This is my first story.
I'm a teenager trying to discover my writing skills. so i put this up here to see how far i can go.
I'm also expecting criticism that'll help build me up.
I've been reading stories here for more than a year and i'm must confess i'm really excited and impressed by the content here.
please do well as to support.


my first update drops soon

u never even start u dun dey delay d post....

okpara007:
u never even start u dun dey delay d post....

Abi ooo

My eyes shot open at exactly 11:45 am, and all they could form was the mazed image of my ceiling material. I wondered why they looked so woven this particular morning. I remembered when they were fixed in last year, i strongly disagreed because of its optically illusive nature, but MumC said she loved it , 'Who am i to take a haction?'.

i could hear the could hear a woman yelling something about calling her sons to beat someone up if he touches the wire. ah who else could that be na, na MumC of course. She's probably pissed with the NEPA guy on our pole already.

Toh!.. All these ones no concern me..

What mattered most to me was the fact that it was a saturday(best day ever) , and my body is still trying to recover from the bone breaking night vigil i attended last night, and my mind was still settling from the shock of finding myself on the altar, when i could vividly remember sitting on the drums.
Everything was just so confusing,my body hurt so bad like i was beaten by a mob, yet not a single scratch was on my skin..

I took a deep breath. A long sigh of relief .
I wished to get up, but my body couldn't lift me.
I lay back down and began thinking about my life..

It was a subconscious reflex i could not control, and these stream of thoughts came flowing in.

''who am I?''. .

to be frank that question, i can't answer it.

But lets start somewhere.



. My name is Jesse.

Jesse Ossai.
I just turned 16 last month.
I'm from Delta State, the igbo speaking part of Delta.

I'm not yet a university student ,
so practically, my life is just beginning, at least thats what some will say.
But to me i've experienced ''LIFE'' and its pains.
.
My experience might not be as epic as the legends or elders, but its something.


.
.

I've lived just 16 years on the face of this planet, and every 365 days was a flip of the pages in a certain book of experience, over and over , new things popped in, making me want to cling to the old, and at the same time dump it in the garbage of time.

I craved for the future everyday to come faster than it should, because i needed to leave this place .

Who am i now?.



I don't know
.
Truly, i don't

.







LIke it was planned, my phone rang immediately.
The sound of Lecrae rapping was both relieving and annoying at the same time.
I forced myself to pick the call, not bothering to see the caller.

''hello?''

''guy where are you na?''

Damn, it was my team mate(i'm in a dance group), and we were to shoot a video that afternoon.

my subconscious was already ''oboy which kain wahala be this sef ah!..''


''errrrm, i'm coming, just tidying up a few thing, i'll be with you guys soon.''

''na you sabi o, boss is already angry''


As he mentioned the word 'boss', my mind began flashes images of the idiot, and how . The guys such a jerk, like he wants us to make the team the only thing we'd ever do, like we don't have lives or something..
Whenever you get up to speak, he brings the 'RESPONSIBILITY' speech, reminding you of how much
of a fool you are without responsibility. His own definition of responsibility is ''TEAM''.

HE can go to hell for all i care, i don't even know why i'm still in the group sef.


''i'm coming, i'm coming'', i replied back to the caller.





...

Where i got the strength from is a mystery.

i hurried to the bathroom, took a leak, brushed my teeth as fast as could, put on my newly shapened black jean, slipped a shirt on, i glad my bag was still on the floor from last rehearsals ..
I picked up my phone and headset , put on some perfume, boyyyy i was stinking.
Looked myself in the mirror, put my glasses on to cover the bags underneath my eyes a bit.
They're prescribed, but they make me look good, and the girls seem to fall faster for me, so, added advantage.
I slipped my feet into my converse .. waited for MumC to enter her room and i dashed out.


I got to the site for the video at about 12:52.
And to my suprise, only ''caller'' was sitted with Parson James' 'waiting game'blaring from the speaker..

After I had gotten to the location for the shoot, I apologised for coming late and as you guessed , no one said a word to me , rather I was made to feel like a fool for not being on time.
,
I didn’t mention earlier, I’m in a dance group, but I’m not a dancer. Surprising right?, I’m actually terrible at dancing. I suck so bad I only dance in head. How did I find myself in a dance group?,
You.’ll find out in due time.
.
As is said, life brings across our paths those who help our destinies.
As one who just finished secondary school there’s a lot of pressure on me as to find the right career path and as to making the right life altering decisions. But truth be told, I was not ready for al that. I was lazy, I was a real lazy person, and it told a great deal on me and my life.
I was too lazy to accept responsibility and to take decisions, although every other person thinks the contrary about me .

My reputation is that of a strong willed, moral, always motivated, zealous and nice young person who is on fire for God.
I don’t know how i managed to paint a picture as expensive as that for myself. And subconsciously, tried to live up to everyone’s expectation.

I got back home from the video shoot on time to meet my mumc complaining about how unserious I was and how I always leave the house to go from one church to another or one fellowship to another.
I quietly snuck in took a warm bath and went straight to kitchen. I opened the pot, and boom right before me was beans, almighty beans. I filled my plate and headed to my room to satisfy the beasts in my tummy.
.
.
My phone vibrated, and messages came flooding in.
‘’hey babe, where are you. I’ve been trying to reach your line. I miss you , if you come online, please text me ASAP’’.

‘’my love, I’m online now, I was busy when you called’’
‘’what’s happening with you’’
.
.
That was my supposed girlfriend. We were not dating yet, at least not yet, I mean, come on, I’m not allowed to date yet or maybe so I was told.
.
I grew a in a very religious home, and part of our 1000 commandments was ‘DON’T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND, IT IS A SIN’’.
.
Funny part about this all was that I had a way with females that just made them pester around me, coupled with the fact I’m a church boy.
.
And I did not know how hoe to say no when I ‘sweet mouth’ my way into a relationship I did not intend to be in.
A girl once told me ‘’guy, you give green light too much’’, and I’m shocked as to how my nature is very suggestive.
That aside, the one who texted was Alice. Alice was a beauty, and I could say, she was the love of my life

Nice one dude keep it up... Waiting for more update.... But have to be more constructive, cross check b4 posting

thank you so much. i'll work on it

And why I say so is because of the welcoming atmosphere she gives to me.

I woke up the next morning wondering what big step to take, because clearly I was fed up with everything.
I refused to go out yet, to avoid my mums unnecessary wahala. All I wanted was some alone time.
So I waited till she had gone out before I prepared and headed out to the street behind our house,
It had a huge wall on one side. I think it fenced a school, a very large school, if I must say, o something, I don’t really know, I sha know the fence was really long, and the there was no other house on that side.
.

The other side of the fence was just gates of some rich people, who were never around. So, walking on that road felt like walking through paradise if you know what I mean.
For some strange reason that morning, I woke up feeling the absence of my dad.
He died when I was barely a year, and I was convinced he would have a stronger and more positive opinion as to all happening around.
From what I hear, he’s very reserved, and I took after him a huge bunch if I must say.
.

They tell me he’s very principled and loves tings to be done how and when they should be.
And yes, he was a womanizer. Mum told me countless times, they had had fights because of his infidelity.
I took whole lot after that trait too,
.

I mean I loved women, but was too scared to show it, so I found pleasure and satisfaction in porn, and occasional sexting with seemingly desperate girls.

I could not touch a woman it was a sin before God, don’t forget, I’m on fire for god, and my hands were sanctified.

I began masturbating when I was 11 yeas old.
.
.
I was given a simple instruction to wash my body properly, and I ended up staining myself, and to be sincere I can’t wash that stain of.
I was completely ignorant about what I was doing. All I knew was that I liked it, and it gave me pleasure, satisfaction, and I was generally sweet.

Years passed, and I heard a pastor in my church talk about it, and that was the first time I heard the word masturbation.
I asked myself in my confusion if it was actually a sin, I couldn’t find answers, and I let it eat deeper and deeper,
.

Fast forward to present day, I still self-service, and go to church on Sunday holding the microphone, singing to God .


Matters relating to sexuality and sex were taboos to be spoken of by me or anyone when I was younger, and I was left to find out about them on my own, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience.
.
.
.
My thoughts were interrupted when I heard a call
‘’pssssstt, yo jesse wait up guy’’

It dawned on me I had been walking al this while.

‘’ah mikey how far na , wetin dey sup.’’

‘’ oboy I dey, see how you just dey fresh’’
.
.
.
.