Has anyone ever had to do this?
What was your reason(s)?
I ask because I'm at a verge of breaking up my friendship with a person I've had as one of my closest friends for 10 years (off and on). We were best friends in highschool, lost contact after highschool and reconnected about 5 years ago.
On the 30th of last month (lol 2 days ago), I decided to severe some relationships that may not be very useful to me.
This friend of mine, and I, only have our nightlives in common. But I realize that I tend to gravitate towards this friend whenever I need to get away from my busy, more-serious life (school, work etc).
I am a strong believer in institutional education. I understand that you cannot learn anything fro school and I know that some would argue, that all you get from school is some paper that doesnt mean anything in the real life. What I say, is that institutional education teaches you how to think, and challenges you to go even further, by provoking yourself to know. Institutional education in my opinion, not only teaches you ways of knowing, but makes you question why you think you know the things you know.

At 28 years old, this friend of mine, is yet to finish highschool. But I love her, almost to death. Which is why everytime she makes unintelligent comments, it saddens me. Everytime she lies to potential partners that she is a student or a professional of some sort, it saddens me. Everytime I see her accept things from men, that I know she would not if she had enough pride in herself, it disheartens me. I have talked to her numerous times, almost on a daily basis, about returning to school. She claims she will, but intends to save money first. In the country I live in, you do not need to save money before you attend post secondary education (that is what loans are for). Her mother works in a restaurant as a waitress. My honorable friend, has just gotten a job alongside her mother at thesame restaurant. She intends to save money, but is working minimum wage.

We have a big group of friends, but I am the closest to her. As it stands now, I am most likely, her closest friend. I do not want to leave her, however, it makes me sad to see her waste a lifetime in this country when people in Africa would die to switch places with her. I feel like she is sitting on a gem.
Our group of friends only gets involved with her whenever we go out to parties and such. To be honest, there isnt much else to do with her. One of us has totally stopped contacting her. He claimed that he isnt able to stand her anymore.
Truth is, I love her. We do go wayyy back, so it is difficult for me to let her be. But its also difficult to see her waste herself and grow apart from me like she is doing.

As we get older, I find that she loses her opinionated self. She says things to me, that I want to hear and she ends up sounding like she is sucking up to me.

Another fear of mine is that she praises me. I love this, but because I know that she is praising me, I tend to aspire for less around her. She does not care if I do well in school or not. To her, the fact that I am in school, is enough.
Last night, we were talking about new year resolutions. I told her that among other things, mine was to let go of redundant friendships that are not useful for me, to which she immediately said "yeah, like me" and laughed. I laughed, in utter sadness

When I have conversations with her, I realize that she sounds like the teenager/ preteen I met years ago when we first met. Coincidentally, when I lost contact with her inhghschool, that is when she quit school.

P.S

She intends to get married and she desperately wants to get married very soon. This woman is no doubt, one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. Its such a sad situation because this gets her alot of attention from men, but once they realize that she isnt able to maintain an intelligent conversation, most of them tend to flee, leaving her the ones who do not care for her much and are verbally and emotionally abusive.
Last night, I was with her for the new years and one of these men who introduced her to his friends as his "mistress", (he has a girlfriend and she knows, likewse, she is sexing other people, and he knows) was so rude to me that I left them in anger. She has been calling and texting me since and I'm at a point where I want to say that it is over.

Do I just let it be? Not say that it is over; instead, just quit accepting her calls?
Has anyone else been through this?
What motivated your decision and how exactly, did you deal with it?


Am sorry for the long read but it was necessary, to give you all a detailed background info on the situation

Whats ur gendr?

Whats ur gendr?

Odunnu:

Whats your gendr?

Why do you ask?

If u dnt feel up2 answering then, dnt ans.I'm out.Sorry 4askin

Hard for me to accept your apology when I feel like it wasnt necessary
I feel like I offended you with my question but, I couldnt understand why my gender mattered (and you're obviously not interested in telling me why).
Too bad you're out but, come back when you're willing to respond to the questions in the thread, will ya?


Am waiting for your reasonable responses, people!!!

I'll be back with my reply.

iice:

Yes, i've done it a few times. Though not in the same circumstance. It's a mental thing mostly for me. The hardest part is the transition from having the thought to making the decision.

My sister has those kind of relationships like the one you have. Only that she (sister) seem to be impenetrable, none of their nonsense has influenced her. If someone knew her, they'd never believe she has friends that are totally so not like her. But then, she's always had a mind of her own and done things her way. So even though it saddens her heart that some of her friends are like that, she just gives them her mind and carry on. Though as time goes, her closebess to them has lessened, she still goes and saves them when they get into trouble. She's just that way. I don't know why she still keeps them as friends. . .but i suppose it's coz she feels she can help them in some way, even it is in small ways.

Oh, thats what scares me; that things may never change.

@ poster

Is at 28 she hasn't finished highschool, I doubt she'll ever.

But just one question. I don't understand why her education is so important if you have said it's nothing but a useless sheet of paper. Perhaps what she lacks is common sense, which is not thought in school.

michelin89:

I don't understand why her education is so important if you have said it's nothing but a useless sheet of paper. Perhaps what she lacks is common sense, which is not thought in school.

when did i say this?