For the sake of these I go on knees
I go simply cos I am his
I can no more burden the trees
For Satan torments among these
My life now lives under trees
One and another like cheese
It blows, it flows, Satan's breeze
Lord can longer stomach these
With trouble I am about to freeze
They come to beat me with trees
Even when I run to seas
With water I am about to freeze
You gave me life on a lease
So I gladly come saying please
Save from danger ridden trees
Help from shark infested seas
For I hate to think of freeze
Save my sweet lord from these
I do all these on knees
In Jesus mighty name with please

Hey, lumi, what can I say? I connect with the concept of crying to God for help, used to write poems like this when I was younger. However, I notice that you pay too much attention to rhyming every line, a mistake lotsa beginning poets make. This tends to be confining, makes your poem stilted,and the message you're trying to pass across gets lost in transit. You should try rhyming just two lines, that would make things far easier for you,for example after saying 'I go simply cos I'm his' you could go 'I lay my burdens at his throne,cos I no longer can bear'em on my own',makes the poem fluid, and stresses you less. If you also concentrate on the message you wanna pass across,instead of the medium you're passing it through,you'd achieve far more. The good thing about being a beginner is that you can only get better, big ups.

[b]I asked God to take away my habit.
God said, No.
It is not for me to take away, but for you to give it up.



I asked God to give me a man of my dream to live with
God said, No.
>
> I would give you a man you can't live without
>
>
>
> I asked God to grant me patience.
> God said, No.
> Patience is a byproduct of tribulations;
> it isn't granted, it is learned.
>
>
>
> I asked God to give me happiness.
> God said, No.
> I give you blessings; Happiness is up to you.
>
>
>
> I asked God to spare me pain.
> God said, No.
> Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares
> and brings you closer to me.
>
>
>
> I asked God to make my spirit grow.
> God said, No.
> You must grow on your own! ,
> but I will prune you to make you fruitful.
>
>
>
> I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life.
> God said, No.
>
> I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things.
>
>
>
> I ask God to help me LOVE others, as much as He loves me.
> God said, Ahhhh, finally you have the idea.
>
>
>
> May God Bless You,
> "To the world you might be one person, but to one
> person you just might be the world"
> "Even the word 'IMPOSSIBLE' says 'I M POSSIBLE' "[/b]

Thank you much. This is the sought of reflection i craved after in joining this group. This is my first post and i jus thought to make it an affair with the god of words(word-play). I see this group operates on a high level. I would try to keep fit while stepping up my game. Once again, I appreciate it.