My marriage is 3years as we speak with 2 kids(a boy and a girl). I took in for my daughter when my son was 1 year 3 months old. Now when I told my hubby I was pregnant, there is nothing he did not say or do to me, he said that he has people looking up to him and I am bringing extra burden on him. ((This is a man that agreed with me that we will have 3 kids God willing)) throughout my pregnancy he tormented me to the point that he wanted me dead with the pregnancy or that I miscarried the pregnancy or that I die with the pregnancy.He told people that I always disturbed him for s*x and that I planned the pregnancy. I fought to stay alive for my son. He beat me twice with the pregnancy on one occasion he blinded me in an eye from a punch from him for one week I didn't go to work, my job was astake. I kept praying and hoping I sailed through this pregnancy. On another occasion I needed to go out to my school's graduation with my son considering that i was heavy and am going with my son who is less than 2 years old, so i needed to go with the car (we both contributed money to buy(the family's car)) and we had both talked about my going with the car for my graduation the previous day, only for him to take the car keys and zoomed off to the car when I was ready with my son to go out. I tried to remind him about what we agreed on, he said and I quote "if you don't get out of there, I will jam you with the car", I was perplexed, still looking at him, he entered the car drove it and hit me with the car. Came out, slapped me and went back into the car and he said that he will kill me and marry another woman. It then dawned on me that he wants me dead. I had to start threading with caution knowing that am alone in this world, with my son and with pregnancy. I became more prayerful and I paid alot of sacrifices to stay alive. Sacrifices in the sense that I never demand for money from him as that will infuriate him to pounce on me. From the start of the pregnancy to baby items, hospital list, hospital bills after delivery till date I never asked him for money and he never used his mind to help out with money. I promised myself never to ask him for money again, I spend my money when am in need and I don't have money, I borrow. In the midst of this saga, he was always having s*x with me whenever he wants to, which mouth will I use to say no. And most of the time, he gets rough really rough during s*x so as to make me miscarry. Prior to this pregnancy I never refuse him s*x, even when I am too tired. When I am sick, he wants s*x, I tell him I can't because I am not well, he will force me. We can quarrel throughout the day and not talk to each other, but at night he must have "his" s*x. I tell him am not safe, he will tell me he will withdraw until I got pregnant for my daughter. Now I have put to bed. My son is 2yrs 4months and my daughter is 5months. I pay my bills and my kids bills and now he wants more sex. I can't do family planning for personal reasons. I plead with him to use condom, he says he won't that he does not like it. He uses withdrawal method which we both know doesn't work, and then I refuse him sometimes but still he over powers me and gets his s*x. I fear I will get pregnant again. Now he is threatening, raining fire and brimstone over s*x. That he will bring in a woman who will drive me out of the house. Please I need your candid advice on what to do. I am going crazy

Madam the best thing is for you to to the family planning you've been running away from or you divorce your husband.
Domestic violence is the order of the day now

is this a real marriage...you need to run ooo

.

madam plz kindly leave him,he will eventually come to his senses.dnt let him kill u first .plz biko

HE OVERPOWERED YOU AND HAD SEX WITH YOU,OFFENCE no1(RAPE).

HE BEATS YOU.OFFENCE no2(DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)

WITH WAT YOU WROTE,HE'S A SEX ADDICT,AND A WOMAN BEATER,SO MY SISTER PRAYER CANNOT DO EVERYTHING, MY SISTER ITS OFTEN SAID,HEAVEN HELP THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES...

YOU HAVE TO SEAT HIM DOWN AND TALK TO HIM,TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL,IF HE DOESN'T CONCUR,MY DEAR LOOK FOR A BETTER ALTERNATIVE TO STAY ALIVE

some men no dey get tired of sex



i will advice you to use padlock on your kitty before you go to bed

TR1212....oh lawdy lawd! What is happening?? Madam pls run oooo chaiiii

Florblu:
Madam the best thing is for you to to the family planning you've been running away from or you divorce your husband.
Domestic violence is the order of the day now

can't do family planning for personal reasons. Or wanna hear the reasons

You seriously don't know what to do? You have several options;
*Separation with the aim to reconcile
*Separation with the aim to divorce
*Family planning
*Prayers
*Sexy lingere
*Talk to counselor

Choosing any of the option will depend greatly on what your personal goals are. No one can tell you what you hope for yourself, only you can and once you have identified what you want, one of the above options becomes a decision for you

TUNSBOYLE:
some men no dey get tired of sex




i will advice you to use padlock on your kitty before you go to bed

Is that possible?

snowlord:
madam plz kindly leave him,he will eventually come to his senses.dnt let him kill u first .plz biko

By leave him, you mean divorce or temporary separation?

Emerald557:

Is that possible?

put on extra tight jeans on the service part, he wont be easy for him, instead of sleeping gown

Mskrisx:
TR1212....oh lawdy lawd! What is happening?? Madam pls run oooo chaiiii

My marriage is just 3 years.... Run to where

TUNSBOYLE:
put on extra tight jeans on the service part, he wont be easy for him, instead of sleeping gown

you think so

TUNSBOYLE:
put on extra tight jeans on the service part, he wont be easy for him, instead of sleeping gown

you think so?

Emerald557:

My marriage is just 3 years.... Run to where

Hehhe dont run.

Enjoy your stay....madame and oh! I forgot you've always silently wished to sing alleluia with Angel Gabby
Don't worry, you just won the ticket! Hallllllllleluyyyaaaaaaa

sybarite7:
HE OVERPOWERED YOU AND HAD SEX WITH YOU,OFFENCE no1(RAPE).

HE BEATS YOU.OFFENCE no2(DOMESTIC VIOLENCE)

WITH WAT YOU WROTE,HE'S A SEX ADDICT,AND A WOMAN BEATER,SO MY SISTER PRAYER CANNOT DO EVERYTHING, EVEN THE BIBLE SAID,HEAVEN HELP THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES...

YOU HAVE TO SEAT HIM DOWN AND TALK TO HIM,TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL,IF HE DOESN'T CONCUR,MY DEAR LOOK FOR A BETTER ALTERNATIVE TO STAY ALIVE

as for domestic violence I have reported him to the police. But as for rape, who do I tell? They will say he has paid bride price... I have never enjoyed love making. It has always been s*x, s*x and more s*x

Enoquin:
You seriously don't know what to do? You have several options;
*Separation with the aim to reconcile
*Separation with the aim to divorce
*Family planning
*Prayers
*Sexy lingere
*Talk to counselor

Choosing any of the option will depend greatly on what your personal goals are. No one can tell you what you hope for yourself, only you can and once you have identified what you want, one of the above options becomes a decision for you

Seriously looking at your first option

Emerald557:
as for domestic violence I have reported him to the police. But as for rape, who do I tell? They will say he has paid bride price... I have never enjoyed love making. It has always been s*x, s*x and more s*x

Was your husband like this when you too were dating

Have you had a chat with him lately about why he is mistreating you, like did you do sth wrong? Is there sth you were supposed to be doing that you are not doing, you know stuffs like that?

Nawa o. How did you end up marrying this man? Didn't you see the signs? Didn't you date him for a while cos im really not understanding this level of hatred he has for his own family. Young family for that matter. This is not ordinary o.

Badgers14:


Was your husband like this when you too were dating

Have you had a chat with him lately about why he is mistreating you, like did you do sth wrong? Is there sth you were supposed to be doing that you are not doing, you know stuffs like that?

While we were dating no s*x
Mistreating me To him it is his normal life. He does not see it as mistreatment. He is the man. Imagine a man who doesn't have a hobby. My hubby doesn't have a hobby. I am his hobby, sex with me is his hobby.

Emerald557:

While we were dating no s*x
Mistreating me To him it is his normal life. He does not see it as mistreatment. He is the man. Imagine a man who doesn't have a hobby. My hubby doesn't have a hobby. I am his hobby, sex with me is his hobby.

And you didn't see these signs while dating? I'm sooo upset. Didn't you notice something was wrong? Forget the sex part, what about his attitude towards you.

DukeNija:
Nawa o. How did you end up marrying this man? Didn't you see the signs? Didn't you date him for a while cos im really not understanding this level of hatred he has for his own family. Young family for that matter. This is not ordinary o.

I don't know oh.
You see it as hatred. He sees it as a right because he has paid bride price

Emerald557:

I don't know oh.
You see it as hatred. He sees it as a right because he has paid bride price

Madam pls you've not answered my question. Pls I dey vex Abeg no vex me more. Didn't you see the signs while dating him. Forget the sex I'm referring to how he treats you and his character generally. Didn't you notice the violence, anger and lack of sincere love?

DukeNija:
Nawa o. How did you end up marrying this man? Didn't you see the signs? Didn't you date him for a while cos im really not understanding this level of hatred he has for his own family. Young family for that matter. This is not ordinary o.

Yeah, it isn't ordinary.... That's y I keep praying and trusting God

DukeNija:


Madam pls you've not answered my question. Pls I dey vex Abeg no vex me more. Didn't you see the signs while dating him. Forget the sex I'm referring to how he treats you and his character generally. Didn't you notice the violence, anger and lack of sincere love?

I didn't my dear.
We dated from a distance... He was in Lagos I was in benin

This thread is a joke.

For a "woman" with a newborn, a toddler, and a maniac husband whom you have to tip-toe around for fear of getting beaten up, you do seem to have a lot of spare time on your hands - eagle watching, monitoring and rapidly responding to comments on your thread.

Emerald557:

I didn't my dear.
We dated from a distance... He was in Lagos I was in benin

And you never visited or spent time together ? Something is terribly wrong somewhere cos this man never loved you. You better save yourself before it is too late.

Emerald557:
can't do family planning for personal reasons. Or wanna hear the reasons

Really.

Emerald557:
The man should have gone for family planning (vasectomy) for himself after the first 2 kids or continually use condom. Family planning for women is as dangerous as the risk of abortion and childbirth of which the best option is childbirth..... My opinion though

And you dread getting pregnant.

You most likely are pregnant again anyway.

Emerald557:

While we were dating no s*x
Mistreating me To him it is his normal life. He does not see it as mistreatment. He is the man. Imagine a man who doesn't have a hobby. My hubby doesn't have a hobby. I am his hobby, sex with me is his hobby.

My dear, I am pained by your situation. Nothing hurts more than a broken heart from the same person that professed love to you.

Here's a few question to ponder, you don't have to reply the answers here.

1. Why did you marry your hubby? What quality does he have that attracted him to you?

2. Why do you think your hubby married you?

The reason for those questions is to reexamine how you got here, was there any tell tell sign that was ignored?

You know sometimes we human get infactuated by love, and get married for the wrong reasons.

oh he is tall, dark, full of muscle and got a decent job.. Ok he's got my attention. Or from a guy's view,

Dang, see that bôobs, see that nyash, I go fûck am tire.( seeing the lady as a séx tôy rather than a wife that would help him start a home, raise kids and build a happy home.)

If people enter into marriage with these views , since they marriage mostly for the wrong reason, few years down the line the marriage will burst.

I had a friend that married this girl because she was fair, tall and of course pretty. When we hang out , you know friends and all, he says what the girl does... We tried to tell him, bro shine your eyes.. He usually jokes, once they get married he will use his dìck to reset her brain. Well they are no longer married today, the marriage didn't even last 1 year.

The reason for my long epistle is for you to see if you could think back and identify when his attitude towards you changed, if he really loved you or just because he wants your body.

And also for other readers to learn from other's mistake and make sure they marry for the right reasons, remember no body is perfect but you need to identify there flaws to know how to help them fix it.

Finally, how's your parents/family doing? Financially okay? Could they take care of you and your kids for a while?
When I lived in onitsha, this guy that lives opposite our house beats the wife mercilessly, the girl dont have anywhere to run to, parents are poor, lives in the village. So because the guy found himself renting half shop at ogbo efere and lives in a one bedroom inside a 3 bedroom flat he feels he is DANGOTE.

Also, do you have any source of income? Do you have a job? Self employed?

Sorry for my boring response, I have 4 sisters and 2 of them are married, wo betide any man that will lay there hands on my sisters like the pictures i see online, hmm. Hmmm. It pains me when I read stories like that.

Take care my dear.

Cheers!

EfemenaXY:
This thread is a joke.

For a "woman" with a newborn, a toddler, and a maniac husband whom you have to tip-toe around for fear of getting beaten up, you do seem to have a lot of spare time on your hands - eagle watching, monitoring and rapidly responding to comments on your thread.

The kids are asleep. I am hardly awake this time. The man is not home yet. I wrote this out of pains. I needed advice