Nairalanders please advice me. A friend of my husband came visiting for no reason and just feels like taking over my house! what do i do? He interrupts my hubby and i just when he sees we are talking' wants to be involved with our family details and i was shocked today, my hubby forgot his phone and i intended keeping it in my custody but d good friend insisted on keeping it for him and he was receiving his calls!! am so choked! cant wait for him to go! how do i tolerate dis kind of people?

my dear, some hubby's friends can be a pain in the head and what angers me most is that your hubby cant go and do same in the friends house.well what you have to do is to talk to your hubby and let him know about all your annoyance towards his friend.secondly, you have to be firm in your home cos it seems like you are a very quiet person,so you end up keeping mute to all his mischief right from the beginning.pls let your husband know

where's your husband?

Did you give him the phone? If you did then he is doing it because you told him he can act like that in your house. Most times husbands do not notice things like this. When he interrupts you when you are with your husband and your husband lets it slide you better tell your visitor to excuse you and drag your husband out of the room to let him know that you will not accept that. How long is this visitor staying by the way

Datz d funny part! He comes when he chooses, sometimes i just get home 2 find him and he does not say how long he is staying. i dont just want my husband to think am nagging, i think iv tried, i naturally cant stand visitors for too long! i get choked. What do i tell my husband?

it is your home as well. sit down and tell you hubby his friend has overstept himself and that it must change if he doesnt bar him from your home untill his manners return. if he feels compeled to involve himself in your house and issues he has to pay his share of the bills or learn to respect personal boundries

People can only take over your home and your life if you let them.
Not in my house! Such things do not happen to me. I will nip it in the bud one time!

treat him like you would treat your own friends
interrupting ANYONE's conversation is RUDE. moreso a married couple's. when he interrupts your discussion, tell him politely - "could you give us a few minutes to finish our conversation? he'll be with you soon"

your husband forgets his phone?
friend: give me John's phone, let me hold me hold it for him.
you: 'may i have my husband's phone please?' or 'i can hold my husband's phone; it's not a bother but thank you very much'. (note that u keep using the word husband, not his name, and hopefully he'll take a hint)

as per the unwarranted visits and wanting to know personal details, let your husband know that it is suspicious behaviour. it makes you feel exposed and puts you under pressure. it's choking you. if he does nothing, ask him if he does the same in mr friend's house, and ask him to tell his friend to accord you both the same respect.

pests!!

Thanks to you all.

no friend of my husband should berra try dat wit me. It's ur house , talk to ur husband to tell his friend to respect himself

Better check it now before it becomes too late. I was in those shoes b4 until I  recently stood my ground. There was this guy from the same village with my husband who almost completely took over my home and my husband would always wave it aside when I bring up the issue. He will not just mind his business, always poke-nosing in our affairs

Infact I can't begin to narrate what this guy have been doing, he likes to compete with us for nothing. Anytime he sees us do something he will go and do the same, when we were planning our wedding he hurriedly wedded, when my husband told him about  the land we bought he quickly bought and started laying a foundation, when we moved to a bigger apartment he too moved, he visited us and saw DSTV he went to buy, we bought a big car he too changed his car etc I don tire. I really didnt have any problem with that But He was practically the one running things in my home, he went as far as using  my sister-in-law as a spy and cause problem in the house and encourage to call village people and report, he would come and start running his mouth about bad ‘wives’ whereas no talks about his own. how he will not tolerate this and that from a woman. it got so bad that I had to give it back to him when his cup was full. I asked him if we interfere in his marriage and that he should leave us alone and face his family that we are matured enough to run our home. Since then the guy has not step foot in our house, b4 now he use to visit almost every day cos we live in the same area, now I have my space. My husband knew what he was doing was wrong but couldn’t just confront him and when I did, he kind of  liked it.

Good riddance to bad rubbish