i'm here fuming,

i can see smoke (literally),
but i doubt they're frm my ears!

twit's @ it again!,
she doesn't quite get it!

i _stnd if a beef's cookn,
wen i'm rung tho',

but she's miles away,
& on the fone!

& stil thinks the pic she painted
(the one in her head),
is ryt!

based on her interpretatns
ov whr i am;
& prolly wat i'm capable ov!

but i wish she were ryt,
then dis wuld be easier to bear!

i'd try not to let this dampen my spirits,

i'm wiv the guys,
same ol', same ol' !

we're stil al bout that book,
'the rudiments ov the loose cigar'

it brings up discussions,
sumtyms arguments

it has a way of doin' such!
But its fun nonetheless,

despite all that's hapnin arnd me,
i'm fully aware ov my stomach; churnin away!

wat's for brkfst,
(my head's teln me)

chuka just came arnd!
His first spoken words,

not a complete sentence,
just a phrase,

, 'i'm hungry' !!!

ok!,
that makes two ov us

i'm stil countin,
on seemingly hopless days lyk dis,
the more the merrier!

tc's down,
& prolly has sum ingredients too!

i rili dnt nid leeches,
so won't count 'em!

wat do i hav asides
a gas burner, sum rice,
cookin' utensils
& 'the tech. knw how'??!

two green notes & a red one!,
i doubt i'm ready to relinquish

i stil hav lil nids asides hunger to meet!

ok,
God rili does kip to his promises!

'nwa aba' just came in naw,
& added a blue note to pack!

nw i can prioritize!
tinned tomatoes can come in.

imagine i'm thinkin' mor lyk sardines,
& they r thinkn fuel!

Pro Evolution Soccer 9!

i dnt do soccer,
so its their fantasy they'd be livin'

nah!
i aint weird (i knw watchu myt be thinkn)
a guy who doesn't play video games!

i'm more ov adventure & racin'

Need for Speed - Underground!
totali addictive!

i haven't read my 'janelle brown'
in a whyl

i miss it,
but i want the feelin to last longer!

bak to my cookin'

i hav dishes to do first,
but havnt' summoned the courage yet

they all think i'm staln for sumtn else
lil do they knw!

oh!
my aux cable stil works!
Chuka's i-touch is playn

a song's blastn thru my stereo speakers,

i knw the song, but too tired to think up its name!

my baby's comin' today!
yeah imma daddy (dint i tel yu?, Lol)

i knw i cant wait to see her,
but she's not the only one i cant wait to see!

my atm card!
in a bid to frugal, i made her go home wiv it!

thats y i had me countin
two green notes & a red one!
whilst i'm used to starin' @ Dr. Clement Isong's face! & the lyks ov 'em!

yeah i knw,
change is constant!

naw i knw all i hav to do is wait this one out!
13/12/09.

;Dit mahhhdddd. . . i like it

thanks

Its a nice piece, but u need more flavour, u got the descriptive flow but the flaw in vividnes is constant. A lil bit of continuity an less juxtapositions, u need a clear work an ur numerous juxtaposition dosnt help ur use of language. Consider the diction and ur piece is d bomb