|Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New|
Stats: 1,945,473 members, 4,030,274 topics. Date: Wednesday, 17 January 2018 at 08:07 AM
|Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Ayoomodaddy(f): 4:04pm On Sep 25, 2017|
Been a while here...
This is a my first shot at comedy , yeah! You heard it, Comedy!
I have the theme wrapped around my head but no words yet so please ya'll will give me time sha o, first update by tomorrow though and I'll probably update once a twice a week
Welcome aboard, I am Oloruntobi Ebunoluwa Ayomide and I will be your host, pilot, captain, driver... throughout this ride, remember, I love you all...
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Whiydhee(m): 4:19pm On Sep 25, 2017|
hy, we are all waiting
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Ayoomodaddy(f): 4:27pm On Sep 25, 2017|
Boyoosa, abefe99, MhiZDherbee, Bollie29, lanjum, Missmossy, Eniqurl, Dopeyomi, IZEGOLD, holufunmie, bummybummy, esthermotunray, akinmusi, spixytinxy, Vicoch, yommy20, Divepen1, xaviercasmir, Evajael, Guestposterfee, princessadeola, Treasurewamiri, Kwinolly, mhizgap, KimberlywesT, PamelB, Rachealfst, Lilyjoe567, SurestG, TiffanyJ, Petekeys6, Bibi294, Ozila, Marianneade, Angelsss, Reereespace, Kayo80, Onyenso100, Ademidun18, SlimBae, JaeSharp, bummybummy, Missmossy, piroux, Nmaglit, Juhann, Rapoo, charlesucheh, oluwafemi1993, swankmee, OlufemiWhit, queenDD, donteanz, aminubellosokoto, princ007, shegxi, Bibi294, Lildiamond, Maksol, Oyindawealth...
I hope I mentioned right o...
Welcome aboard once again...
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Toyin223(f): 4:40pm On Sep 25, 2017|
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Ayoomodaddy(f): 2:59pm On Sep 26, 2017|
IN THE BEGINNING…
“… then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all[b] the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.’”
“That was what God commanded then a boy was born…”
(A baby’s cry is heard in the background)
Gabriel: Yes LORD!
Almighty: Which angel is less busy at this moment?
Gabriel: LORD, most of us really occupied, may I know what you need an angel for?
Almighty: Well, a child has been born and he needs a guardian.
Gabriel: Wow! LORD, that is splendid news; I can be of help if…
Almighty: No, no, no and no Gabriel, you have so much on your hands already, there must be someone, what about angel B?
Gabriel: (looks alarmed, shocked, scared too) Angel B!
Almighty: Yes, what about her?
Gabriel: But LORD, you know she’s too impatient to be a guardian angel plus she’s never done this before, I- I-I- I don’t think she’s up for it.
Almighty: I AM THE LORD AND NONE COMPARES TO ME, I HAVE A PURPOSE FOR ANY DECISION I MAKE.
The Heavens shook and the earth vibrated the Almighty had spoken and HE had decided that Angel B would be the guardian angel of Akintomiwa Elijah Folorunsho.
Make una no vex say update short o...
Criticism is welcome, na learn I dey learn o but biko no matter what I write, abeg make una just laugh
6 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by kikiwendy(f): 3:22pm On Sep 26, 2017|
I'm following tho I didn't get a mention... Pls dedicate the next piece to me.
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Ayoomodaddy(f): 5:00pm On Sep 26, 2017|
Yes ma, welcome aboard
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Toyin223(f): 6:13pm On Sep 26, 2017|
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Hantonia(f): 6:28pm On Sep 26, 2017|
Grabs A Seat
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Ayoomodaddy(f): 1:19pm On Sep 28, 2017|
1. ANGEL B
Hello there, I am angel B, for some reason the other angels think I'm wayward, God forbids I am wayward, any wayward angel will actually be a demon with brother lucifer and I do not want that.
The other day, one yeye boy was born (The Almighty rasps from the background and the Heavens shake, other angels chastise angel B for her careless words.)
I am so sorry, no creation of God should be called 'yeye' because the Almighty took his time to create each and everyone of us.
Now back to my gist, the other day, one fine boy was born, his name; Folorunsho Akintomiwa Elijah, yes, that's his name and the Almighty in his graciousness chose me, I mean moi to be his guardian angel, that's the awesomest, coolest thing that has ever happened to me, not that I don't like what I've been doing before but this was the first time I was someone's guard well considering the fact that no immortal has ever nominated me for that that position and according to what I heard, bros Gabriel wasn't too happy when God chose me. Well, He did and I loved it, at first, I thought this mortal was the most annoying being I have ever had to encounter but in the end, we turned out to be best buddies as in ehn, Tomi na my padi, my main man, well, he still is, him never die, he's just thirty.
Now, you might be wondering why I am here and why I'm bothering you with this tale, well, FYI, I just want you to be prepared just in case the Almighty decides to favour you the way he did for Tomi, here is an expo, just little tips and tricks on how to behave and what to if you find yourself in such circumstances.
(Angel B sighs deeply)
Now, it all began one morning, when my God instructed me to make myself visible to my dear friend who was going astray and leaving God's path, I was weary at first but it turned out to be an eventful seven years of his life...
3 Likes 1 Share
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by kikiwendy(f): 4:48pm On Sep 28, 2017|
Ayoomodaddy:Thanks dear for the mention.. Hmmm this story sha make I just dey look
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Whiydhee(m): 11:56am On Sep 30, 2017|
wat a great story you got here!
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by CNARIOjoseph(m): 11:45am On Oct 01, 2017|
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by GreatCracker: 1:37pm On Oct 01, 2017|
ABEG MENTION ME FOR ANY UPDATE
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by bummybummy(f): 6:32am On Oct 03, 2017|
[quote author=Ayoomodaddy post=60820238]Boyoosa, abefe99, MhiZDherbee, Bollie29, lanjum, Missmossy, Eniqurl, Dopeyomi, IZEGOLD, holufunmie, bummybummy, esthermotunray, akinmusi, spixytinxy, Vicoch, yommy20, Divepen1, xaviercasmir, Evajael, Guestposterfee, princessadeola, Treasurewamiri, Kwinolly, mhizgap, KimberlywesT, PamelB, Rachealfst, Lilyjoe567, SurestG, TiffanyJ, Petekeys6, Bibi294, Ozila, Marianneade, Angelsss, Reereespace, Kayo80, Onyenso100, Ademidun18, SlimBae, JaeSharp, bummybummy, Missmossy, piroux, Nmaglit, Juhann, Rapoo, charlesucheh, oluwafemi1993, swankmee, OlufemiWhit, queenDD, donteanz, aminubellosokoto, princ007, shegxi, Bibi294, Lildiamond, Maksol, Oyindawealth...
I hope I mentioned right o...
Welcome aboard once again... tnx for d mention
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Ayoomodaddy(f): 1:21pm On Oct 03, 2017|
2. I SEE YOU
23 year old Tomiwa lay asleep, peacefully, on his bed, oblivious of the goings-on around him, angel B sat patiently at the foot of his bed, waiting for him to at least stir but he didn't, how could Tomiwa the great wake up so early on a Saturday morning, having drank himself to a standstill the previous night, he slept like a child.
Angel B was getting impatient with this mortal, she hadn't been briefed on her job description but she knew she couldn't shake him awake so she waited, after two heavenly hours, she just couldn't take it anymore so she decided to state her case with the Almighty.
Angel B: Baba God, I am tired o, this guy has not moved since now.
Almighty: Patience my dear, he'll wake up soon.
Angel B: How soon na, I am tired o.
Almighty: Look, he's awake.
Back on earth, Tomiwa stirred on his four-by-six bed, his mom had really taken her time to pick the best furniture for his apartment, angel B hissed. "Wake up jare sleepy head" she said with a scowl.
Tomiwa shook his head, he didn't remember bringing home the olosho he'd banged at the club, he was probably hearing things so he lay back on his pillow, grateful that his mom knew the right texture he loved.
"Ahahn, see this one o, wake up jare." angel B said again as the scowl on her heavenly face deepened. Tomiwa turned to look in the direction of the voice and what he literally made him jump out of his skin and off the bed in one swift move,
"Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhh!" He screamed and this was his undoing, angel B laughed so hard, the sound of her laughter being different from that of a mortal actually terrified Tomiwa, his skin became instantly pale.
"Calm down jare..." angel B said when she finally stopped laughing "...look at you, Tomi the great, Tee mighty, Akin tee for life bla bla bla are those not your nicknames, how I wish one of those girls you always pose for could see you now."
"P-pu-p-pl-pl-plea-plea-please ma, who, who a-a-a-are you?"
"Oh, sorry about that, I'm your guardian angel."
"Guard what, wait wait wait a minute, am I supposed to see an angel, am I supposed to be talking to an angel? Oh my God, I am dead, have you come to take me to heaven, my God, I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to my mom, LORD, NO! I can't die now, please, give me one more day, please let me at least leave a note for my family, where is my body, have they buried me, how come it's only my spirit that his talking to you, if I just died then my body should still be on the bed now, yeh! I am finished, please aunty angel when did I die, yeh! please how did I die, yeh! aye mi temi bami..." Tomiwa asked cried with free flowing tears.
"Look at you, so the great Akin is scared of death, if I say you are a fool now (ANGEL B!!! the Almighty thundered BE CAREFUL OF YOUR LANGUAGE) Lord, I am sorry but these mortals can be such a hand full. Now back to you and your ranting, you asked if I'm here to take you to heaven, you self look at your life since you went to study abroad and judge if you can enter heaven."
"I know, and I am sorry (sniff) please forgive me, Yeh! I don't want to go to hell fire, please o, for my mother's sake, please forgive me, my mom is a prayer warrior, she prays for me a lot, if I go to hell she'll see the vision and know, please I don't want to diaappoint her, please take me to heaven..." Tomiwa pleaded on his knees.
"Just shut up, my ear is already paining me because of this rubbish you're saying, anyways, your fear of death and hell has made you forget that you have a bad headache from your hangover..." Tomiwa touched his head and felt the pounding in it, so he wasn't dead afterall so who was this pretty yet scary woman and what was she doing, un-invited, in his room.
"My name is angel B, and like I said earlier, I am your guardian angel, the reason why you can see me is because God has need of you..."
Now Tomiwa could breathe, he heaved a sigh of relief and sat on his heel, somehow he didn't doubt this woman but he knew he still had to question her further but for now, he was glad that he was still alive, now he could think of all the plans he'd made for the night.
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Kimkardashain(f): 9:54pm On Oct 03, 2017|
great story, am here, despite nt bin mentioned bt u've got my support
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by kikiwendy(f): 10:50am On Oct 04, 2017|
Kimkardashain:welcome on board sis
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by donteanz(m): 10:37am On Oct 05, 2017|
[quote author=bummybummy post=61055119][/quote] i'm on board, ride on!
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Ayoomodaddy(f): 4:05pm On Oct 06, 2017|
KimKardashain, welcome aboard
3. READ MY MIND
"You can't be here" Tomiwa said protestingly to angel B, he was in the toilet to pee but he couldn't because angel B was staring at him.
Angel B clapped her hands thrice
"You are one ignorant mortal Elijah, I've been your guard since the moment you were born, I've been going everywhere and doing everythig with and for you and now you're shy to pee in my presence?" Angel B replied with a smirk.
"See, I'm not contesting the fact that you're my guard or that you know me but ah, ah, make yourself invicible till I'm done, at least that would make me feel better." Tomiwa argued
"Dear Elijah, that won't change anything, I can still see you." Tomiwa rolled his eyes.
"But I can't and it would make me feel less guilty."
"Oh, I see, you want to masturbate again abi..."
"Ssshhhhh! Ahahn, see the way you're shouting, somebody might hear you na." Tomiwa begged and angel laughed.
"Ehehn so you're not proud about it abi. Anyways, you're the only one that can hear me."
"Okay, now would you please be kind enough to be invicible?" and with that angel B became invicible giving Tomiwa some space.
As was his usual practice, Saturday afternoons were dedicated to the latest fish in the net, and because there was always a new fish every week, Tomiwa sat at a table in a fast food restaurant, pressing his phone. Now getting used to angel B's visibility, he felt relaxed waiting for the girl he'd met only two days ago, the plan was simple, make her feel comfortable, impress her, invite her over to his flat, take her to bed and she didn't respond positively, there was a plan B hidden somewhere in his head. He'd come an hour earlier than his appointment just in case he met another lady to scope. He was always lucky with girls and he just knew that his plans for the night just wouldn't go wrong but he was wrong on this beautiful Saturday afternoon.
"B..." Tomiwa called
"See that chick."
"Wetin do am."
"The girl fine die, I'm going to talk to her." Angel B smiled, her mischievous ward was at it again, he was just insatiable. She smiled again because the girl in question looked Tomiwa's way, part of her job description was to help Tomiwa quell his worldly ways, well it was her main target, so she decided to play a prank.
"You're staring indecently at that girl, I think you're making her blush." she said
"Really? You think so, this is one of the reasons why I love a female guardian angel." B rolled her eyes, Tomiwa was playing right into her hands.
"Yeah, I know a few tricks that would help you get her sharp sharp..." she continued.
"Ooooshey baddest angel ever liveth, oya ja mi si."
"First off, you'll keep staring at her while I'm talking and I'll do the rest." she said with a mischievous grin she was sure Tomiwa would mis-interprete.
At the table next to theirs, the young couple were stealing glances at Tomiwa, probably thinking he was nuts for talking to himself, angel B's plan was working, after a while, B told Tomiwa he could approach the girls' table and he did feeling cool with himself.
"Um, girls, I need to leave." The lady smiled and stood the moment Tomiwa opened his mouth to say 'hello'
"Hey, let me walk you, I just walked up here..."
"Abeg, abeg, abeg Mr man, just carry your madness away from this table or do you think I didn't see you talking and laughing to yourself or maybe the spirits that are following you? Abeg oga, na God I take beg you just carry yourself away." She said sternly without raising her voice, her friends all burst into laughter so did B. Tomiwa was about to shout a string of abusive words at B but realized that it would only make matters worse so he just smiled and stalked out of the restaurant, too angry with himself for allowing B fool him so much.
Have lovely weekend fam...
Remember, Ayomide loves you all
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Emmanuelskye: 7:33am On Oct 10, 2017|
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Coyotejack(m): 7:36am On Oct 10, 2017|
Please come and update, more grease to your elbow
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by marvin902(m): 8:14am On Oct 10, 2017|
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by kikiwendy(f): 8:57am On Oct 10, 2017|
Ayo we made it to FP pls comman and give us update
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Seunfunmi18(m): 9:32am On Oct 10, 2017|
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by Eniqurl(f): 9:56am On Oct 10, 2017|
Lol the last update got me
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by itsandi(m): 10:04am On Oct 10, 2017|
Nice story...Enjoy other cool stories on Tushstories via
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by DiegoNakel(m): 10:06am On Oct 10, 2017|
O sha proper
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by mdee1(m): 12:27pm On Oct 10, 2017|
Have you submitted your entries yet? Don't wait till the last minute! Enter & compete with other authors to win big at the #Imbubefestival
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by GreatCracker: 7:46pm On Oct 10, 2017|
first of all, thanks for the mention
secondly.....i will like to confess the fact that as young as your works are, it's showing a lot of promise i just hope you keep it up
thirdly....don't you think it will be cool if you can just be my own guardian angel both spiritually, physically and onlinelly(digitally) if there's any word like that.
loving you and your works already ....
expecting more and frequent updates from you
over and out
|Re: Memoir Of A Lagos Mainland Angel by daymeelarday(m): 7:17pm On Oct 11, 2017|
Interesting piece so far. Waiting patiently for the next update.
|Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health |
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket
Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2018 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 154