SEXUAL VIOLENCE 101

HOW TO TREAT A FRIEND WHO HAS BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED - Abimbola Awojirin.

Actions of rape victims may vary, he or she might be angry, sad or afraid. Your friend who is a victim of sexual violence has decided to confide in you about the ugly incident.
How should you respond?

1. YOU LISTEN: For someone to disclose a case of sexual assault to you, it means they trust you enough to share their painful story. Listening with compassion can be so helpful.

2. BELIEVE HIM/HER: It is alright to ask a few questions but rather than asking too many irrelevant questions, just believe the person. This is not the time to come up with biased societal notions that might make the victim’s story unbelievable.

3. GIVE OPTIONS: In order to give a sense of control back to your friend, allow him or her to carefully choose what option is the best way forward. Encourage him/her to carefully choose from reasonable options only. For example, if the incident just happened You can encourage him/her to see a doctor immediately for medical attention.

4. REMIND THEM THAT IT IS NOT THEIR FAULT: No one deserves to be raped or sexually violated and no victim should be blamed for the ugly incident.
Ask questions in a sensitive way. Imagine yourself in their situation, how will you feel? So that you can get a better sense of what happened, be honest about that. For example:
“I’m going to ask you some questions because I want to really understand your experience not because I think you did wrong, is that okay?”

5. ENCOURAGE THE PERSON TO REPORT THE INCIDENT TO THE APPROPRIATE AUTHORITIES: Do not force the victim to report to the police. But let the victim know that doing so ensures that the offender is prosecuted and justice is served to the victim.
When the person cannot report personally, a petition can be brought before the police on behalf of the victim.
Do not encourage your friend or plan with him/her to go on some dangerous revenge mission. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

6. KEEP HIS/HER STORY CONFIDENTIAL: After your friend has confided in you, do not tell everyone about his/her ugly incident. It should not become a gossip topic. The more you spread his/her story, the more you promote the stigma that comes with sexual violence and make it difficult for your friend to recover from it. If you must talk to anyone, talk to someone who can really help your friend.

These simple steps can set a victim of sexual violence on a part to quick recovery from the incident.

SAY NO TO SEXUAL VIOLENCE!!!
DO NOT REMAIN SILENT!!!!!

Report all cases of Sexual Violence at www.rapeisacrime.org or 08118884144(whatsapp) or the following hotlines +2348149171224; +2348055971317; +2348171325565; +23480118884144.

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