Voice: My name is Engineer Emeka Patrick, the father to Alice Patrick, one of your students
Olu: Good afternoon Sir, How has been your day sir.
Mr Patrick: Very fine my brother. My daughter said…
(Olu in his mind: Mo daran, temi bami oooo)
Mr Patrick: She said you’re her usual customer and then I discovered she’s doing well in your subjects. Thank you so much my brother. God bless you.
Olu: You know what sir; this world can be a better place if everyone is like me
Mr Patrick: Hmmmmm
Olu: I make sure I do what I am supposed to do as if everybody is my brother. And I know only God can reward me; so no need to thank me sir. Thank God your daughter met me, because I was planning to change job, they begged me to stay. Everyone wants me to work with me.
Mr Patrick: Heeey! Thank God for my daughter o. Alice has a big star; she’s my only daughter and a lucky child. God bless you my brother.
Olu: That’s ok Sir, I will give her some money to give you for appreciating my effort.
Mr Patrick: ehn! My brother. God will bless you. God will make you big. Your wife will not suffer, your parent will not suffer, you will not suffer, you will…
Olu: Amen, that’s ok sir. Just always make sure she doesn’t miss her coaching classes.
Mr Patrick: She won’t. So I will be expecting that one. Thank you. Did you hear me, ok , that one I prayed for. My family is thanking you o
Olu: Ok sir
(Call drops)
Olu: mehn, that was close. (Song: What a mighty God, we serve…). He has promised, he will never fail…
It is well.
MR PATRICK’S APARTMENT
Mr Patrick: Nna, I just spoke with Alice teacher in school, he said he’ll send me something o. We thank God o. This man is our God sent ooo



Mrs Patrick: My dear, you and money. We should know this teacher oo. I am saying my own o. I am not ok with my daughter and this man o. Today 200 naira vegetable, tomorrow 500 naira vegetable. The man na goat. We should know him o.
Mr Patrick: Shut up my friend. Don’t call my brother a goat. He’ll send money to us soon; a goat won’t do that.
Mrs Patrick: Ok o. How much will you give me tomorrow, you know I’ll be spending one week over there with Aunty Amaka.
Mr Patrick: Oh! You can ask for money; you see, go to the backyard. Go and open the mouth of our only goat and take money now.
Mrs Patrick: Whatever… you will sha give me something.
Mr Patrick: have heard you, please go before you fart again…
ALICE AND HER FRIEND AT THE BACKYARD
Friend: Why are you looking like that
Alice: Am tired Grace
Grace: What have we done that you’re tired. Look at the remaining beans.
Alice: I know, I don’t know, I will just be tired and spitting. I think I have fever.
Grace: Spitting keh, are you sure it is not what it is
Alice: I don’t know oo, leave me alone
Grace: Ok o. Madam spit
ODUN’S APARTMENT
Kemi: Guess what?
Odun: You know have sense
Kemi: You’re mad
Odun: Oya oo. I cannot guess.
Kemi: That your Behind for nothing BF, I was with him last week
Odun: Ehn ehn, so you have taken the baton from me.
Kemi: Baton ko. Emi ko la abi (Do I have tribal marks)
Odun: iya e (your mother)
Kemi: Can you imagine he has a child. My step-brother’s wife has a child for him. And that useless guy is still staring at us in church.
Odun: You mean he is now one of your relatives
Kemi: You’re stupid. Who him relative epp
Odun: I once dated an idiot, now I have his relative as friend. Mo ro go


Kemi: Mtchewwww… Come and look at his apartment. So dirty and local and he steps out Behind with a borrowed car. Ha, mo daran, we ladies have suffered. I was just in the car jejely looking at the drama. I thought boys will pounce on him, I should quickly cover it and upload it on @Instablog9ja. Na God save your yeye BF.
Odun: Ehn ehn. O ti to e bayi (it’s ok)
Kemi: Ni bo lo moju lo na, ni gba ton shagbere kiri
(Odun chases Kemi downstairs)

OLU VISITING BAYO’S FAMILY
(Olu knocking the gate)
Gateman: I dey come o
(Gateman opens the small gate)
Gateman: Oga, you still come borrow my oga jeep after him don die?
Olu: You’re stupid. Idiot. So you can now talk to me anyhow bah. I will pounce on you later. I just pray you’re in Bayo’s will. Your life don finish be that.
(A lady approaching)
Lady: Any problem
Olu: It’s me, aunty Ronke
Ronke: Ooh Olu, thank you for coming. How are you?
Olu: Trying to stay alive too o. His death is just too much on me.
Ronke: pele dear
(Both hugged)
Ronke: I need to get some foodstuff at the mall. I’ll be right back.
(Ronke left)
(Olu still wandering about in the compound)
Olu: Hi dear (referring to a lady passing by)
Lady: Hello
Olu: Hi, I am Olu, I’d love to meet you too
Lady: I am Ngozi, a student of Uniben
(Olu in his mind: Osheeeey, omo ni yen. Parole made simple)
Olu: That’s cool. I actually finished from Oxford University in Malaysia; am based there. I am just here for the summer break.
Ngozi: wow! No problem, I hope you will carry me along with your enjoyment
Olu: No problem.
(Two elderly men talking behind them)
Man 1: … So I will back shortly, I need to report to the barrack now.
Man 2: Alright, I’ll be expecting you.
(Olu faces the other direction)
Olu: Jesu, Jesu, Jesu; if you can save me from this one. I’ll never toast any girl again.
Ngozi: Hello, what’s wrong?
Olu: Shiiii ( for her to keep quiet)
Gen. Leye: Hello young man over there, can you please help me with my bag to the car…
(to be continued…)

olumide54 I thought you will never update again.. almost lost interest...