here. He refuses to return back as he suffered in Nigeria before coming to the States.  He tells me Nigeria is not what I think it is and he doesn't see any prospects for his career in Nigeria. But I can't seem to shake off the strong desire to return back home. I have longed for this since I was brought here by my parents. I feel trapped in the States against my wish - first by my parents and now my husband. I refused to integrate into the system because I always thought I wouldn't be here forever. Aside from my husband I live a lonely life.

Should I relocate without my husband? I have strong ties with family back home. Please any advise or comment will be appreciated.

please stay there with your loving husband o? Absence they say makes the heart grow fonder, your being over there and comfortable could be one reason you think you have strong ties at home. That tie may not subsist for long after your return home. Please for the love of God, stay back and only visit when you can and must.

If you plan to visit and just spend 2-3 months, then it's okay. But if it is to stay...please don't try it. Listen to your husband and stay back. Nigeria is a failed and unfixable country.

alexialin:



Hahahahahahahh
Do u think sending of dollars is her problem?
Her mind and soul is bugging her to come and if I know women very well like I know myself, cos am lady. If we don't ,at least do what our mind is pushing us to do, we won't feel at peace. We would always feel we've missed out somewhere.
So let her come. Some people who cannot withstand the hardships are committing suicide. The future and even the present is bleak. Almost everyone is just moving in a circle waiting for something miraculous to happen. No joy here at all.. Except the little joys will receive in our various shaky career ..apart from that, it's tough as hell.
Make she come Oresle she won't rest.

Ngwanu sister Titi come home ooo. We're in this together, suffering shared is suffering half solved.
But wait ooo, you sef @alexialin dey talk of " little joys in shaky career"? No lemme vex ooo, you wey stand well well

My dear think long and hard before you make a decision...
I don't know how it feels to be homesick but nigeria is not a place to come to right now..if I may ask what's your field?
Would you have a job waiting here?
Starting a bizness in Nigeria is hard!
Have you thought of security?electricity?bad roads?
Anyways I suggest u come for a short visit and evaluate things for yourself...wish you the best of luck...

But your (you and your husband) choice of accommodation should have been or should be a joint decision now.

It's something you have to settle between yourselves ooo....

Don't go and break your home for nothing.

olrotimi:

Ngwanu sister Titi come home ooo. We're in this together, suffering shared is suffering half solved.
But wait ooo, you sef @alexialin dey talk of " little joys in shaky career"? No lemme vex ooo, you wey stand well well

I know I stand well but I need to consider others wey no stand as well too nah.. Lemme not just focus on myself. I think of others too. and I feel sad when my friends complain about their biz and career. That's y

alexialin:



I know I stand well but I need to consider others wey no stand as well too nah.. Lemme not just focus on myself. I think of others too. and I feel sad when my friends complain about their biz and career. That's y

You're a good person.

Titi03:
When I was a child, my parents took me and left Nigeria to start a brand new life in the States. As an only child it was such a painful and lonely experience for me to leave all my extended family and friends behind.

Years later, after graduating from the University, I planned to relocate for NYSC but my boyfriend (now husband) proposed and my plans took a back sit with all wedding preparations. Mind you, my husband is also Nigerian. Anyway, we got married and things have been great.. we both have great careers and doing very well financially.

The problem is my husband wants to remain here. He refuses to return back as he suffered in Nigeria before coming to the States.  He tells me Nigeria is not what I think it is and he doesn't see any prospects for his career in Nigeria. But I can't seem to shake off the strong desire to return back home. I have longed for this since I was brought here by my parents. I feel trapped in the States against my wish - first by my parents and now my husband. I refused to integrate into the system because I always thought I wouldn't be here forever. Aside from my husband I live a lonely life.

Should I relocate without my husband? I have strong ties with family back home. Please any advise or comment will be appreciated.

I would be eager to return to Nigeria too if I was in your shoes, please kindly ignore the group of lazy folks who prefer to make fast money via yahoo yahoo and ponzi schemes, they are the ones who will talk bad about Nigeria if their bet fails or if they get scammed (mmm) they will keep complaining.

I will say you are missing a lot by not being close to home, back here you will feel like a member of the society

The issue is your spouse doesn't want to come back and so I advice you just to come and spend a few months then go back to U.S because of him

If you want to enjoy Nigeria very well, choose a sub urban environment, you will enjoy it.

Good luck

Haaa! OYO is your case! They say the head destined to chop knock will do so no matter what, even if it is hidden in a cooler it will ask to be uncovered for fresh air! Come to Nigeria Ke? Haaaa, you will hear weeeen! Those friends and extended family you think you are coming to meet will turn out to be your closest strangers and the economy will teach you common sense! Chai! I just pity you!

iyke926:
If you plan to visit and just spend 2-3 months, then it's okay. But if it is to stay...please don't try it. Listen to your husband and stay back. Nigeria is a failed and unfixable country.

Nobody who wants to move to Nigeria should come with a half mind on the issue, thinking that they should tryout 3 months 1st. They MUST fully commit to such move to give it any chance of success. If down the line, they fail then they can just go back to where they came from.

Pidgin2:



I would be eager to return to Nigeria too if I was in your shoes, please kindly ignore the group of lazy folks who prefer to make fast money via yahoo yahoo and ponzi schemes, they are the ones who will talk bad about Nigeria if their bet fails or if they get scammed (mmm) they will keep complaining.

I will say you are missing a lot by not being close to home, back here you will feel like a member of the society

The issue is your spouse doesn't want to come back and so I advice you just to come and spend a few months then go back to U.S because of him

If you want to enjoy Nigeria very well, choose a sub urban environment, you will enjoy it.

Good luck

Why u come dey give the babe false hope nau? Make she land make warri boys first make am disappear for a few days peren...she go learn her lesson.

Abroad is not for everyone, so is Nigeria not for everyone. I won't advise you move back immediately. Take some time off and come and spend time here. Maybe 1-3 months. Don't just move like that.

sisisioge:


Why u come dey give the babe false hope nau? Make she land make warri boys first make am disappear for a few days peren...she go learn her lesson.

Warri? Nawao, is this not a single local government in Delta state, did she tell you that she is relocating to Warri of all places?

Out of 36 States and over 700 local governments in Nigeria, your mind can only view Warri abi? Well done, if you like make you remain for your village dey give foreigners wrong impression about Nigeria, I only pity the people that will listen to you.

sisisioge:
Haaa! OYO is your case! They say the head destined to chop knock will do so no matter what, even if it is hidden in a cooler it will ask to be uncovered for fresh air! Come to Nigeria Ke? Haaaa, you will hear weeeen! Those friends and extended family you think you are coming to meet will turn out to be your closest strangers and the economy will teach you common sense! Chai! I just pity you!

Home sick !! Home sick !! Home sick! !


Home sickness is a disease that cannot be cured by the best medical teams


but if you haven't lived abroad it would be difficult for you to understand how it feels
.

sisisioge:


Why u come dey give the babe false hope nau? Make she land make warri boys first make am disappear for a few days peren...she go learn her lesson.

This post is misleading


did she in anyway mention she is visiting warri


are you creating the impression that "warri boys" are stationed at the airports to torment returnees
.

Pidgin2:


Warri? Nawao, is this not a single local government in Delta state, did she tell you that she is relocating to Warri of all places?

Out of 36 States and over 700 local governments in Nigeria, your mind can only view Warri abi? Well done, if you like make you remain for your village dey give foreigners wrong impression about Nigeria, I only pity the people that will listen to you.

I can see you were highly offended by my post.
The warri boys there doesn't really mean the guys from warri, its a term for adultnappers here where I live(chai, that will even offend you more) Anyways, its all right. Anyone can go to anywhere he or she likes...its really not my business.

Oh, I totally forgot you are likely from warri...the home of the pigin folks. Duhhhh....what was I thinking

Archaa:


Home sick !! Home sick !! Home sick! !


Home sickness is a disease that cannot be cured by the best medical teams


but if you haven't lived abroad it would be difficult for you to understand how it feels
.

Dude...I haven't been abroad. I've no idea how to be home sick. I therefore wish the sick a speedy recovery and all her sympathizers kudos. Well done.

All right, on a more sensitive note..maybe she should consider visitation, not outright relocation. Either way, no be say it really concern me. Shalom.

Archaa:


This post is misleading


did she in anyway mention she is visiting warri


are you creating the impression that "warri boys" are stationed at the airports to torment returnees
.

In my area "Warri boys" is the term adopted for Adultnappers whether they are Fulani, Yoruba , Igbo o...all of them na Warri boys. No vex...no be me name them.

By the way, I'm the last person to be tribalist here o...Fejiroghene is my very good paddy from Warri.

olrotimi:

You're a good person.

thanx and you too.

@op from a Nigerian proverb your familiar with, and it goes thus " what an old/advance man is seeing, if a young boy/girl climbs the longest palm tree, they cannot see it".

It will be difficult for you to stay there but convince your mind and body, because there is nothing here o.

Even the extended family you think is or trying to make you come back permanently, will live you when they can't benefit from you again. You can visit but coming to stay, don't think about it. There are many sadist here in Nigeria.. I stand with your husband!!

iyke926:
If you plan to visit and just spend 2-3 months, then it's okay. But if it is to stay...please don't try it. Listen to your husband and stay back. Nigeria is a failed and unfixable country.

There are countless of successful and happier Nigerian returnees, its just so sad that as soon as someone mention going back home, Nigerians will deter you from doing so. Quite sad!
If your dream is to move abroad then so be it,but don't try to discourage people from doing exactly what you are doing (aka try to get a better life for yourself)

If I'd tell you that here is hell and you best stay in Nigeria, would you believe me and drop your dreams? No, so why try to kill a person's dream?

Just for the fact that Nigeria is home, its in Africa and populated by your kind, is a good enough reason to go back home. To each their own!