amara sad black woman
Photo credit: GETTY IMAGES
Amara can almost touch her, this girl laughing in joyous wonder. In her mind’s eye, the girl twirls in the afternoon breeze, her face filled with undiluted joy that comes from finding happiness in unexpected circumstances and unexpected places. Amara can only stare her, unable to touch her, to be part of her joy. Then the image vanishes and she finds herself blinking at a little schoolgirl who wants to buy chic-choc vanilla flavored biscuits and a lollipop. As soon as the girl leaves, she picks the yellow custard bucket beside her and counts the few ten, twenty and fifty naira notes along with the money her little customer paid. She sighs. Three hundred naira. What is she going to do with just three hundred naira? The naira has crashed like the walls of Jericho.

She sighs again.

If Aunty Ifeoma can see her now, she will laugh her head off. She can picture her Aunty now, sprawled on one of her magnificent sofas in her sitting room, howling in that I told you so attitude. She would taunt her, daring her to look right in her eyes and confirm how market.

Amara shakes her head and chuckles regrettably. Market is bad, thank you very much, she thinks sarcastically. She has a hustling and unhappy husband, two perpetually hungry and underfed children and a small kiosk. And she has another one on the way. Amara wonders what happened to the girl she saw in her daydream; the girl she once was. She wants to have that girl back; wants to warn her not to allow herself get to her present condition.



It was not like her life was easy from the start. Her father had run off with a strange woman when she was still a foetus and was never heard from again...

https://www.litafrik.com/amara-episode1-the-girl/

She was on her way to the bus stop where she would board a bus that would take her home when an okada zoomed past her missing her by a few inches. She fell on the dirty road with her books scattered around her. She sat up in shock and slowly got to her feet brushing off the dust on her minor bruises and books. The okada stopped at a little distance, reversed and stopped in front of her. A young man in his early to mid-twenties, stepped out and went to her aid. She screamed invectives at him calling him every name she knew while he apologized profusely, picking and dusting her books. When she calmed down a bit, he offered to take her home...

https://www.litafrik.com/amara-episode2-herecomestheboy/

It was Aunty Ifeoma’s sharp eyes that first noticed the suspicious changes in her body. At first, Amara denied it but when it became glaringly obvious that she was pregnant, she confessed. The family could not believe it. Afulenu, who hurried to the city, did not bother hiding her disappointment and regret for persuading her daughter to take ‘this foolish girl’ to the city. As far as she was concerned, Amara was a disgrace, involving herself with an ordinary okada man -a Yoruba man for that matter, ha! Why couldn’t the stupid girl be smart enough to hook and get pregnant for one of those rich Igbo boys in Alaba market, eh? Tufiakwa!

https://www.litafrik.com/amara-episode3-busted/

The day she had found out about the pregnancy, she was devastated, lost, and scared. She had cried throughout the day and gone to sleep. That night, she had prepared Ayo’s favorite dish to sweeten the mood. She had expected him not to take the news well. What she didn’t expect was his volcanic reaction.

First, he choked on his eba. Next, he sent a tirade of insults that would make the devil blush, calling her a careless woman who should have protected herself against such ‘nonsense’. Amara imagined herself splitting her stomach open and placing the baby in her womb before informing ‘poor’ him of her pregnancy. Ayo continued his rants. He could barely provide for her and the children with the meager income he made from his okada. He wasn’t even sure the children would go to school. He hadn’t paid the loan he took when the eldest child came down with malaria. He hadn’t paid the rent for the month. And now there was another child on the way? Did she want to kill him before his time? As he spoke, his temper kept building and building until it reached a breathless crescendo. Then he walked out of the apartment leaving her stunned face behind.
He came back three days later to calmly inform her that she would have to get rid of the baby. He knew one Iya Agbomola in Ijebu. They would leave the children in their neighbour, Iya Ibeji’s care. Iya Agbomola could easily take of their problem and cheaply too. Amara could only stare at him in disbelief. Did he realize what he was saying? Didn’t he know that the ‘problem’ was their flesh and blood? That abortion was against everything she believed in? Did he not see how dangerous it was? It was unfair to her and especially the baby. He had curtly replied that it was equally unfair to bring in a child that they couldn’t provide for. Better it was never born.

Amara had desperately and tearfully pleaded with him to not make her do it. She would try to get another job to supplement the proceeds from her kiosk. He could do likewise and they would pool their resources together and manage the family. He could restart his music career, right?

He had snapped again. How could he make music when all he thought of everyday was how to provide for the family? Did she think it was easy to sign on a recording deal? Where will he get the money to release his single? Who listened to his type of music anyway?

“If you keep this baby,” he had threatened coldly, “you are on your own.”

For all episodes, visit www.litafrik.com

Please visit www.litafrik.com for all episodes and more