Toxic Relationship And Domestic Violence: Uncanny End Of Aliezee & Daughter

The  alleged gruesome murder of  sensational music artist Zainab Alizee, and daughter Zetra, reputedly by her Danish Husband Peter Nielsen, left many questioning elements that shape matrimonial affairs of the modern age. Nevertheless, this is not a new tale about marital crash and burn, but a vivid example to divulge the steady inner conflicts of matrimony and relationship in general. One of the leading factors that breeds such horrific and abusive scenes isn’t farther away from toxicity in relationships, which eventual end begets domestic violence. The problem doesn’t lie solely on toxic relationship, but rather what is and how best can one possibly shun it before it  begets its venomous end which is domestic violence. Indefinitely large number of people have in one manner or another gotten involved and presently many are still closely tied in one toxic relationship without due knowledge. The fact that we fail utterly to differentiate them has led many to their unfortunate end just like Alizee and Zetra her daughter.
 
Toxic relationship is any relationship that is unconducive to you or others involved. The groundwork of any relationship, healthy or not, are most commonly established upon mutual admiration and respect, but can, in time, become notably unhealthy. It is the noxious ambiance that distinguishes a merely bad or troublesome relationship from a toxic relationship. Toxic relationships can prevent those involved from living a productive and healthy life. Toxic relationships can be caused by two polar antonym character types. The toxicity is caused by the incompatibility of the persons involved in the relationship. In some cases, there is no one necessarily to blame for the toxicity; rather, the toxicity is caused by the inability to commune and establish healthy boundaries, conversations, and communication.
 
Just like popularly said, “it takes two to tango” doesn’t occur in many cases, individuals most times enter relationships for needful reasons, personal gratifications and greed. The existentiality and total dominance of physical and fiscal strength in most relationships, have done more harm in exalting excellently total dominance of one partner over another, replacing the ethical principle of mutual respect and admiration in relationship. It created the ALPHA and PREY. The alpha, who consistently is preying, seeking to emotionally and psychologically dehydrate the prey, removing whatever is possible for their own greedy benefits. Such individuals have manipulative mentality, and will frequently maneuver their way into any relationship that they perceive as beneficial. It is note worthy, toxic people are rarely aware of their toxicity, most are well engrossed in their emotions, selfish goals and greedy interests, without being aware of their significant figure's interests.
However, when the incompatibility of self goals, emotions, and interests becomes unbearable, it stands no chance of repair but more harm, instantaneously begetting various forms of domesticated violence. Women are faced with the greater challenge when it comes to domesticated form of physical violence, which includes rapes,slapping,kicking,molestation, and murder, all emanating from the factor reasons; either their husband is intoxicated under alcoholism, lack of money/financial challenges, or rejection of sexual advances. Lopsidedness in relationships is also attributed to domestic violence on womenfolk, this mostly occurs when the female partner is well under a paying job or earns more than the male, this sense of lack of super financial control, leads men into doing the outrageous on their female partners. This also includes men who are habitual lovers of dominance in relationships. Famously, Actress Mercy Aigbe, who was physically and emotionally manhandled roughly by husband, afterwards turned anti-domestic violence preacher and greatly condemned the case of Alizee. Unbiasedly, it tells us how much women, not just unsuccessful, but the well socially built and successful pass through such poisonous pains and fate in marriage. This and so many more are those scathing physical forms of domestic violence experiences women pass through daily.
Furthermore, the 2008 Demographic and Health Survey showed that over 30.5% of married women have experienced at least one or more forms of physical, emotional or sexual violence in their marriage. Sexual violence is no exception. It’s quite disheartening, at same time amusing to cognize that a number of married women are sexually assaulted by their husbands as well.
 
Have you started sensing warning signs that may indicate you have entered a toxic relationship. Few questions to engage your thoughts… Are you in a toxic relationship? How does this person make you feel? Do you feel safe in the presence of the person? Do you feel your children, partners, or others are safe? Have you ever felt emotional or psychological distress when interacting with the person? Do you feel that you are on guard around this individual?  Is the person manipulative or conniving?  Have you ever felt the person may push moral, ethical, or legal boundaries? Do you ever feel as though the person adds unnecessary challenges to your life? Do you feel emotionally drained after dealing with the person?
The above questions are so sternly weighty right now to be sorted and source for it’s answers and solutions. However if not, Are you willing to succumb to the negativity of the relationship? Are you willing to endure the anxieties, stress, and troubles that might engulf the relationship?.
Toxic relationships are not always made up of personality disorders or people with psychological ailment. Toxic relationships may be made up of good people with bad or poor relations.
If you expect to return a dysfunctional relationship to health through an expedited approach, the chances of achieving your goal is slim. If you're trying to return to better days within the relationship, then you may be returning to the same problems that you previously experienced. Rather, you should reach for a newness within your dysfunctional relationship. You should seek to obtain new insights, new communication styles and strategies, and new problem-solving skills. Do not expect to live as before, but rather expect to live a life better than you have ever experienced. Toxic relationships can be made up of poor choices, bad decisions, and wrong turns in life.
Significantly, all the above might just have been long covert problems which late Alizee might have been experiencing with her Danish hubby, but couldn’t disengage herself from it, due to one reason or the other. Alizee might have made those wrong decisions, negative choice preference which did cost not only her marriage, but most painfully her life and that of her lovely daughter Zetra in cold blood. It’s now earnest than ever to ask oneself questions regarding the  allegiance to such marriage, courtship, and relationship, which breeds nothing but  temporal poisonous atmosphere, which the end product is long lasting domestic violence, resulting to one’s ultimate cessation of life. In the words of Asa Brown “Toxic relationship is like a good pasta that has been overcooked. An overcooked pasta may have started off as eatable, but in time, if too much heat is applied, a good, eatable pasta becomes barely tolerable or unable to be consumed”.
You can either give negativity power over your life or you can choose happiness instead. Take control and choose to focus on what is important in your life. Those who cannot live fully often become destroyers of life.
 
Written By: Umeh Valentine

Source: https://mp3reverb.com/gist/toxic-relationship-and-domestic-violence-uncanny-end-of-aliezee-daughter/

Cc; Lalasticlala

chai FTC after yearsssssssssss. I love this. Nwamaikpe and co. show me love

,

Well written

Under no circumstance should anyone endure a partner with a violent temper you never can tell what they would do in one of their rages

This man should be over 70 sef
Was she murdered in her sleep ?

Marriage is not by FIRE or FORCE........ Once small small beat don dey enter, pack your bags and run, while you still have your life......

Na from slap - beat - kill.......... From clap to dance to heaven/hell..........

The child's name is Petra, not Zetra.

Best thing to do is leave that relationship or marriage. Nigerians like to pretend and act like their marriages are okay when they're suffering in silence. If you're a woman and the victim, have an escape plan and leave. Don't listen to anyone who tells you to endure it!

So sad

i came here to read comments but alas....

Summary pls

Seems Marriage is hard, I can see from what I read on daily basis.
I'm even scared of that thing now and most time it isn't unfair on guys ,watching what cee-c did to Tobi on BBN is just a good evidence of what am saying cos a hot tempered guy would have beaten the hell out of her and the whole world will still blame TOBI....
NO_TO_DOMESTIC_VIOLENCE

Nice write up. But I stopped reading when I got to the part that said women face greater domestic and sexual violence in marriages. This is absolutely untrue. FYI , men are victims of sexual and domestic abuse in marriages as much as women , its just that the domestic violence men face are usually under reported, they are not known. I mean , how would it look like a man going to a media house reporting his wife abusing him physically for over 5 years of marriage, doesn't feel right , men have their ego to protect. This issue isn't known to many people in the world of today , but I have seen and heard men being killed by their wives as a result of a domestic violence they suffered. So please Op and d rest of u'all that are misinformed about this. Women are no saints in this unfortunate situation. Both men and women are susceptible to domestic and sexual violence in their marriage, a case of who is suffering more will remain debatable till thy kingdom comes.
Rip to Alizee and her daughter , its a very sorry situation, my condolence to her family members. And I hope they get justice by having the Danish husband prosecuted in due time. #peace

The f^kin article is too long jaare. Haba......


Summary: domestic violence is not good. Shun it. End of story.

Anywoman who stays in a toxic marriage deserves to die. She kuku see her self aa worthless before. And her life is tied to what people would say or fear of being lonely

I'm almost certain that Alizee married the man for money nothing more. When she started seeing money from other sources she started cheating and doing all sorts of unimaginable things to hurt her husband.
She couldn't had married the man if he was poor, imagine the a lot difference. She must have offended and cheated on the man so much that the man had to murder her and her daughter to end the miserable union.

Lesson to our ladies, hussle and make something out of your life by yourself. Stop running after men for money or even go into marriage for money if you truly don't love the man. You will eventually cheat on the man you don't love and that will be the end of you the day your man finds out

Don't marry out of pride!Simple.



Don't marry him or her bcoz just to boast ur confidence,finance oo or otherwise.

Someone should pls help summarize

Pack your load. If he beats you. He will eventually kill you.

this is a forum. summarize all to a maximum of 10 lines. Nobody got time for your notes

Lexusgs430:
Marriage is not by FIRE or FORCE........ Once small small beat don dey enter, pack your bags and run, while you still have your life......

Na from slap - beat - kill.......... From clap to dance to heaven/hell..........

Women who are found of being verbally abusive and trying to unnecessarily dominate their husband's get beatings mostly the few that are unjustly abused are an exceptional issue, wen these days women are looking for children from their husband and money from sugar daddies and politicians.
The lesson here is this, control your mouth and tongue, it's written that the tongue is the smallest member of the body but most powerful, the power of life and death lies with it, killing your self in marriage is an option,
Nagging or harassing a drunk husband is not a wise action so as keeping him quiet when he's asking questions, like where is my food!

Go for counselling and learn how to handle situations that are combustible, not divorce the men who you feel will remarry or take care of you will desert you, a divorced woman is seen "most likely as an unruly woman who can't stay in marriage, hence a woman who has left before will leave again.

sagitariusbaby:
I'm almost certain that Alizee married the man for money nothing more. When she started seeing money from other sources she started cheating and doing all sorts of unimaginable things to hurt her husband.
She couldn't had married the man if he was poor, imagine the a lot difference. She must have offended and cheated on the man so much that the man had to murder her and her daughter to end the miserable union.

Lesson to our ladies, hussle and make something out of your life by yourself. Stop running after men for money or even go into marriage for money if you truly don't love the man. You will eventually cheat on the man you don't love and that will be the end of you the day your man finds out

If cheating was the main reason , the white man would have stated that with evidence after the murder incident !

I guess the woman discovered the man’s top secret and her daughter also overheard the secret too , that was why he killed both of them !

Devilish secret maybe

I'm really not so concerned about the woman but if I've got a chance to ask the man a question, why the innocent child?
Was he her biological father?
Did he just get to know that the child wasn't his?

TycoOn04:
Nice write up. But I stopped reading when I got to the part that said women face greater domestic and sexual violence in marriages. This is absolutely untrue. FYI , men are victims of sexual and domestic abuse in marriages as much as women , its just that the domestic violence men face are usually under reported, they are not known. I mean , how would it look like a man going to a media house reporting his wife abusing him physically for over 5 years of marriage, doesn't feel right , men have their ego to protect. This issue isn't known to many people in the world of today , but I have seen and heard men being killed by their wives as a result of a domestic violence they suffered. So please Op and d rest of u'all that are misinformed about this. Women are no saints in this unfortunate situation. Both men and women are susceptible to domestic and sexual violence in their marriage, a case of who is suffering more will remain debatable till thy kingdom comes.
Rip to Alizee and her daughter , its a very sorry situation, my condolence to her family members. And I hope they get justice by having the Danish husband prosecuted in due time. #peace

Had a friend in Nigeria who was stabbed with a Stake knife in the lower part of the back, narrowly missed the liver next was a champagne bottle on his head while watching football, he's still in that marriage, nobody on will know this but if he slaps her one day he will go to prison and will most likely be flogged by we men for slapping his wife, these are things we men endure, that's why fathers and father in laws tell their sons and son in laws to persevere and bear. If only women knew what we men go trough too, it just that women feel more pain and anger 3 1/2 times more than men so they react 7 times more than men do and talk 700 times more

Divorce Divorce Divorce when marriage is not working after all avenues fails to keep it. Do not listen to your Pastor saying God hates divorce.
Otherwise when the worst happens the Pastor will still say it's the will of God hmmmmm

please did they mentioned the oyinbo man going to death by firing squad in the long story

Tiwa Salwage made a good decision to divorce Tunji, atleast both of them and thier son are all alive.

I don't think Tiwa was being beaten?! I don't know
But abusive relationship is not only physical assault.
I believe in the Words of the Holy Bible and I know that
When God said he hates divorce in the book of Malachi
And when Jesus said what God has joined together let no man put as sunder
He was referring to marriages ordained by He Himself.
When God didn't join a man and his wife, please annul that union and run for your lives.
Staying in an abusive marriage is psuedo-suicide
Advice to both men and women
But it may mean you may have to stay on your own oh
As Apostle talk am.
Even Jesus talk say unfaithfulness fit make person comet
Even law under the Matrimonial causes Act 1970 of Nigeria talk say
Person wey e partner don commit adultery fit wake comet from the marriage
But only if he or she finds it unbearable.
So please don't bear any form of abuse physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual,
RUN LIKE DAVID RAN FROM SAUL
EVEN WHEN DAVID FIT BRUSH SAUL IN A FIST FIGHT OR SWORD FIGHT OR JAVELIN FIGHT
HE RAN
SO RUN
God will prevent you and I from having to run and be in wrong, toxic relationships, amen