A wise girl saw her male classmates plucking mangoes, she pleaded them for one but they refused and told her to climb and pluck hers, she climbed and plucked as many as she wanted. when she got home her mother asked, where did you pluck all this mangoes from? She answered, i saw my male classmates plucking mangoes and i pleaded to them to give me one but they refused and said i should climb and pluck mine, so i climbed and plucked all this mangoes. The mother shouted, foolish girl, don't you know they only wanted to see your pant? The girl smiled and said, i know mama, that's why i removed my pant before climbing.

4 nuns stand in line ready to confess their sins to the priest. 1st one enters.. Nun1: ''Father,forgive me for i have sinned.I seen the male thing''. Priest: ''Say 10 Our Fathers and wash your eyes in the Holy water''. 2nd nun enters.. Nun2: ''Forgive me Father for i have sinned.I've touched male thing''. Priest: ''Say 20 Our Fathers and wash your hand in the Holy water''. 3th nun wants to enter but 4th one pushes her and enters before her.. Nun4: ''Father!You are crazy if you think I will wash my mouth after She washes her ass in the Holy water''!

1. Mother and her innocent child A curious child asked his mother: “Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?” The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: “It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!” The child replied innocently: “Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.” And the mother instantly kept quite.

2. Couple going on vacation A couple was supposed to go on a vacation, but his wife was on a business trip so the
man went to the destination first, expecting his wife to join him the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was sent instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. READ ALSO:Hilarious Short Nigerian Comedy Collection When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. P.S. It’s sure hot down here.

3. A Professor and a Sailor A Professor was traveling by boat. Shortly on the way, he asked the sailor: “Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, Physiology? But the sailor replied no to all his questions. Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy. Just after a while, the boat started sinking. The
Sailor turned and asked the Professor, do you know swiminology and escapology from sharkology? The professor said no. Sailor: “Well, sharkology and crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will
dieology because of your mouthology…..

A bus carrying many people crashed on an icy road, burst into flames, and everyone died. Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven." The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful." God grants her wish. The next person can’t decide on what to wish for, so he ends up wishing for the same thing. At this point a man at the very back of the line starts to laugh. The next couple, seeing how utterly wondrous the two have become, make their wish to become beautiful also, and the man at the end laughs even louder. One after another, the people wish for the same thing. The closer God gets to the end of the line, the harder the man laughs. When God finally reaches him, he asks "What is your wish my son?" The man says, "Make them all ugly again!"

5. A Psychiatrist and his Psychos At a psychiatric home, a psychiatrist decided to test how his patients were responding to treatments so far. He drew a car on a paper and hung it on the wall and asked them to help him push it. They all started pushing the car except one. The psychiatrist became happy in anticipation that the man was really responding to his treatments. He calmly went to him and asked him why he is not pushing the car with the rest? And he responded – “those men pushing that car are mad.” The psychiatrist became the more happier and asked the mad man why he said they are mad? The mad man replied and said – “because, am the one with the keys of that car they are wasting their time to push.” The Psychiatrist on hearing this, fainted.

6. An 18 year old boy and married women A drunk 18 year old boy asked a married woman out, the woman got pissed & told her husband.. The husband told her to invite the boy so that he can beat the hell out of him. The woman did what her husband requested as he was
hiding under the bed… When the boy got there, he took off his t-shirt and his body was full of scars… This made the woman to ask, “why have you so many scars?” The boy replied, “my
job is to lay married women & usually I get caught so I always kill their husbands. If someone shows up now he will be number 20 on my murder list… The boy continued, as the woman tried to reach out her husband under the bed, a small voice came up, “If you tell him am here, I will deal with you!”

7. A lucky mum and her three daughters A mum was lucky enough to see her three daughters wed in the same year, so she whispered to each of them “After your weddings,text me your first night experience and don’t forget to text it in a coded way!” After a week, the first daughter sent ‘NESCAFE’ in an sms to her mum while a week later, the second sent ‘BENSON’. Their mum, as a ‘soji woman’ picked up a tin of Nescafe and read from the
label “fantastic till the last drop!” She also went to her husband’s pack of Benson cigarettes and found written on it “Extra long, king size!” she thought aloud “not too bad for them at their age” A few days later, her third daughter’s text comes in, “Arik: Lagos – Kano!”. So Mum decided to call Arik Air information desk to inquire about their Kano to Lagos flight. And She was told, “It is a 3 times daily, 7 days a week and the flight duration is 75 minutes to and fro!” Mama throws herself up in the air, lands, slumps and fainted shouting… “Yeeeeee! Eleyi ma pa mi lomo ooo! ( this one will kill my daughter ooo!)”

8. The Preacher and the congregation A Preacher said: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it in the river”. And the congregation cried,”Amen!” “And if I had all the whiskey and rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it in the river”. Again the congregation cried,”Amen!” The preacher sat down. The deacon then stood up and said: “For our closing hymn, let’s turn to page 126 of our hymn books and sing, ‘We shall drink from that river”. THE CONGREGATION SCREAMED HALLELUJAH!!

A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!" His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be

9. A psychiatrist on a group therapy examination A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their
small children.. .”You all have obsessions ,”he observed. READ ALSO:Joke: The Life Of A Talkative Is 50: 50 To the first mother, Mary, he
said,”You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.”He turned to the second Mom, Ann: “Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.” He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: “Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child’s name, Brandy.” At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. “Come on, Dick, we’ re leaving!”

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua. P.S . Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

AKPOS: How far na for our discussion, you no go follow me go? KWAME: I Don't think so. I'm just to occupied these days. AKPOS: Na wa for you o. You dey fall my hand too much. No yawa na. KWAME: Whatever. Go look for someone else please, but Akpos, why don't you speak English? You always interact with pidgin English. AKPOS: Meaning? KWAME: I'm using English and you are replying with pidgin English. AKPOS: I see.... You must be an idiot and if you aren't, you've made a world class effort at simulating one. I feel debased just knowing you exist. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprohagic cloacal parasitic pond scum. Goddamn living emptiness like you! Belligerent barratrous bigoted niccompu KWAME: Wetin be all this one na?!!! AKPOS: So you can speak pidgin English too

My dad and my mum were watching one American movie yesterday evening, when I heard the sound from the movie, I decided to join them, as we were watching the movie, a young boy like my age started romancing his madam's sister, they kissed and when the guy's hand crossed the girl’s private part, I looked straight into my dad’s eyes and I noticed that his eyes has changed, then all my attention went straight to the video. They were still kissing, when they both fell into the chair close to them I knew something was about to happen and the guy was about to open the girl's bra . . .when MY DADDY looked at me with hard eyes and shouted with a loud voice “MICHEAL" have you ironed the car”?? I was carried away and I said NO LIGHT SIR.

Frank was getting ready to go on a trip to New York for the first time, and was talking to his friend Bill. Bill: “While you are in New York, there is a bar that you have to go to. When you walk through the front door, you are handed a free drink. Then you can go to the back room and get laid. Come back up to the bar, and you get another free drink. Then you can get laid again. It goes on like this all night.” Frank: “That sounds unbelievable. Have you really been there?” Bill: “No, but my sister has.”

“I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, ‘No, this is my first time.’ So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. ‘Just a minute,’ she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. ‘Do these excite you?’ She asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk. ‘Well, come on’, she said, ‘We don’t have much time.’ So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOWWWWWWWW, I was done within a few moments. She looked at me with a bit of a frown. ‘Did you put that condom on?’ she asked. I said, ‘I sure did,’ and held up my thumb to show her. She fainted.”