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Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law - Family - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law (3290 Views)

What Causes Tension Between Wives And Mother-in-laws? / Experienced Mothers In The House / Why Do Some Mothers-In-law Always Maltreat Their Daughters-In-laws? (2) (3) (4)

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Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by niniowo(f): 12:53pm On Dec 19, 2005
Why do mothers-in-law find it difficult to get on with their daughters-in-law? Is a dead mother-in-law the best one?

My mother is perhaps an exception. She has very positive rapport with my brothers' wives. So, my sisters and brothers what do you think of mother-in-law? Any personal experience?
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by casper(m): 8:00pm On Dec 19, 2005
it is because they still see their sons as kids of those days and wonder why one LADY angry would just wake up one morning and take him away from them and make him not visit everyday and so on.
but if you have a mum that is not the jealous type you will not have a problem.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by prettyH(f): 11:08pm On Dec 19, 2005
Some mother in laws are angels thats for sure while some are no better than the devils incarnate. But i think mothers are still quite possessive bout their sons. So this sort of creates a rift between both his mum and wife. And as well mothers don't like sharing now.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Greatpeter(m): 11:12pm On Dec 19, 2005
prettyH: Some mother in laws are angels thats for sure while some are no better than the devils incarnate

Ha prettyH softly sofly.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by nikinash(f): 3:59pm On Feb 28, 2006
mother-in-laws are just mothers trying to hold on to the figment of their babies never growing up. they've been there forever taking care of those sons and getting all the attention so sometimes it takes a lot to let them go.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Lateefah: 12:47pm On Mar 02, 2006
Some mother-in-laws were not wicked to the extend of not having a cordial relationship with their daughter-in-law, but in most cases some daughter-in-law are to be blame. Cos they believe that once they were married, their mother-in-law have nothing to do with their husband again which is not suppose to be. Well sha, God knows best. My advice for most ladies is to remember that one day they will become a mother-in-law.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by eveseh(f): 3:15pm On Apr 28, 2006
it cant work to good between these two undecided
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Nobody: 10:44am On Mar 08, 2009
Well, if your mother tells you she doesn't like your wife to be, listen cos if the marriage continues then the war has begun. Women like to have control in their sons lives and to be honest, from what I've seen, some mothers loose track of time when they are consumed with hatred for another person.It's sad, but such is our reality.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Outstrip(f): 5:07pm On Mar 08, 2009
Your mother in law will only go as far as her son lets her. So when she misbehaves corner your husband and put pepper in his eyes
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by prittigrrr(f): 2:18pm On Mar 09, 2009
For this cause shall leave his father and MOTHER and CLEAVE to his wife. The problem with mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a love triangle: two women are in love with the same man. The man needs to explain to mom that he loves her but he has promotion from God. Husband is a higher calling and responsibility than son. However, he has enough love for both women in his life. The wife should support the husband's love for his mom and encourage him to continue to call and visit his mom. Many problems can be avoided with common sense and wisdom.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by JJYOU: 2:39pm On Mar 09, 2009
let us pray that all mothers die a week after her first son marries and all the ladies say AMEEEN.

common sense
Lateefah:

Some mother-in-laws were not wicked to the extend of not having a cordial relationship with their daughter-in-law, but in most cases some daughter-in-law are to be blame. Cos [size=14pt]they believe that once they were married, their mother-in-law have nothing to do with their husband again which is not suppose to be[/size]. Well sha, God knows best. My advice for most ladies is to remember that one day they will become a mother-in-law.
i wish they all remember. you can just imagine some NL femi-nazis giving their ma inlaw breathing space if they find a man. may God bless my ma-inlaw 24/7
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by tpia: 2:44pm On Mar 09, 2009
.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by JustGood(m): 2:48pm On Mar 09, 2009
I dont think any mother ever decides to interfere and disturb her son's family. It is the way of life that both wife and mother love the man. They both have to find a way of making things work and the man should play a conciliatory role rather than make things worse.

The girls will have the same problems when they become mothers so they need to think about what will happen to them when their sons get married, especially with the way the whole world is getting so wild and independent and uncaring.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by bigfather(m): 8:04pm On Mar 09, 2009
Not all mothers are like that. My mum and my wife are so close to the extent that i sometimes get jealous !
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by benedictac(f): 10:10am On Mar 10, 2009
some are just evil, some become wicked as a result of the wives (some wives come in with the motives that no in-law will come into this house) while others are just angels.

I wished i had one it would had been better for me than having some sensless sisters in-law.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by iice(f): 4:12pm On Mar 12, 2009
Outstrip:

Your mother in law will only go as far as her son lets her. So when she misbehaves corner your husband and put pepper in his eyes

Agree.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Nobody: 4:23pm On Mar 12, 2009
...
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Pepeye(f): 6:15pm On Mar 12, 2009
Ironically mother in laws aren’t the issues dis days but sis in laws and bro in laws are the real pain in the neck
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by dae(f): 6:31pm On Mar 12, 2009
I guess we got to pray naa ni that we dont have a Monster as a mother-in-law. Thing is;- there's is that mother to son bond which NOONE can break. Husband will try to make mummy and his wife  happy. This is where the competition starts. Mom will say - My son loves me more, Wife will say my husband loves me more --- However, i am not saying this happens all the time, there are excpetional cases where mommy-in-law is really nice. But i guess its in the best interest of the dude to kind of know how he'll deal with mommy and wife @ the same time. The WORSE mistake any man can do is HAVING HIS MOM LIVE WITH HIM AND HIS WIFE IN THE SAME HOUSE. This can cause FIRE in the house occasionally, and in many cases, can lead to something traumatic happening. ALSO, if mother-in-law is nice, this is not always a gurantee that she actually does LIKE you(THE WIFE). As we know human beings, some laugh with you, but turn around and stab you in the back, which also goes with the saying that (YOUR BEST FRIEND COULD BE YOUR WORST ENEMY)

All we gatta do is pray that we dont get ourselves into such situation.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Outstrip(f): 6:40pm On Mar 12, 2009
Pepeye:

Ironically mother in laws aren’t the issues dis days but sis in laws and bro in laws are the real pain in the neck





I can understand mother in laws drama. I can put up with that to an extent but sister or brother in laws, hell no
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by riche007(m): 5:34pm On Mar 13, 2009
Chaircover, pls can you contact me?
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Nobody: 7:44pm On Mar 13, 2009
Outstrip:

Your mother in law will only go as far as her son lets her. So when she misbehaves corner your husband and put pepper in his eyes

Lol.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Nobody: 7:48pm On Mar 13, 2009
Is a dead mother-in-law the best one?

No! A living mother-in-law (my mother i mean) is best . . . whatever you do with ur own mother is your business. grin
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by SeanT21(f): 8:13pm On Mar 13, 2009
davidylan:

No! A living mother-in-law (my mother i mean) is best . . . whatever you do with ur own mother is your business. grin

Hahah~~LMAO
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by biina: 4:13am On Mar 14, 2009
Most women are less inclined to share the men in their lives (father, husband, children). Add the preconceptions both parties bring to the table, and the relationship is headed for a still birth.

Of course the actions of the son/husband would go a long way in letting each know their jurisdiction, which should rarely overlap.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by biina: 4:17am On Mar 14, 2009
tpia:

a responsible woman wont aim to become the kind of mother in law who interferes in her kid's lives all the time. If they need help of some sort (and ask for it) thats different.
I think a part of the problem comes from defining 'interference' and 'responsibility'. One party sees it as the former, while the other sees it as the latter.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Iranoladun(f): 2:26am On Mar 15, 2009
@binna I agree with you;there is a very thin line between responsibility and interference when it comes to mother in-law. Most mothers find it difficult to know where to draw the line, same with some men. The crucial point is the ability to draw a line between the two!
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Nobody: 11:40pm On Mar 15, 2009
Any man who always says "my mummy", "my mumsy", "my mum" instead of my mother is a mummy's pet and should be avoided like plague.
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by nich(m): 2:10am On Mar 16, 2009
michelin89:

Any man who always says "my mummy", "my mumsy", "my mum" instead of my mother is a mummy's pet and should be avoided like plague.

ehen? tongue

Your mother in law will only go as far as her son lets her. So when she misbehaves corner your husband and put pepper in his eyes

not so far from the truth. cool
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by biina: 7:44am On Mar 16, 2009
michelin89:

Any man who always says "my mummy", "my mumsy", "my mum" instead of my mother is a mummy's pet and should be avoided like plague.
and of course, any lady that says "my daddy", "my dad", "my pop", and/or "my popsie" instead of my father is a daddy's pet and should be avoided like pestilence
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by Rachaelfrancis(f): 10:07pm On Jun 13, 2015
haaaaa. my mother in law(outgoing) doesn't like me one bit..dis is because she tells her son all he shd be doing in de house and he does them and I don't agree..also de son beat me and she refused to caution the son,rather,she encouraged him..hmmm! na wa to some mother in laws..this man I am talking about is on nairaland,u all wanna know his name
Re: Relationship Between Wives and Mothers-In-Law by cococandy(f): 10:34pm On Jun 13, 2015
Rachaelfrancis:
haaaaa. my mother in law(outgoing) doesn't like me one bit..dis is because she tells her son all he shd be doing in de house and he does them and I don't agree..also de son beat me and she refused to caution the son,rather,she encouraged him..hmmm! na wa to some mother in laws..this man I am talking about is on nairaland,u all wanna know his name
hmm

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