Often times, guys, i.e. the male folks, will say there are things in particular they would not do for their partners until they get married to them. They will say stuff like: I can not buy a vehicle, pay tuition fees, etc., for a woman I am not married to. Then I begin to wonder, is it that it is when they are married that they come to believe the commitment of their partners? Or do these guys not know that a lifetime-lasting marriage is not a function of the value of material things bought or acquired for one's partner? Or better still, do these guys not see and hear of lavish celebrity weddings who then go on exquisite honeymoon and purchase different luxurious gift items for their partners only for the marriage to crash one to two days after? Oh, I meant one or two years after.

After having observed these phenomenon keenly and every possible outcome of a relationship for a sufficient period of time, I have come to the conclusion that the reason guys are like that is because they are afraid. They are scared. They are frightened by the uncertainty of the outcome of their relationships with their partners. In the course of their relationships, they ask themselves questions like: Why should I buy something very expensive for her when she is not yet my wife? Why should I go out of my way for her when she could even jilt me and flee with another guy who is probably richer than I am? Why should I do these things, now, when I can wait till she becomes my wife and then I will have the assurance that she has nowhere else to go?

I laugh! Guys are just afraid to love, wholeheartedly. And sincerely, I really can not blame them for having these fears. We all see and hear on, if not a daily basis, of how people, generally, are always cheating in relationships as though they were writing an examination. We hear true life stories of how, for example, a lady in a relationship with one guy will go on and get married to another guy out of the blue, leaving the initial guy with no prior notice only for the initial guy to start seeing wedding pictures on Facebook and Instagram. I even have a friend (a guy) who has had that particular experience. The point I am trying to make here is: ladies are not helping matters. And this is not to say that guys are blameless.

I like us to take an open-minded look at this scenario regardless of our religious affiliations: When God wanted to reconcile the world to Himself, when He thought of sacrificing His only son for the human race, did it not occur to Him that not every human will still accept His son as their personal Lord and savior? Or did God not know that we were sinners before He decided to sacrifice His only Son for us? If God knew all of that, why did He go ahead to sacrifice Jesus? You want to know the answer? Check the first statement in the book of John chapter 3 verse 16.
For God so love the world. For God so love the world that He was not afraid to do anything for His people. God was not afraid to love despite knowing that not everyone will acknowledge His sacrifice. God was not afraid to love, wholeheartedly.

How does that scenario relate to the issue in context? The answer is LOVE - the God kinda LOVE. Ask yourself this question: As a guy, what do you mean when you say you love or you are in love with a lady? You like only her body features and so you just want to be intimately involved with her and nothing more? Or you are actually willing to accept her for who she is and never to use her flaws against her? If your answer is in consonance with the latter response, now tell me, is it until you get married to her that you start manifesting your intentions to her? Or at the very point where you decided within yourself that you love that lady? Whichever one your response is, I just believe that God, from the moment He decided to sacrifice Jesus, had already forgiven the human race and He already accepted us even before Virgin Mary was informed of her pregnancy with Jesus. The birth and death of Jesus were just the prerequisite physical manifestation of God's great love for us.

In essence, what I am telling you is that if you got great love for that lady, do not let any fear whatsoever deter you from fully expressing your love to her. Do not wait until she says yes to your marriage proposal before getting that car or even a private jet for her. I have been, and will continue to be, a victim of God's love and so I know that love is a very beautiful thing. And as a result, I am not afraid at all to do anything for that special lady I "will" love even while she is not yet my wife.

"Each gives what he or she has" - Danstan Wasobokha. Regardless of the outcome of my relationship, I can always look at my own deeds and tell myself that I gave what I had. And that was love.

Olawale Taiwo