Last year, the President and Mrs. obasanjo were vacationing in their home state of Ogun. On a venture one day, they stopped at a filling station to fill up the car with gas. It seemed that the owner of the station was once Stella's secondary school lover.

They exchanged hellos, and went on their way.

As they were driving on to their destination, OBJ put his arm around Hillary and said, "Well, honey, if you had stayed with him, you would be the wife of a filling station owner today."

She smirked and replied, "No, if I had stayed with him, he would be President of the Nigeria."

Patient: I'm in a hospital! Why am I in here? Doctor: You've had an accident involving a train.

Patient: What happened?

Doctor: Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?

Patient: Well, The bad news first,

Doctor: Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them.

Patient: That's terrible! What's the good news?

Doctor: There's a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your shoes

AUDI

Accelerates Under Demonic Influence

Always Unsafe Designs Implemented

All Un-informed Drivers Insulted

All Unnecessary Devices Installed

BMW

Big Money Works

Be My Wife

Brutal Money Waster

BUICK

Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer

CHEVROLET

Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips, Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time

DODGE

Dumb Old Dirty Gas Eater

Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

FORD

Fix Or Repair Daily

Found On Road, Dead

Fast Only Rolling Downhill

GM

General Maintenance

GMC

Garage Man's Companion

HONDA

Had One Never Did Again

Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.

Hated Old Noisy Damaged Auto

HYUNDAI

Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive?

MAZDA

Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

OLDSMOBILE

Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day.

Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

SAAB

Send Another Automobile Back

TOYOTA

Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO

Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW

Virtually Worthless