I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First - Family - Nairaland
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| I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by keacy(m): 4:27pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
I'm getting frustrated with the condition my father is giving me before I finally settle down. I will be 34 years this 2018 and would have married (with 2 or 3 kids by now) since but my dad gave the excuse that he didn't like the girl. I am the first son of 5 children, I am paying the school fees of the last child who is in med school. I have found me a wife whom I have planned getting married to by April. Now my dad is insisting that since we don't have a home in the village that I should build one before getting married else he won't come for my wedding and will disown me. I have already told him that I will build after my wedding but he refused. What should I do? Going ahead with this building will make me call-off my wedding till December or Next year. What should I do My People I need Expert Advice on this. 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by LivinaPatrick(f): 4:34pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Your father wants to delay your destiny,you'll just be watching your younger ones will over take you. 192 Likes 7 Shares |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by MhizzAJ(f): 4:34pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
I don't know why some parents like giving their children some kind of conditions before marriage Just take your time before making any decision 30 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by coolestofall(m): 4:37pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Thats a wise advice 4rm ur dad, which wld make sense 4 u 2 follow. I c no reason y u cn't do both, except u r planning 2 do a celebrity status wedding ceremony. 52 Likes 6 Shares |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 4:46pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
At 33 your pupcy still they dictate for you wetin you go do? How many houses has he built in his lifetime to warrant all these pressure? These our parents eh. I would suggest you turn the tables on him on this one. Threaten to disown him yourself if he dare fails to attend your wedding or give his blessings. Him think say to build house for this current dispensation na beans. 326 Likes 16 Shares |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 4:47pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Which December are you talking about? This story is copied 2 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by OfficialAwol(m): 4:55pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
But for a respect for you, I'd have said your father is a stupid man. Is he not the one who was supposed to build a house in the village before he married your mother? Building in the village is not an investment, but an act to impress those who do not matter at all. My advice to you is this, get yourself a wife, then take your time, one block at a time, to build in the village. After all, it's a house that would be inhabited by cobwebs. Try to talk sense into the old man. If he refuses, let him be 164 Likes 8 Shares |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by JONNYSPUTE(m): 4:59pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Your father is right. After your traditional wedding,where will u sleep with ur wife? In a hotel I guess? Look Mr man,your father knows you re capable of putting up even if its a 3 bedroom bungalow in your village. What that old man is seeing sitting,you can't see it even if you re on top of an iroko tree. Do as he said Nd you will thank him later. 22 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by dominique(f): 4:59pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Why can't he build house in the village and train his own children? African parents are fond of pushing their responsibilities on their children which is totally unfair. Op, it's better you do his bidding if you can afford it before getting married otherwise your wife will face a lot of resentment when she marries into your family. 34 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by 234GT(m): 5:05pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Building a home in this current economy no be beans o. Pls disown your father and marry your girl. People don't even value what they have. You have a girl and someone is telling you to build a house. Na one day dem dey take build house? Maybe you work with Shell sha. 18 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by mankettle(m): 5:13pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Relax. Patience is key. Your old man wants you to have a house before you marry. Buy land where you are based. Show him the documents. Tell him you will build on that land within a certain timeframe. If your old man still insists on the village house. Report him to other elders in the family. He will calm down 10 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by eyinjuege: 5:28pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Na wah o. Why didnt he build the house in the village himself? You are already training one of his responsibilities. 14 Likes 2 Shares |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by eyinjuege: 5:29pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
eyinjuege: 2 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by crackhaus: 6:06pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
I think this actually depends on your financial standing. If you can build the house and still get married without straining your finances, go for it. If you can only do one, then do the one you believe is most important to your life at the moment. The truth is you can always build a house and you can always get married. What you need most between the two alternatives right now is what should direct you. 3 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by tuscani: 6:22pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
So the best thing is to bring your father to nairaland for bashing, abi 3 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 7:11pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
CorGier: Ma nigga  12 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 9:41pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Did he build one in his village before he married your mum? If you can afford it, you can force his hand by raising the building to lintel or window level, get married and continue after the wedding. 8 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by armyofone(m): 11:00pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
Very selfish of him seeing that you are helping him take care of his responsibility of assisting your brother. Village house that they will fight you for at the end of the day. Face your life and don't live anyone's dream but your own. You've found the woman after your heart, that is more important than a house you won't live in. As long as they have a roof over their heads where they are, village house is of a very minimal use. If ever you think of building one, make sure it is in your name and not his name. 20 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Collins4u1(m): 11:11pm On Dec 31, 2017 |
He was busy training you guys and probably didn't build a house for himself. Build a house now while you still have less expenses at your disposal. wise advise from your dad.. 8 Likes 1 Share |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 2:39am On Jan 01, 2018 |
i thank God for d type of parents i have even though dey have their short comings 1 Like |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by keacy(m): 10:36am On Jan 01, 2018 |
Thank you guys.` your opinions means a lot for me. |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 11:13am On Jan 01, 2018 |
Some parents sef  My late dad built 3 houses, four blocks of flats in his town on one plot of land and two bungalows another plot in his village. My late mum built three bungalows in a plot in Lagos. None disturbed us, for such responsibility. May their souls rest in peace. Amen. Op do the needful and get married. If he wants to disown u, he can go ahead. 11 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by ImaIma1(f): 12:04pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
Your father didn't build the house himself and he is pushing that responsibility on you and even using a strong arm to make you do it. I think you should ask him why he didn't build the house before he got married and why you have to do it now. You are a man...an adult. Dad cannot dictate your life. Who is dictating his life? 7 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by earthsync(f): 12:53pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
you're an adult and your father shouldn't dictate how you live your life. 5 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Samogbo1(m): 10:13pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
G |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by emeijeh(m): 10:14pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
Your old man is not helping you at all. Tell him I said so 2 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by oshe111(m): 10:14pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
Is it advisable for someone with AS to get married to a girl with AS  |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Stegomiah: 10:15pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
I'm sorry to say.... But i can't date you or your type.... Cos you ain't a man yet You need to man up You are 34 years old and you still allow your father to treat you like a kid Maybe your wifey will do worse..... Since you can't take your stand yet He's your father... That status won't change regardless what you do or don't do..... But you also gonna be a father someday.... You gotta start thinking what's best for you and start acting.... If not you will just serve him like Jacob did laban.... Maybe when you are 40 and when the love of your life is done being a nursing mother to someone else.. You will wake up or man up. 22 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Alariiwo: 10:15pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
Your father doesn't wish you well.. He is lucky Africans still regard their aged ones. Na home he for dey if na yankee. Let him know you're getting old 3 Likes |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by Nobody: 10:15pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
Your dad is right. Where will you take your wife to? A forest? 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by koolgee(m): 10:16pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
Hmmmm  |
| Re: I'm Ready To Get Married But My Father Wants Me To Build First by phlame(m): 10:16pm On Jan 01, 2018 |
Ask him where he was when his mates were building houses in the Village 5 Likes |
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