pls i need your pieces of advise, especially from experienced persons and if possible with examples, thanks. this is my problem:i am having a double mind about the lady i want to marry, she is not ugly but not too beautiful or at least not as beautiful as i desired, her character is okay by me but she cannot speak FLUENTLY, she speaks hardly for ten minutes without making one or two mistakes, the bad thing about it is that if you ask her to correct herself, she cannot, because it wasn't a slip of tongue, it was as a result of her incapacitation or incompetency. now my spirit accepts her but my EGO(pride) doesn't accept her and i am seriously confused. pls your ADVISE

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trem321:
pls i need your pieces of advise, especially from experienced persons and if possible with examples, thanks. this is my problem:i am having a double mind about the lady i want to marry, she is not ugly but not too beautiful or at least not as beautiful as i desired, her character is okay by me but she cannot speak fluently, she speaks hardly for ten minutes without making one or two mistakes, the bad thing about it is that if you ask her to correct herself, she cannot, because it wasn't a slip of tongue, it was as a result of her incapacitation or incompetency. now my spirit accepts her but my ego(pride) doesn't accept her and i am seriously confused. pls your ADVISE

Pls do you really love her from the depth of your heart?. Pls be sincere to yourself.

U can transform her. Enrol her in any education learning center.
Make her who u want her to b.

Build one another up

Guy continue with your marriage arrangement and don't look back....

She has lovely qualities that the girls That speak fluently doesn't have...... If you truly love her, there should be no excuses.

Remember there is none totally complete.

Dont forget to invite me for the wedding..

sekundosekundo:


Pls do you really love her from the depth of your heart?. Pls be sincere to yourself.

that is the problem, i can't even say whether i love her because if i see some other person, it will be as if that is the person i love and in that order, all i know is that we are compatible. my greatest problem now is that i have told her, the family and the church about my intention to marry her, right now we are in courtship and if i withdraw, it will break her heart because of all the things i have made her to go through, and i can not see the exact lady i have in mind, pls somebody help wt your advise, solid one pls

gsmphoneseller:
Guy continue with your marriage arrangement and don't look back....

She lovely qualities that the girls That speak fluently doesn't have......

Dont forget to invite me.

your statements are not clear to me, edit it pls, thanks for showing care and concern, pls more contributions

trem321:
that is the problem, i can't even say whether i love her because if i see some other person, it will be as if that is the person i love and in that order, all i know is that we are compatible. my greatest problem now is that i have told her, the family and the church about my intention to marry her, right now we are in courtship and if i withdraw, it will break her heart because of all the things i have made her to go through, and i can not see the exact lady i have in mind, pls somebody help wt your advise, solid one pls

Your mind is not completely settled with her, this can only happen when one has the spirit of lust. This spirit will make you to love almost every girl you see. I think you are the problem here not the lady. It seems something attracted you to her in the first place may be material things, isn't it?.

pbethel:
U can transform her. Enrol her in any education learning center.
Make her who u want her to b.

Build one another up

What if he don't have the resources?.

sekundosekundo:


Your mind is not completely settled with her, this can only happen when one has the spirit of lust. This spirit will make you to love almost every girl you see. I think you are the problem here not the lady. It seems something attracted you to her in the first place may be material things, isn't it?.

yes, you are very correct in the first aspect, any fair lady attracts me but not to immorality though cos i fear our creator, so once i see this fair one, i wl say she is good etc but for her, what attracted me to her is that she is humble, not material things at all, they are not rich, she has good behavior but she cannot speak fluently, i am just imagining how i wl feel if she speaks blunder in front of my friends etc, she is even in final year in a college of education, that is what pains me more, if she were to be just a school leaver, it wl be understandable but to be a graduate and yet incompetent is very annoying, pls more solid and reas advise needed

pbethel:
U can transform her. Enrol her in any education learning center.
Make her who u want her to b.

Build one another up

she is in her final year

trem321:
yes, you are very correct in the first aspect, any fair lady attracts me but not to immorality though cos i fear our creator, so once i see this fair one, i wl say she is good etc but for her, what attracted me to her is that she is humble, not material things at all, they are not rich, she has good behavior but she cannot speak fluently, i am just imagining how i wl feel if she speaks blunder in front of my friends etc, she is even in final year in a college of education, that is what pains me more, if she were to be just a school leaver, it wl be understandable but to be a graduate and yet incompetent is very annoying, pls more solid and reas advise needed

You have found a wife, pls go ahead with your plans. With time, you'll enjoy her. I am speaking from experience.

trem321:
yes, you are very correct in the first aspect, any fair lady attracts me but not to immorality though cos i fear our creator, so once i see this fair one, i wl say she is good etc but for her, what attracted me to her is that she is humble, not material things at all, they are not rich, she has good behavior but she cannot speak fluently, i am just imagining how i wl feel if she speaks blunder in front of my friends etc, she is even in final year in a college of education, that is what pains me more, if she were to be just a school leaver, it wl be understandable but to be a graduate and yet incompetent is very annoying, pls more solid and reas advise needed

Your use of English is not very sound too so what are you saying? ...World people and oversabi!

sekundosekundo:



You have found a wife, pls go ahead with your plans. With time, you'll enjoy her. I am speaking from experience.

hmmmm, really? deep down in my spirit i have that calmness but the problem is my ability to be proud of her, that her poor command of grammar hurts me a lot, do you think i wl not feel embittered tomorrow?

trem321:
she is in her final year

Teach her English if you know you speak fluently.

KAI, this thread helped me: www.nairaland.com/2775519 but your contributions are still needed to cement my decisions

AnaCheks:
Teach her English if you know you speak fluently.

my dear, that is what i am doing now but sometimes i ask myself some discouraging questions like can't i just find someone else to marry etc and since then i have also never seen someone that is compatible wt me, yes that is the dilema i found myself into,

Mr English language, I'm not sure what you want us to tell you . So you no see all of the things wey you mention when you first say hello to her abi? You have now gone this far and you now remember that she is not up to your spec ba . Ok o, i beg leave her and let the person wey she dey compatible with locate her. Since you not fit manage her like that or brush her up to your spec by helping her improve in areas which she lacks. One more thing beauty is in the eyes of the beholder . Abi you want talk say you handsome? E be like say you no know wetin marriage be as external beauty fades away but internal beauty remains as long as the person is alive. It seems your lady has internal beauty and you should cherish that . But if you can’t overlook all these things you’ve mentioned then free her and free yourself cos if you marry her, anything she does will irritate you, you grab.

trem321:
pls i need your pieces of advise, especially from experienced persons and if possible with examples, thanks. this is my problem:i am having a double mind about the lady i want to marry, she is not ugly but not too beautiful or at least not as beautiful as i desired, her character is okay by me but she cannot speak fluently, she speaks hardly for ten minutes without making one or two mistakes, the bad thing about it is that if you ask her to correct herself, she cannot, because it wasn't a slip of tongue, it was as a result of her incapacitation or incompetency. now my spirit accepts her but my ego(pride) doesn't accept her and i am seriously confused. pls your ADVISE

You want a complete package ..dey r Rare in this earthly world.

There r men who got opposite of what you have but dey r praying looking for a lady with her character.

If she is not ur type...Cut off...look for your type , they r many everywhere.

Let me ask u a question..Just common ENGLISH issue..U want to dumb a lady with good character ?

MAY GOD GIVE U A WELL SPOKEN & BEAUTIFUL LADY ,hope u wont come here to complain about other tins again like nairaland help me my wife is WELL SPOKEN & BEAUTIFUL LADY SHE got body odor , pussy is wide...her past life is giving me sleepless night..she doesnt know how to cook..she still visit her ex bf...her family want to milk me dry ...and so on.

Few men made similar mistakes as urs But end up REGRETTING.

Never marry out of pity

poshestmina:
Your use of English is not very sound too so what are you saying? ...World people and oversabi!

i am not offended oo, but pls just point out the blunder, so i can take correction. thanks, meanwhile, more contributions pls, i am already feeling a surge of attraction for her courtesy of your posts

trem321:
pls i need your pieces of advise, especially from experienced persons and if possible with examples, thanks. this is my problem:i am having a double mind about the lady i want to marry, she is not ugly but not too beautiful or at least not as beautiful as i desired, her character is okay by me but she cannot speak fluently, she speaks hardly for ten minutes without making one or two mistakes, the bad thing about it is that if you ask her to correct herself, she cannot, because it wasn't a slip of tongue, it was as a result of her incapacitation or incompetency. now my spirit accepts her but my ego(pride) doesn't accept her and i am seriously confused. pls your ADVISE

guy forget that enlish,grammar is not the most important thing in marriage oooo. who English don help for marriage.u can help brush her English, stop thinking abt wat ur friends would say if she makes blunder. if u truly love her go ahead and marry her ok. what u should be thinking about is if i marry this lady will I ve peace in my marriage not grammar. go for her character not her English. u self u just dey worry for nothing.

trem321:
i am not offended oo, but pls just point out the blunder, so i can take correction. thanks, meanwhile, more contributions pls, i am already feeling a surge of attraction for her courtesy of your posts

I think you two are a good match! Remember how you mentioned that when your babe was asked to correct herself she couldn't? Well...you see how you two are a good match now? Biko, marry that babe and leave English language alone. God will gift you Children that would be at par with Queen Elizabeth

sisisioge:




I think you two are a good match! Remember how you mentioned that when your babe is asked to correct herself she couldn't? Well...you see how you two are a good match now? Biko, marry that babe and leave English language alone. God will gift you Children that would be at par with Queen Elizabeth

LOL

Atakata:

guy forget that enlish,grammar is not the most important thing in marriage oooo. who English don help for marriage.u can help brush her English, stop thinking abt wat ur friends would say if she makes blunder. if u truly love her go ahead and marry her ok. what u should be thinking about is if i marry this lady will I ve peace in my marriage not grammar. go for her character not her English. u self u just dey worry for nothing.

THANKS BRO, exactly the same question i do ask myself, that is: will i have peace? and the answer is YES. my problem is my mind, the thing plagues me a lot, something that no person wl find fault with, you will see that my mind wl see all the errors in that thing, i have prayed about this thing but to no avail, if not i would have long married this lady, but i know i am still optimistic that the marriage will take place

dingbang:
Never marry out of pity

yea, i also considered this, but on the contrary, the case here is more of self pity, that is pity for myself cos of lack of savvy account balance, my business capital presently is two milion, i live in a moderately furnished three bedroom flat, have no car now etc and so going for those 'psychedelic ladies' may cause me a lot of headache, infact one of them, a graduate from a university in india, when i proposed to her, she said i don't have enough cash, lol, infact more contributions pls, should i then marry this one cos she accepts me the way i am, when i know that i wl soon get rich? remember i do not hate her just that the grammar .....

trem321:
yea, i also considered this, but on the contrary, the case here is more of self pity, that is pity for myself cos of lack of savvy account balance, my business capital presently is two milion, i live in a moderately furnished three bedroom flat, have no car now etc and so going for those 'psychedelic ladies' may cause me a lot of headache, infact one of them, a graduate from a university in india, when i proposed to her, she said i don't have enough cash, lol, infact more contributions pls, should i then marry this one cos she accepts me the way i am, when i know that i wl soon get rich? remember i do not hate her just that the grammar .....

it depends on you.. As for me , it won't take me a second to come to a conclusion.. But be that as it may, I think you should just carry on with the marriage preparations.., Jonathan had a reason for marrying Patience, you know.. So sometimes its not just about what people will say.. Yes your friends will laugh behind you saying ur woman ain't good with English buh you are happy that she doesn't give you sleepless nights.. So if you ask me, I think you should just put all that behind and continue the love you both have established.

So you've been in this relationship long enough,made her,her family and your church realise you want to marry her and you are still asking this kind of question?

Marry her and do everything you can to brush her up.

Peace in marriage is very important.You will understand later.

trem321:
my dear, that is what i am doing now but sometimes i ask myself some discouraging questions like can't i just find someone else to marry etc and since then i have also never seen someone that is compatible wt me, yes that is the dilema i found myself into,

Just keep teaching her, with love, she'll gladly learn

trem321:
hmmmm, really? deep down in my spirit i have that calmness but the problem is my ability to be proud of her, that her poor command of grammar hurts me a lot, do you think i wl not feel embittered tomorrow?

Seems you prefer a lady that has good command of English without good character abi?. The truth is that you can't find a perfect person in marriage even you, are not perfect. Don't be deceived, the lady is not from England so English language was forced on all of us by British colony pls take note of this. Mr man, if the lady has the quality of one who will respect and love you unconditionally, pls go ahead with her. May be I should share my experience with my wife when I first met her.