Theaters are never what they are, without all kinds of annoying people who surround us. From the failed comedians to the weirdly loud talkers and many more, your life becomes a comedy-tragedy saga itself when you go to watch a movie in Nigeria.
Below are the 10 types of people you are bound to meet in a Nigerian Cinema;


1. The type that feel the cinema is the best place to call


"No, I dey Ozone..."

"E go soon finish"

"Ehn! the film sweet"

It’s already annoying enough when you hear someone’s phone ring in the middle of a Marvel movie, but there is always that one person that will not only answer it, but proceed to have a long conversation with the person on the other end.
Don’t be that guy. Just don’t.

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2. The slowpoke who passes lame comments and pisses you off


"You see Zack Synder doesn't know what he's doing anymore, I would do better"


This set of people would just want to have a conversation with you no matter how hard you try to avoid their sorry ass. Especially when they see a pretty lady who came to the cinema alone. They would want to impress.

Uncle abeg, who ask you?

3. The Lost Person



“Wait, who be that?”

“Wetin dey happen?”

“The film don end?”

See, I understand losing track of an anyhow plot (Interstellar got me like that), but this person will spend the entire movie going 1 step forward and then 10 steps back, constantly asking any unfortunate person sitting close to them to explain everything that is happening.

4. The ‘JAMB Questions’ Person



“Will he die?”

“Will there be part 2?”

“Will he catch the bad guy?”

This person knows you are just seeing the movie for the first time like they are, but they don’t care, they will spend the entirety of the movie annoyingly asking you questions, like you are the one that directed it.

5. The Couple



“Mmmmm…”

“Ahhhhhh…”

*moans*

These ones were too broke for a hotel room, so they decided the best place to come and get nasty was the dark, but very occupied movie hall. To them, you don’t exist, but be sure they will make you extremely uncomfortable.

6. The one that takes her toddler to a war movie



“Don’t worry, he never cries…”

*child cries all through*

That parent that somehow decided the best place to bring their child to, is the really dark, really loud cinema hall. Their child will periodically cry, and they will periodically carry him/her out. This will go on for the entirety of the movie.

They are the worst.

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Lalastclala, Mynd44