MY FIRST ALAWI.
PART 1

My name is John Adamu.
This is my story of how I spent my first alawi.
Just like every other person would, I had great expectations regarding camp days.
I had mind and physical preparations,so I thought.
I had bought all I needed for the duration of 21 days.
As usual, my Mum made sure I had all for an assured comfort in camp..... Yes, she's that caring.
I had made up my mind to become a real man after my service year, in fact immediately after camp.
My parents have always provided for my needs.
At 25 I felt I was old enough to be independent of my parents,its time I gave them something instead of collecting.
I promised myself to set aside 90% of my first Alawi to be given to my parents to show my appreciation for all they've done, but how wrong I was.
I remember saying I'd form tough and mean towards people during my days in camp especially 'em SHEMALES because I've heard stories of guys who barely made it out of camp alive because of 'em kalashikas.
Now outside the camp for proper check-in, I was overwhelmed by the number of people I saw.
People from all regions, with different and unique backgrounds.
For some it was quite easy to make friends....with just a hi, I am bla bla bla earns one a friendship.
I was not going to betray my stand to maintain a tough and mean attitude.
Trust them girls, some had hairstyles I've never seen before.
One would conclude that they were going to camp in Dubai,having fun all the way.
Some looked too serious, too classy to approach,not as though I was interested in getting to know any of them because of the fear of unplanned spending in the next few days.
Fast forward to the next day.......
We were being addressed by the camp director.
Of course the soldiers were all around, making the gathering to be as quiet as a graveyard.
The camp director was raw, a very straight forward man he was.
His message to the girls was to be careful as every soldier would promise them a PPA in Aso Rock if only they'd sleep with them.....The soldiers were not smiling at this point.
To the guys he said, 'From experience, the fear of women is the beginning of financial prudence during and after camp'.
Wow, so this man reads minds, I said to myself.
Worry not Mr, no girl is going to partake in a kobo of my alawi.... And I was wrong again.


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Nice write up!

HonAdeli:
Nice write up!

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PART 2
Fast forward to halfway my stay in camp. The cook had connections to get one a good PPA.
The laundry man also had equal connections according to them.
The soldiers were even acting
as if the camp was a barrack.
The doctors at the camp clinic would also tell you to rub their hand for a good PPA,....can't one go in pretense of being sick and rest without unnecessary rubbish?
For some reasons I fell a victim to a man who shared same name as the then governor of the State.
He promised me a PPA in the state's government House if only I parted way with a whooping sum of ten thousand naira (10,000).
I agreed to pay him as soon as we were paid, forgetting that I promised to give 90% of my first alawi to my parents,it was worth it......so I thought.
Fast forward to the night before our passing out from camp.
I was on queue to collect my first alawi via table payment.
The fake Cousin to the governor was in camp, at the popular Mami market.
He called me immediately I got paid.
Chaaaai, could this man be a monitoring spirit?
I dragged myself to where he was seated,with two beautiful ladies.
Omo , see temptation o,these are sea goddesses.
I slapped myself.
Adamu, I called myself and said I missed having fun in camp.
How could these damsels be in this camp and I never noticed, choooooi.
Just when I sat down to settle Mr cousin,he signalled to one of the lady to go join me.
He further added that he needed privacy.
I had to go with my new 'stranger' friend to get a new table.
While seated, all I was thinking was how I was gonna give my hard earned money to this Governor cousin.
Governor cousin?
Money shouldn't be his problem nau, I said to satisfy my curiosity.
I was lost in my thoughts when my new found friend touched my lap.
Stranger: Hey handsome, are you thinking about your container at the port?
Me: Ooops, sorry ennnh... What's your name please.
Stranger: I am Kimberleen.
Me: I Am John Adamu.
Stranger: John and Adamu combined? I can only imagine.
Me:How do you mean.
Stranger: Never mind.
Me: Alright.........
About ten minutes later.
Kimberleen :Ennnh, John or is it Adamu.
Don't be a boring guy, you're too handsome to be boring.
Me:Sorry Kim, I'm just lost in my thoughts.
Kimberleen: I can tell..... Well, you can talk to me, problem shared is problem half solved.
Me: Don't you worry about me, ama be owk.
Kimberleen :I don't know about you but I need a drink,should I order?
Me: Sure,go ahead......... I answered.
Kimberleen :You're sweet, thank you handsome.
Me: laughed....... It's nothing, I'm brushing,sorry......blushing.
Kimberleen :So you can be this fun to be with, wow.
My girl friend must meet you,she further stated.
She brought out her phone and called her friend whom from the conversation I understood was Funky.
Few minutes later, the said Funky appeared with two other girls.
In all, I'd say they were 5 because 2 of them were double sized ladies.
Chaaaai,ah Don enter one chance.
Just then Mr governor cousin came to get his 10k.
I gave him without asking questions so as to give my 6 in 4 ladies a big boy impression.
After like an hour later we were done, the ladies all drank and ordered pepper soup.
It's worth to note here that I only drank a bottle of Fayrouz all the while.
I called the sales guy who said our bill was N6900.
Ewoooo, my village people finally caught up with me,i said to myself.....feeling awful.
I paid, faking a smile so the ladies would feel comfortable.
All I got from them was a side hug with the double sized ladies squeezing me like hot dog.
I simply said good night to Kimberleen, Funky and Co.
Fast forward to the next day.
We woke up early, getting our mattresses back to where we collected them.
I was full of hope and positive vibes because I had thought my deal with Mr cousin was real.
Few minutes later, we were briefed and told to go get our posting letters.
I walked majestically to the collection point,having thought I'd be posted to the State Government House.
When it got to my turn to collect my posting letter,i just snatched it from the lady and walked away without opening it.
I got my things, went out of the camp gate and stopped a cab and headed to the State government House.
Just before we'd enter the first search point at the Government House, out of an assumed joy I decided to open my posting letter.
John Adamu........ Gbotingidi girls secondary school.
Whaaaaaaaaaaat??
Driver, stop lemme faint.
The end.

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