(Base on true life experience and unbiased research .. Timilehin Adesanya)

For five years now, in my non-profit side work as a business coach, I helped clients, friends identify their existing talents, skills and support systems. Then we’d figure out how to address their struggles by expanding on their existing strengths. For much of my career, I felt like this positive plan of attack was an effective way to help people overcome adversity.

But when I experienced tragedy firsthand, I began to rethink this optimistic method. In 2013 I almost died unexpectedly, I was in coma for months (severe heart palpitation).  Four months later, I regain balance. .  . (whispering ..divine intervention).

Throughout my pains, I realized that focusing on my strengths—and ignoring my weaknesses—had serious limitations. If I wanted to emerge from that painful period stronger than before, I needed to pay close attention to the bad habits that held me back. Letting myself feel like a victim, complaining about my circumstances and distracting myself from the pain might help me feel better in the short term but would only cause more problems over the long term.

My hardships taught me that it only takes one or two bad habits—no matter how minor they might seem—to stall progress.

Reaching your greatest potential doesn’t require you to work harder by adding desirable habits to your already busy life. Instead you can work smarter by eliminating the routines that erode effectiveness and siphon off mental strength.

Here are the 5 things  strong people don’t do:

1. Shy away from change.

If you worry that change will make things worse, you’ll stay stuck in your old ways. The world is changing, and your success depends on your ability to adapt.

The more you practice tolerating distress from various sources—perhaps taking a new job or leaving an unhealthy relationship—the more confident you’ll become in your ability to adapt and create positive change in yourself.

I took strong courage to switch from I wanted to become to what I am now, computer guy. Believe me, with time, the decision will worth it.

2.  Squander energy on things they can’t control.
Complaining, worrying and wishful thinking don’t solve problems; they only waste your energy. But if you invest that same energy in the things you can control, you’ll be much better prepared for whatever life throws your way.

Pay attention to the times when you’re tempted to worry about things you can’t control—such as the choices other people make or how your competitor behaves—and devote that energy to something more productive, such as finishing a project at work or home or helping a friend with hers.

Accept situations that are beyond your control and focus on influencing, rather than controlling, people around you.

When you should let go of things you can't control you would probably ask? I think the answer is clear enough.

Don't waste time doing same thing repeatedly with no results, you may still aim at same thing but do it in a different way next time.

3.  Worry about pleasing everyone.

You’re nervous that your father-in-law will criticize your latest endeavor or you attend an event you’d rather skip to avoid a guilt trip from your mother, trying to make other people happy drains your mental strength and causes you to lose sight of your goals.

Making choices that disappoint or upset others takes courage, but living an authentic life requires you to act according to your values. Write down your top five values and focus your energy on staying true to them, even when your choices aren’t met with favor.
Learn how to stop being people pleaser �

4. Fear taking risks.

If something seems scary, you might not take the risk, even a small one. On the contrary, if you’re excited about a new opportunity, you may overlook a giant risk and forge ahead.

Emotions cloud your judgment and interfere with your ability to accurately calculate risk. You can’t become extraordinary without taking chances, but a successful outcome depends on your ability to take the right risks.

Acknowledge how you’re feeling about a certain risk and recognize how your emotions influence your thoughts. Create a list of the pros and cons of taking the risk to help you make a decision based on a balance of emotion and logic.

Learn Workable Ways to Fight Fear in 2018.

5.   Feel the world owes them something.

We like to think that if we put in enough hard work or tough it out through bad times, then we deserve success. But waiting for the world to give you what you think you’re owed isn’t a productive life strategy.

Take notice of times when you feel as though you deserve something better. Intentionally focus on all that you have to give rather than what you think you deserve. Regardless of whether you think you’ve been dealt a fair hand in life, you have gifts to share with others.

Written by Timilehin Adesanya ( The Codeprenuer)