I feel bad because someone very close to me died.

The person was a nice person, and was supported all throughout her illness by friends and family - however, a few friends and family who she was there for was not there for her during her illness. I always believed that we shame those bad people when she gets healing, however she died.

I feel bitter and angry about this.

Can you give me advice please?

Thank you.

You need to brace yourself, not everything always work as planned. God knows best

Friend you just might find this helpful



friend just died. I don't know what to
do. "


The rest of the post has been deleted,
only the title remains. However, the
helpful responses live on, and one of
them was absolutely incredible. The reply
by this self-titled "old guy" might just
change the way you approach life and
death.


I'm old. What that means is that I've
survived (so far) and a lot of people I've
known and loved did not.
I've lost friends, best friends,
acquaintances, co-workers,
grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers,
mentors, students, neighbors, and a host
of other folks. I have no children, and I
can't imagine the pain it must be to lose
a child. But here's my two cents...
I wish I could say you get used to people
dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It
tears a hole through me whenever
somebody I love dies, no matter the
circumstances. But I don't want it to "not
matter". I don't want it to be something
that just passes. My scars are a
testament to the love and the relationship
that I had for and with that person. And if
the scar is deep, so was the love. So be
it.

Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a
testament that I can love deeply and live
deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and
that I can heal and continue to live and
continue to love. And the scar tissue is
stronger than the original flesh ever was.
Scars are a testament to life. Scars are
only ugly to people who can't see.


As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves.
When the ship is first wrecked, you're
drowning, with wreckage all around you.
Everything floating around you reminds
you of the beauty and the magnificence
of the ship that was, and is no more. And
all you can do is float. You find some
piece of the wreckage and you hang on
for a while. Maybe it's some physical
thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a
photograph. Maybe it's a person who is
also floating. For a while, all you can do
is float. Stay alive.

In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet
tall and crash over you without mercy.
They come 10 seconds apart and don't
even give you time to catch your breath.
All you can do is hang on and float. After
a while, maybe weeks, maybe months,
you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall,
but they come further apart. When they
come, they still crash all over you and
wipe you out. But in between, you can
breathe, you can function. You never
know what's going to trigger the grief. It
might be a song, a picture, a street
intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee.
It can be just about anything...and the
wave comes crashing. But in between
waves, there is life.

Somewhere down the line, and it's
different for everybody, you find that the
waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall.
And while they still come, they come
further apart. You can see them coming.
An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas,
or landing at O'Hare. You can see it
coming, for the most part, and prepare
yourself. And when it washes over you,
you know that somehow you will, again,
come out the other side. Soaking wet,
sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny
piece of the wreckage, but you'll come
out.


Take it from an old guy. The waves never
stop coming, and somehow you don't
really want them to. But you learn that
you'll survive them. And other waves will
come. And you'll survive them too.
If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars
from lots of loves. And lots of
shipwrecks.

Life goes on.. My only advice...

Experiences has taught me that there's no better time to lose a loved one... even if she was 100, You will still wished that she stays longer because she meant the world to you...

Just take heart, The most important thing was that u stayed by her side all through at the hour of her needs...