BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH

Silence.......

The very great number of divorce we are recording in the Ummah after two to three weeks of marriage is saddening.

I am tired. I am just weak. It is all about the craze of virginity. We all have the misconception that if a woman does not bleed she is not a Virgin. And this misconception does not come from Islam, it is from culture imported into Islam. More often than not it has been proven that most times sisters bleed during the first night, it is due to excessive excitement of the new husband which leads to rough handling and later to bleeding of the sister. Brothers please be gentle with her, please, show some kindness and I promise she will most likely never bleed.

Well, most people don't know, but I am a young counsellor, by ALLAH the number of cases of sisters dealing with depression because of the issue of virginity is highly alarming. They will cry, they will swear, they will call people to witness their chastity but *no* the husband will roar and divorce her after a month or two of traumatic marriage, the man will say: "Liar!, Promiscuous fellow, how can you claim to be a virgin when you didn't bleed last night" They will maltreat this sister even though she is pregnant after the that one time, they will deny the pregnancy, and the sister will carry a baby for the first time in her life with tremendous depression, some times this leads to mental health instability, and these sisters will have to be referred to Psychiatric facilities all because of the ignorance of she must bleed during the first night.

Yesterday, I shared the post of a senior colleague in the counseling world, she is also dealing with countless of cases of chaste sisters branded as fornicators. Umm Habeebah Aisha Hussein, she explains:
"The hymen is a membrane that sorrounds or partially covers the external virginal opening.
Normal variations of the hymen range from
**1 Thin and stretchy.
**2 Thick and somewhat rigid.
**3 Or completely absent.
Men should note the third type "completely absent"!
The hymen, virginity, could be stretched to tear as a result of..
**Lacerated by disease
**injury,
**medical examination
**Masturbation.
**Physical exercises.
**Horse Racing or riding
**Motor bike(okada) ride.
The state of the hymen is not a conclusive indicator of virginity."

After reading this alot of brothers do ask: "So, how will I know if she doesn't truly have hymen or she is a lying fornicator" there is NO way to ever know if a sister is truthful if she says "I am a virgin" just like there is no true way to know if a man claims that he is a "virgin"

Some men rough handle the sister so much that she looses consciousness during the first night and hence she will bleed and they will smile, thinking "she is a virgin"

How many brutal divorce are we going to record, because of the lack of knowledge? Brothers you tell sisters, "By ALLAH, I am a virgin" and sisters believe you with all all their hearts with no iota of doubt but a sister told you "By ALLAH, I am a virgin" and you feel like you must "test" her. WALLAHI, Shaytan is waging war against us in this Ummah, imagine the pain of being accused of being a fornicator while all you have done in your life in keeping yourself chaste.

Some sisters are so mentally broken that they resent the idea of marriage after that dreadful experience. Some sisters will be asked to just confess. How will she confess to a crime she never commits?

To sisters who have experienced such brutal divorce in recent times, know that ALLAH is your comforter, and the man who has broken you mentally will answer to Allah on Yaomal qiyama on the offense of accusing a chaste woman of fornication. That is no small sin in the sight of ALLAH. And on that day, you will be victorious.

May ALLAH rectify us in this Ummah, I am just tired honestly.

© HAMIDAH BINT ABBAS
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

Fb page: https://mobile.facebook.com/hamidahbintabbas/?v=feed&_rdr

Nicely written.

9geria:
BismiLLAH AlhamduliLLAH

Silence.......

The very great number of divorce we are recording in the Ummah after two to three weeks of marriage is saddening.

I am tired. I am just weak. It is all about the craze of virginity. We all have the misconception that if a woman does not bleed she is not a Virgin. And this misconception does not come from Islam, it is from culture imported into Islam. More often than not it has been proven that most times sisters bleed during the first night, it is due to excessive excitement of the new husband which leads to rough handling and later to bleeding of the sister. Brothers please be gentle with her, please, show some kindness and I promise she will most likely never bleed.

Well, most people don't know, but I am a young counsellor, by ALLAH the number of cases of sisters dealing with depression because of the issue of virginity is highly alarming. They will cry, they will swear, they will call people to witness their chastity but *no* the husband will roar and divorce her after a month or two of traumatic marriage, the man will say: "Liar!, Promiscuous fellow, how can you claim to be a virgin when you didn't bleed last night" They will maltreat this sister even though she is pregnant after the that one time, they will deny the pregnancy, and the sister will carry a baby for the first time in her life with tremendous depression, some times this leads to mental health instability, and these sisters will have to be referred to Psychiatric facilities all because of the ignorance of she must bleed during the first night.

Yesterday, I shared the post of a senior colleague in the counseling world, she is also dealing with countless of cases of chaste sisters branded as fornicators. Umm Habeebah Aisha Hussein, she explains:
"The hymen is a membrane that sorrounds or partially covers the external virginal opening.
Normal variations of the hymen range from
**1 Thin and stretchy.
**2 Thick and somewhat rigid.
**3 Or completely absent.
Men should note the third type "completely absent"!
The hymen, virginity, could be stretched to tear as a result of..
**Lacerated by disease
**injury,
**medical examination
**Masturbation.
**Physical exercises.
**Horse Racing or riding
**Motor bike(okada) ride.
The state of the hymen is not a conclusive indicator of virginity."

After reading this alot of brothers do ask: "So, how will I know if she doesn't truly have hymen or she is a lying fornicator" there is NO way to ever know if a sister is truthful if she says "I am a virgin" just like there is no true way to know if a man claims that he is a "virgin"

Some men rough handle the sister so much that she looses consciousness during the first night and hence she will bleed and they will smile, thinking "she is a virgin"

How many brutal divorce are we going to record, because of the lack of knowledge? Brothers you tell sisters, "By ALLAH, I am a virgin" and sisters believe you with all all their hearts with no iota of doubt but a sister told you "By ALLAH, I am a virgin" and you feel like you must "test" her. WALLAHI, Shaytan is waging war against us in this Ummah, imagine the pain of being accused of being a fornicator while all you have done in your life in keeping yourself chaste.

Some sisters are so mentally broken that they resent the idea of marriage after that dreadful experience. Some sisters will be asked to just confess. How will she confess to a crime she never commits?

To sisters who have experienced such brutal divorce in recent times, know that ALLAH is your comforter, and the man who has broken you mentally will answer to Allah on Yaomal qiyama on the offense of accusing a chaste woman of fornication. That is no small sin in the sight of ALLAH. And on that day, you will be victorious.

May ALLAH rectify us in this Ummah, I am just tired honestly.

© HAMIDAH BINT ABBAS
@ hamidahbintabbas.com

Fb page: https://mobile.facebook.com/hamidahbintabbas/?v=feed&_rdr

Honestly this is a problem and more hummiliating when divorced over it