The First Thirty Minutes

By Pius Adesanmi

Nairobi, Kenya...

Long flight from Ottawa via Zurich. It's my second working trip to the continent in 2018. I had wanted to do some sobolation at the airport during the layover in Zurich but decided to keep it for another day, another time.

A banner screaming my name greets me as I walk out of the arrival hall in Nairobi. The banner is hoisted by a shuttle driver whose friendliness rivals that of my designated shuttle driver in the Seychelles back in November 2017.

His warmth is effusive as he asks me the usual one million African questions about my journey.

And, of course, he starts to sell his country almost immediately as we make our way to the parking mall across from the terminal building.

I've never stepped out of the airport terminal in Nairobi. I've only transited over the years so, in a way, I am stepping on Kenyan soil for the first time.

I take in what the shuttle driver is selling. And I notice immediately that we do not lack extremely courteous and friendly and corporately-dressed shuttle drivers in Lagos. The trouble is: what are they going to sell as first impressions to the visitor encountering their country for the very first time?

I look around me in the airport concourse between the Terminal and the Parking Lot. It feels very Heathrow-ish.

Some folks have borrowed themselves brain and curated this space for the purpose of first encounters and first impressions...

We are now in the shuttle. Ogbeni Shuttle Driver is carried away, selling his products, Nairobi and Kenya.

We are on the freeway leading out of the airport to town. My mouth is turning to ash.

Some folks have borrowed themselves brain in the determination to ensure that the first 30 kilometres or the first 30 minutes of your encounter with this country makes the job of selling her easy.

I shake my head and feel pity for the shuttle driver in Lagos. You try to put a gloss on a bad situation and sell. But the moment you pull out of Murtala Mohammed Airport on to that road leading to Lagos, any positive spin you may have woven is debunked by your country with overwhelming empirical evidence of mediocrity and backwardness. That airport road in Lagos... first impressions...

I am starting to get what is happening in the rest of this continent. It is not that you are not going to encounter that Africa of underdevelopment when you get to town.What I am starting to notice as I crisscross the continent is that from the airport terminal to the parking garage to the expressway out of the airport, folks are determined that your first 30 minutes of encountering their country will be visual and aesthetic pleasure. They want you to form an impression withing those first 30 minutes.

So they curate, plan and aestheticize what I call the infrastructure of encounter. This is what seals your impression of their country. It is an emotional thing.

Thirty minutes is all it takes, I say to myself. Thirty minutes has been rocket science for Nigeria since 1960. Give us a first world autobahn to ride on for the first 30 minutes of encountering Nigeria. Those rotten people in leadership can't pull it off. Every second on this Nairobi airport road, my mind keeps going to Rawlings. I keep thinking of folks in government houses in Nigeria who should be urgently tied to the stakes and shot.

We are approaching the Central Business District. He tells me my hotel is in one swanky part of town where the UN Buildings, the US Embassy, other European Embassies, etc, are located. To get there, we pretty much have to cross the city and he is happy that it gives him an opportunity to play the tourist guide. I am impressed by his encyclopedic knowledge of the social, environmental, and infrastructural history and layout of Nairobi.

We are not at your level in Canada yet, he keeps, saying but we are trying, Prof.

He is automatically assuming that my comparative backcloth is Canada. I wisely refrain from telling him that Canada is not the country on my mind. I thank God that it is past 8pm. He cannot see how I am wincing in pain in the darkness of the SUV.

How about electricity, how stable is it? I risk the danger of asking, against my better judgement.

It was bad till about 2012. We used to ration. But I think we stopped rationing in 2012. Or was it 2011? I don't remember our last rationing and power cuts precisely sir but it has been stable since 2012 or 2011, especially in the cities. It has also improved a lot in the villages. Like I said, we are not at your level yet but we are really working hard.

I let him go on believing that, with stable electricity since 2012, they are not at my level yet. Thank God for Canada...

I feel like changing the subject to garbage, refuse collection, littering, and general hygiene issues in Nairobi. I haven't noticed garbage heaps. I know they too have the usual challenges of the African city. I know they've got Kibera. I just want to know what the overall general public attitude to littering is.

I swallow the question as it is on the verge of escaping my mouth. I better not go there jare. My mind goes back to the Seychelles where I had asked my shuttle driver this same question about neatness and lack of littering and got a brutally true response that nearly ruined my one-week working trip to the Island. I got a lecture about how Lagos and Ibadan could aspire to be less filthy.

This friendly Kenyan may be using Canada as my backcloth. He is no fool. He knows where I am from in Africa.

I don't want to buy kerosene, put it in atupa, strike a match to get the flame going, and go in search of a response that could sadden me throughout my work week here.

I borrow myself brain and keep quiet for the rest of the ride to the hotel. Mo fi ogbon se!

I am happy to be back in the continent. Always!


Ishilove, read this one yet?