"MY WIFE IS LAZY"
.By Dr. Khadeejah Folake-Sanni Tijaani
.
This is the advanced version of yesterday's post (My Wife is Dirty). There are many ways to manage a dirty wife but when she is lazy to the extent that she can't lift a finger, take care of herself and the children, and do other wifely duties as expected, then there is a big trouble.
The truth is, most of us have a lazy side which gets activated from time to time. There are times when I just feel like lounging in bed all day, talking to no one and doing absolutely nothing. There are also days when I get a spark of energy from nowhere and I do everything from shopping to mass-cleaning and bulk-cooking. Anyone who sees me on such days would call me a superwife without knowing that I was faffing around the day before!
This kind of cyclical laziness is partly attributable to the hormonal effect of the menstrual cycle. Some of us experience pain/discomfort during the middle of the cycle (around the time of ovulation). Some of us have severe premenstrual syndrome, starting a few days before our menses. Others have horrible menstrual pain for the first 2 to 3 days of the menses. That's about an average of 5 to 10 days of crankiness within a month. If I can make up for these days and be a good girl for the remainder of the month, then I shouldn't be labeled as a lazy wife. Right?
Pregnancy and the postpartum period also come with significant fluctuations in mood and behaviour. When you spend the whole night dancing with a colicky baby and the entire morning, you are vomiting because you are pregnant again, plus, you are grumpy and spitting throughout the day... then cleaning and cooking becomes the last thing you want to do that night. It just won't happen! This is why we keep encouraging husbands to help around the house.
This problem may also be a direct effect of upbringing. You can't expect an ajebutter who grew up using washing machine and dishwasher, to adapt to a less luxurious condition like an ajepaki whose hands have already become calloused from frequent washing. Couples who communicate lovingly shouldn't have any problem in this regard. An ajebutter can still learn how to cook ekuru if her husband wants it, but he must apply wisdom, patience and compassion. Plus, you can't keep complaining about laziness when you are also guilty of it.
Cyclical laziness can be excused, for reasons stated earlier. However, continuous, pathological and unapologetic laziness cannot be condoned. You can't keep blaming it on the hormones all the time. The hormones fluctuate. Try to recognize the peaks and nadirs of the hormones and spend your time wisely. Plan a routine. Spontaneity dies on the day you get married. You are a responsible woman now, your husband and children have rights over you. You need to set a good example for your children. Divide tasks into simple bits and delegate. Do not hesitate to ask for help internally or externally.
Laziness is one of the signs of weakened faith. Move closer to your Lord. Recite the Qur'an and read your adhkaar daily. Read:
ﺍﻟﻠَّﻬُﻢَّ ﺇِﻧِّﻲ ﺃَﻋْﻮﺫُ ﺑِﻚَ ﻣِﻦَ ﺍﻟﻬَﻢِّ ﻭَﺍﻟْﺤَﺰَﻥِ، ﻭﺍﻟﻌَﺠْﺰِ ﻭﺍﻟﻜَﺴَﻞِ، ﻭﺍﻟﺒُﺨْﻞِ ﻭﺍﻟﺠُﺒْﻦِ، ﻭﺿَﻠْﻊِ ﺍﻟﺪَّﻳْﻦِ ﻭﻏَﻠَﺒَﺔِ ﺍﻟﺮِّﺟَﺎﻝِ
"O Allah, I seek refuge in You from grief and sadness, from weakness and from laziness, from miserliness and from cowardice, from being overcome by debt and from being overpowered by men"
Avoid activities that waste your time and sap your energy unnecessarily. Declutter your life. Get rid of parasitic friends and gossiping neighbours. Read about the muslim women companions and learn from the way they managed their homes. Even if you have a hundred maids, there are some things you're still expected to do by yourself and others you need to supervise actively. Only then can we call you a true QUEEN OF THE HOUSE.
©KT
2018

Shukron yah ustadh. nice one

Ustadh Ke, I no be ustadh ooo. . JazakaLlaahu khairan for the beneficial posts you've been sharing with us here.

Shukron Sir, i don't pray Allah give anyone a lazy wife. A lazy wife will usually be dirty as she is lazy to even clean up herself, kid(s) or the home.

May Allah make our wives the coolness of our eyes and may they also be our wives in Jannah!

Jazakallahu Khayran OP

It was a nice read. My only question is, what is ekuru?

Mofpearl:
Jazakallahu Khayran OP

It was a nice read. My only question is, what is ?

. Ekuru is the same as Oyaa

Alennsar:
. Ekuru is the same as Oyaa

I don't want to seem ignorant but I don't know what oyaa is either lol.

Modified*
found out that it's "white moi moi"

Jazakallahu khayran.

Smiles...... . wa antum fajazakumuLlaahu khairan. . . Aameen