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"After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man - Religion - Nairaland

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"After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by markode777: 7:11pm On Feb 12
KINGSLEY IWU

Here is a man, Frederick Beuchi who was addicted to masturbation and pornography, even as a church leader, he wrote;

The first time I watched blue movies was way back when I was in class 8 when we sneaked with my friends to a local video hall. I had never experienced it. Having been raised in strict Christian background I vowed to my 13-year-old self never to go back to watching blue movies. That night and for several weeks I was haunted as the pictures from the blue movies kept playing in my mind.

In high school, I was an active CU member. In fact, I was appointed as CU chairman in form two.

But towards the end of form two, I would see people on Saturdays watching movies in our TV hall. One night I had stayed behind to read, so as I left the hall to dormitories at around 1 am, I saw that TV was still. When I peeped to see what they were watching, right on my face as pornographic movies.

I quickly walked away. Here’s the problem I could not stop thinking about it. I finally yielded to the pressure. I was so eager for the weekends. But since I was a CU chairman and I had a character to uphold I had to be clever.

So I would sneak up to the window and feed my mind with the images. It’s dark, it's late, I’m wondering what if the askari comes and find me hanging on the window.

My grades went low and my concentration in class fizzled out.

During holidays, that became the trend. I remember one time in form three my friend and I were accidentally locked inside the computer lab. To me that was it! The whole night I was hopping from one website to the other.

I cleared my high school, and thank God my grades were good by my standards!

After doing a course in shipping management, I got a job in a company in Mombasa. At that time, I could not help it. I was a slave of pornography.

Here’s the twist, back at home I was appointed as the youth leader in our local church. I lead church services, I talked with them, but inside I was a mess.

In my first job, there was nothing else that I was doing on my desk besides watching pornography. It did not help that they had pretty fast internet. I would quickly finish my work to get back to my hobby.

That job lasted for only four months after a big blunder that cost the company a fortune. This was after hours of watching sexual material.

My self-esteem was really low, I couldn’t even get a girlfriend because in my mind I thought they would know what I was doing in secret.

In my second job, same thing, same behaviour. In fact, it moved from bad to worse. I had started having severe headaches at this time. I would keep taking painkillers. I started getting hallucinations.

When someone was talking to me, I’d blankly be staring at empty space. Then I would scream, to chase away pictures. This happened a lot of time.

But in 2013, my sister’s epileptic condition had gotten worse as well.

I turned prayers, but every time I would backslide back to my vice. There’s a time I watched pornography for over 8 hours. Obviously masturbating in the bathroom, feeling bad and still going back to it. I was chained.

Every time I watched pornography, I would masturbate: seeking self-satisfaction

That really affected me, I would be weak, feeling guilty, self-shame and clearly, my self-esteem was at low.

You see, I couldn’t open up to anyone for fear of being judged.

I remember my prayer on this particular day. I asked God to exchange my addiction with bhang.

I had friends who were addicted to the substance, and they looked happy! I was stressed. Perhaps it would calm me down.

On that day I think I was at the end of the road. My phone was the first victim and a voice told me that I had to share my story.

The following weekend we had a youth kesha in my local church and was by default the MC. Funny thing is that the church was unusually full. So I asked if anyone had something to share. No one was standing. Silence

I found myself telling the congregation that I had something to share.

There was pin-drop silence as I narrated my story. I detailed my account in an intense one-hour long narration. You could hear paper drop. “What’s he talking about” their eyes seemed to ask me

After an hour of sharing. “I have a feeling God has begun the healing journey with me, I don’t know how many of us would like to begin this journey with me,” I asked.

Nothing.

Even my closest friends did not come close to me. I was like the plague. They started judging me, they did not want to be associated with porn guy.

I lived with that stigma for a couple of months standing up to the rebuke of telling my story.

But a certain pastor in Mombasa helped me with advice in series of meetings. I was in a journey back to recovery.

But on my end, the struggle had just begun and it was not easy. Sometimes I could share my story, and still, watch the videos at night.

Enough was enough.

I met a guy from Teens Development Initiative that ran counselling in high school. They decided to include me as part of their team. We did over 60 schools with storytelling taking centre stage.

Without realizing it, that period had helped me heal. I had stopped watching pornographic material.

My life had been crowded by either the teen initiative or epilepsy awareness events.

I tell my story to encourage people that it’s possible to unchain from difficult vices. Refocus your mind to less harmful things.

I would later be appointed as a board member at National Epilepsy Coordination board for my efforts in creating awareness and reaching out to the affected.

Seeking help for my sister really helped me evade the vice that was eating me up.

SOURCE: https://www.google.com.ng/amp/s/www.sde.co.ke/amp/article/2001269441/i-was-a-church-leader-addicted-to-pornography-frederick-beuchi-s-battle-with-masturbation

20 Likes 6 Shares

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by GloriaNinja(f): 7:17pm On Feb 12
ADDICTION CAN BE DESTRUCTIVE, WHEN YOU JUMP PASS AN ADDICTION THEN IT'S GOD'S DOING. PLUS DEDICATION AND PRAYER

110 Likes 3 Shares

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by modelmike7(m): 7:19pm On Feb 12
This is so deep.

22 Likes 2 Shares

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by biacan(f): 7:21pm On Feb 12
97% of Nigerian men are suffering from masturbation mostly young men...... It takes the grace of the creator for one to overcome lust.... smiley


Modify


For all those masturbators quoting me please that's not my hand writing embarassed

102 Likes 4 Shares

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by penisilin(m): 8:11pm On Feb 12
This is serious and applaudable. Many young men and women are currently going through this monster problem. It is well

32 Likes

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by olayinex(m): 9:08pm On Feb 12
Chai dis matter again...97% of dis day are going Tru dis stuff, you just need to b determine nd focus, it like a war Dat u must fight nd if u want to win u need time, I mean time..
Firstly u need to stop d issue of watching porn nd other adult materials just to build ur self and always b playful then strt challenging yourself like u will not do it, strt from weeks to months then months just to improve in your life

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Samogbo1(m): 10:20pm On Feb 13
...Ur village ppl strong gan!
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Nwodosis(m): 10:20pm On Feb 13
Have you ever wondered why you can't tickle yourself to stimulate laughter but you can stimulate your sexual organs and they will come alive?
It goes to show that nature is in support of masturbation.

28 Likes 2 Shares

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by OboOlora(f): 10:21pm On Feb 13
biacan:
97% of Nigerian men are suffering from masturbation mostly young men...... It takes the grace of the creator for one to overcome lust.... smiley

6 Likes 3 Shares

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by millionboi2: 10:21pm On Feb 13
Totally ur business

1 Like

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Simeony007(m): 10:21pm On Feb 13
Y
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by BlackAdam55(m): 10:22pm On Feb 13
Thank God 4 u tongue
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Sweetcollins: 10:22pm On Feb 13
Hmmmm
O di egwu
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Slikbae: 10:23pm On Feb 13
Lol

1 Like

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by exlinkleads(f): 10:24pm On Feb 13
good for u
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by sirusX(m): 10:24pm On Feb 13
As expected...when you get addicted it’s hard to leave

It’s always best to substitute a habit for another one

3 Likes

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by thesicilian: 10:24pm On Feb 13
biacan:
97% of Nigerian men are suffering from masturbation mostly young men...... It takes the grace of the creator for one to overcome lust.... smiley
I'm sure your husband or boyfriend is one of them

14 Likes

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Nobody: 10:25pm On Feb 13
biacan:
97% of Nigerian men are suffering from masturbation mostly young men...... It takes the grace of the creator for one to overcome lust.... smiley

5 Likes

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Nobody: 10:25pm On Feb 13
Well done sir
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by lloyds(m): 10:25pm On Feb 13
biacan:
97% of Nigerian men are suffering from masturbation mostly young men...... It takes the grace of the creator for one to overcome lust.... smiley

It is a lie. I have never thought of it, not to talk doing it.

97% is too high bro.

10 Likes 1 Share

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by akeentech(m): 10:26pm On Feb 13
exlinkleads:
good for u
Good for body
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by JamaicanLove(f): 10:26pm On Feb 13
My ex was a chronic masturbator(dunno if im correct). This guy fit spend hours for bathroom dey watch porn and dey masturbate too. Him go use every fibre for him body stroke him dhick. Na only God been fit deliver me from him.. my Toto been hear am sha

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Imomeetsondo: 10:27pm On Feb 13
Thank God for his life

1 Like

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Imomeetsondo: 10:27pm On Feb 13
JamaicanLove:
My ex was a chronic masturbator(dunno if im correct). This guy fit spend hours for bathroom dey watch porn and dey masturbate too. Him go use every fibre for him body stroke him dhick. Na only God been fit deliver me from him.. my Toto been hear am sha
Olosho����

48 Likes 1 Share

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by hopefulLandlord: 10:28pm On Feb 13
Hmmm
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Nobody: 10:28pm On Feb 13
JamaicanLove:
My ex was a chronic masturbator(dunno if im correct). This guy fit spend hours for bathroom dey watch porn and dey masturbate too. Him go use every fibre for him body stroke him dhick. Na only God been fit deliver me from him.. my Toto been hear am sha
you can't blow by talking nonsense about your boyfriend

And you are still underage to have boyfriend by now

17 Likes

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Einl(m): 10:28pm On Feb 13
You gotta be strong.
Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by Edopesin(m): 10:29pm On Feb 13
biacan:
97% of Nigerian men are suffering from masturbation mostly young men...... It takes the grace of the creator for one to overcome lust.... smiley
Trash

11 Likes

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by kokomilala(m): 10:30pm On Feb 13
@biacan,Many Nigerian women too masturbate , including teenagers, married women, single women. But they pretend too much. In fact, according to research 90% of Christians masturbate.But in this part of the world, the hypocrisy, particularly from women, hides their addiction to masturbation.

38 Likes 3 Shares

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by profolaolu: 10:30pm On Feb 13
It is not everyone that goes to to Church or hold high post or position is a Christian some are just Church goer and bench warmers

1 Like

Re: "After Prayers, I Would Go Back To Masturbation & Watch Blue Film" - Kenyan Man by watchindelta(m): 10:31pm On Feb 13
biacan:
97% of Nigerian men are suffering from masturbation mostly young men...... It takes the grace of the creator for one to overcome lust.... smiley
why cant u help us out undecided atleast 20 of us a day not bad grin grin

6 Likes 1 Share

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