For Naija, stealing na rocket science. If you no sabi am, your own don finish be dat. You wan thief simple 200 naira bread...e nor easy. Common area boy like me, I con get eye for surveillance. If I see tyre I don thief am be dat, petrol! I don thief am, kerosene, i don thief am! Cutlass i don thief am...even amebo..I don kidnap am. I dey tell una, bifor I even waka rissh that Agege bread, I don form syndicate. I dey crase? I no wan die! m'dem catch me, wetin dem fi do? Even ordinary rubber band, dem no fi put am for my neck..I thief 200 K of assorted weapons bifor I rish that bread!

Crowd don gather, see commotion..dem call olopa...jungle justice get wahala today. Olopa dey yarn, ehhnnn so you get surveillance, you form syndicate, you get natwork? Nah criminal be dis? abeg ma pipul na criminal be dis? Make I call oga at the top, im get import export license, you get better bisnes. As I enter hin motor, follow am go meet Oga...nah dat time I con see one foolish sombory...agege bread, broad daylight, enter im pocket...no surveillance, under bridge...tyre effry wia....kaiii "He WAS a learner"

pls can someone translate this trash to a simple understandable lamguage

Lol I probably speak better English than you, it is just for added comedy.