I had a girl who I idolised and wanted to be just like her. She was gorgeous, intelligent, well behaved and so on. She is a few years older than me, so I always admired her from afar. I always sang her praises and I just wanted to be like her.

I one day plucked up the courage to message her on Facebook, I told her congrats for graduating university and I sent her a friend request.
After a long time of waiting my request was DECLINED and message ignored.

I was confused, so I added her again.

After a long time of waiting my request was again DECLINED.

I was confused, I did not have a profile picture at the time but we had mutual friends, and to be fair she did not really know me we spoke a few times at a party as we went in a group, and my mother gave her a lift home.. but still if you have mutual friends with someone and they add you twice, and send you a congratulations message surely you will reply or something? Or maybe not, it’s not by force.

I moved on with my life.

A few years later she got married and her mother wanted me and a whole lot of other girls to be one of her traditional bridesmaids. She introduced me to her daughter (the girl I am talking about), and her daughter was really friendly and smiling and wanted to hug me but I did not go in for the hug so it was a bit awkward ... The reason I acted how I did was because I was like, why am going to hug you when you can not even accept my friend request or reply to my message. My mother asked her if she knew me, and she said yes.

Nonetheless, after reflection I was like let me give her the benefit of the doubt and I was friendly etc there after.

The next time I saw her was at her wedding, she seemed so so stuck up. The people (us black girls) she did not acknowledge us at all, whereas all her white friends she was so loving towards. She is also marrying a white man. She also seemed kind off like she did not like me by the glances she gave me.

I later sent her another message a few weeks later saying "hello Mrs [insert new surname here], how are you"

She made her facebook so I could not add her (the add friend button had suddenly gone!) and she replied 'All is well. You?' and I replied 'all is well’.. she did not reply again. Is that not rude, no THANK YOU for taking the day of work to be a traditional bridesmaid at her wedding, no furthering the conversation - she sounded so blunt.

I did not message her again after that, nor did I attempt to add her on Facebook.

After, I discovered her mother had blocked me on WhatsApp! I cannot think of what I did, at all.

2 years later, my mother died (her mother and my mother) were good friends and she (the girl I am talking about) had been through something similar- as her dad died a few years ago, I just reached out to her that is all, telling her that my mother had died and she saw the message but did not reply.

How can someone hate me so much? Someone I literally idolised.

Their whole family make me feel uncomfortable, I saw their mother at church the other day. She asked me how I am, how I am coping and I said I’m fine etc, but she had a weird look on her face. And then she asked me whether my dad had gone back to work, and whether I had gone back to school.(personal questions)

What should I do? The thing that made my mental health bad was my relationship with myself and with others, I don’t want to go into 2018 with bad relationships.

You idolize her a lot and want to associate with her at all cost, why attach so much important to her, does she feed you? Does she add anything to your life? why rate her so high? you shouldn't rate people so high cos this is what you get when you do.

You can't force her to be your friend or talk to you, have some self respect and be a snub too. The very moment she started snubbing you, you should have snubbed back.

There is nothing wrong with going into 2018 with bad relationships, there are people that I have bad relationship with and am going into 2018 with it cos I don't give a bloody damn about it. They all can go fucck themselves.

Such is life dear, don't think about it, you have to harden your heart towards people sometimes and know that everybody can't be your friends, even Jesus had enemies.

Life goes on.

But where is lalasticlala sef