Hello Nairalanders

I really need advise because I am very worried with the way things are going.

I am married and I notice that when we want to embark on a capital intensive my wife is always coming up with an excuse that I am the man of the house and I should foot the bill alone. Her main responsibility is to make sure that there is food for the family, meanwhile I am the one that drops the feeding allowance monthly.

1. When we were trying to get a new car, she made this same statement. I eventually sourced for the cash and bought the car. She is the one that drives the car mostly.

2. When we started developing our property, she made the same statement.

This below occurrence pained me the most

She complained that we have stayed too long in our recent apartment and we should look for a new place, we saw a good accommodation, the total package is N800k and I have been able to pay N700k and I have been trying to source for the balance. I asked her to source for the balance of N100k, she "Do I want someone to assist me in paying my rent". I was so pissed and told her that I won't source for the balance anymore, once the caretaker is tired of us balancing up; he will refund my 700k. I will pay for the present accommodation and still have some small change.

Is a woman not supposed to assist her spouse?

I am equally tired of staying in our current accommodating but I can still manage staying if she does not bulge.

I always want to get her involved in these things but her mentality is that the man should be responsible for everything.

Kindly advice (PLEASE CHILDISH COMMENTS ARE NOT ALLOWED)

Why are u dis slow? Why allowed. her to dictate to u on what to do?.Why pay for anoda rent wen u can use the money plus agent agreement continue with ur own project?Why u dey tell her ur move wen u knw her lifestyle?Man up u hia.U probably. live within. Lekki/Ajah.

Pay 800k for rent


Oga, such amount should be diverted to your project (building) that's if you have one

Niggah Man....watch as that woman pushes you to bankruptcy.

A man that cannot stamp his feet down..is that one a man??

smh

Every marriage has its own wahala that one partner is always doing. I guess this is yours.

Who wants to move, her or you? If she's not too interested in moving then she won't feel it if you eventually don't pay the N800k. I would suggest you wait for another opportunity to teach her a lesson. In the meantime pay for the rent. One day her oversabi will trap her.

Prognose:
Every marriage has its own wahala that one partner is always doing. I guess this is yours.

Who wants to move, her or you? If she's not too interested in moving then she won't feel it if you eventually don't pay the N800k. I would suggest you wait for another opportunity to teach her a lesson. In the meantime pay for the rent. One day her oversabi will trap her.

I have a plan and I will execute it.

sadly, you sir are a muppet.... marriage does not equate to foolishery, that your partner tells you something you are against and you bow to it.

but then again, some men are quick to act as rich dude to entice women, and after marriage want to act differently. if this woman never paid anything worthy for the family before, why should she now?! if this woman has never been financially involved in the family why should she now?

the most important question would be:" what the hell does she do with her own money?!"

When I read some posts online these days, I wonder what married people do during their dating/courtship period. Like seriously op, how exactly did you come to the understanding, realisation or belief that she's the right person for you, if you two have such disparities?

You mean not for once did you ever discuss your life and finances as a couple? And when you were dating, you need very noticed she's the blue but a receiver and not a giver or sharer? How about her goals and aspirations? Are they in line with yours? So if you decide to pursue another capital project, say an investment, you don't have a wife that shares similar dreams and visions to support you, both financially, psychologically, emotionally and above all spiritually?

Walahi, marriage is seriously overrated.

MrBrownJay1:
sadly, you sir are a muppet.... marriage does not equate to foolishery, that your partner tells you something you are against and you bow to it.

but then again, some men are quick to act as rich dude to entice women, and after marriage want to act differently. if this woman never paid anything worthy for the family before, why should she now?! if this woman has never been financially involved in the family why should she now?

the most important question would be:" what the hell does she do with her own money?!"

I think it's too late to ask the last question sir. If he never discussed and agreed with her on financial allocation and disbursement in their family, and allowed her to get away with a lot from the on set, then any mention of her money now will most likely crumble the already shaking union.

I think the best bet would be to let her know that he can't handle all expenses alone. He should ask her to choose some things she'll be doing; share responsibilities jor. She didn't leave her father's house to come and become a liability/property to him.

...but if I were a man... Chai...

Well well well...I wish you guys talked about this before marriage. Some women strongly believe men are absolute providers while some believe marriage is a joint financial venture.

Try to pay up here and have your financial talk afterwards....this is you putting the cart before the horse sha.

Well she tends to believe in the traditional roles

Men provide all
Women take care of the home. Simple

By the way you never mentioned if she has a job or something doing.

TR1212:


I think it's too late to ask the last question sir. If he never discussed and agreed with her on financial allocation and disbursement in their family, and allowed her to get away with a lot from the on set, then any mention of her money now will most likely crumble the already shaking union.

I think the best bet would be to let her know that he can't handle all expenses alone. He should ask her to choose some things she'll be doing; share responsibilities jor. She didn't leave her father's house to come and become a liability/property to him.

...but if I were a man... Chai...

very true, as this woman certainly does not look like she started thinking this way yesterday... trying to change her now will be very difficult, and possibly a waste of time.