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Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! - Religion - Nairaland

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Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 5:27pm On Jul 04, 2018
This testimony is what happens when truth meets confusion and when love which was assumed as delusion breaks through the darkness of an atheists life. Happy reading smiley



I had no untapped, unanswered yearnings. All was well in the state of Denmark. And then it wasn’t.
NICOLE CLIFFE | MAY 20, 2016


I became a Christian on July 7, 2015, after a very pleasant adult life of firm atheism. I’ve found myself telling “the story” when people ask me about it—slightly tweaked for my audience, of course. When talking to non-theists, I do a lot of shrugging and “Crazy, right? Nothing has changed, though!” When talking to other Christians, it’s more, “Obviously it’s been very beautiful, and I am utterly changed by it.” But the story has gotten a little away from me in the telling.

As an atheist since college, I had already mellowed a bit over the previous two or three years, in the course of running a popular feminist website that publishes thoughtful pieces about religion. Like many atheists (who are generally lovely moral people like my father, who would refuse to enter heaven and instead wait outside with his Miles Davis LPs), I started out snarky and defensive about religion, but eventually came to think it was probably nice for people of faith to have faith. I held to that, even though the idea of a benign deity who created and loved us was obviously nonsense, and all that awaited us beyond the grave was joyful oblivion.

I know that sounds depressing, but I found the idea of life ending after death mildly reassuring in its finality
. I had started to meet more people of faith, having moved to Utah from Manhattan, and thought them frequently charming in their sweet delusion. I did not wish to believe. I had no untapped, unanswered yearnings. All was well in the state of Denmark. And then it wasn’t.

What I Already Knew

There are two different starting points to my conversion, and sometimes I omit the first one, because I think it gives people an answer I don’t want them to have. It is a simple story: I was going through a hard time. I was worried about my child. One time I said “Be with me” to an empty room. It was embarrassing. I didn’t know why I said it, or to whom. I brushed it off, I moved on, the situation resolved itself, I didn’t think about it again. I know how people hear that story: Oh, of course, Nicole was struggling and needed a larger framework for her life! That’s part of the truth, but it’s not the whole truth.

The second starting point is usually what I lead with. I was surfing the Internet and came across John Ortberg’s CT obituary for philosopher Dallas Willard. John’s daughters are dear friends, and I have always had a wonderful relationship with their parents, who struck me as sweetly deluded in their evangelical faith, so I clicked on the article.


Somebody once asked Dallas if he believed in total depravity.

“I believe in sufficient depravity,” he responded immediately.

What’s that?

“I believe that every human being is sufficiently depraved that when we get to heaven, no one will be able to say, ‘I merited this.’ ”


A few minutes into reading the piece, I burst into tears. Later that day, I burst into tears again. And the next day. While brushing my teeth, while falling asleep, while in the shower, while feeding my kids, I would burst into tears.

I should say here I am a happy, even-keeled soul. If this were the Middle Ages, I would be in a book under the heading “The Four Humors: Sanguine/Phlegmatic.”

Therefore, it was very unsettling to suddenly feel like a boat being tossed on the waves. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t frightened—I just had too many feelings. I decided to buy a Dallas Willard book to read anthropologically, of course. I read his Hearing God. I cried. I bought Lewis Smedes’s My God and I. I cried. I bought Sara Miles’s Take This Bread. I cried. It was getting out of hand. You just can’t go around crying all the time.


At this point, I reached a crossroads. I sat myself down and said: Okay, Nicole, you have two choices. Option One: you can stop reading books about Jesus. Option Two: you could think with greater intention about why you are overwhelmed by your emotions. It occurred to me that if Option Two proved fruitless, I could always return to Option One. So I emailed a friend who is a Christian, and I asked if we could talk about Jesus.

I instantly regretted sending that email and if humanly possible would have clawed it back through the Internet. Technology having failed me, my message reached its recipient. She said she would be very happy to talk to me about Jesus. You probably already know this, but Christians love talking about Jesus.


I spent the few days before our call feeling like an idiot, wondering what on earth I planned to ask her. Do you … like Jesus? What was Jesus’ deal? Why did he ice that fig tree?

And now we reach the part of the story that gets a bit hand-wavy. About an hour before our call, I knew: I believed in God. Worse, I was a Christian. It was the opposite of being punk rock.

Now, if you’ve been following along, you know already. I was crying constantly while thinking about Jesus because I had begun to believe that Jesus really was who he said he was, but for some reason, that idea had honestly not occurred to me. But then it did, as though it always had been true. So when my friend called, I told her, awkwardly, that I wanted to have a relationship with God, and we prayed, and giggled a bit, and cried a bit, and then she sent me a stack of Henri Nouwen books, and here we are today.


Since then, I have been dunked by a pastor in the Pacific Ocean while shivering in a too-small wetsuit. I have sung “Be Thou My Vision” and celebrated Communion on a beach, while weirded-out Californians tiptoed around me. I go to church. I pray. My politics have not changed; the fervency with which I try to live them out has. My husband is bemused by me, but supportive and loving.

No More Chill

I am occasionally asked by other Christians, “What happened during that hour?” I answer that God did not speak to me. Rather, like the protagonist in Memento putting his past together with Polaroids, I figured out what I already knew. What happened during that hour was the natural culmination of my coming to faith: I had been cracked open to the divine, I read books that I would have laughed at before the cracking, and the stars lined up and there was God, and then I knew, and then I said it out loud to a third party, and then I giggled.

This is why apologetics, in my opinion, are hugely unconvincing. (Dallas Willard, for the record, never debated unbelievers.) No one could have in a billion years of their gripping testimony or by showing me a radiant life of good deeds or through song or even the most beautiful of books brought me to Christ. I had to be tapped on the shoulder. I had to be taken to a place where books about God were something I could experience without distance. It was alchemical.

I have been asked if deciding to become a Christian ended my exciting new crying-multiple-times-a-day hobby. The truth is that I continue to cry a lot more than I did before either Be-With-Me-Gate or the Dallas Willard Incident. I am more undone by love, or kindness, or friendship than I would have thought possible. Last night I tried to explain who Henri Nouwen was to some visiting cousins, and they had to bring me Kleenex, which they did sweetly and cautiously, as though I might melt in front of them. This morning I read a piece in Texas Monthly that literally sank me to my knees at how broken this world is, and yet how stubbornly resilient and joyful we can be in the face of that brokenness. I never possessed much chill, to be honest. Now I have none whatsoever.

There are times I feel a bit like a medieval peasant, in that I believe wholly in God now, but don’t always do what he wants, or, like Scarlett O’Hara, put hard conversations with him off until I’ve done the thing I wanted to do. It’s a thrumming backdrop to the rest of my life. My Christian conversion has granted me no simplicity. It has complicated all of my relationships, changed how I feel about money, messed up my public persona, and made me wonder if I should be on Twitter at all.

Obviously, it’s been very beautiful.

Nicole Cliffe is cofounder and coeditor of the website The Toast and lives in Utah.

Credit:

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/june/nicole-cliffe-how-god-messed-up-my-happy-atheist-life.html

cc anas09, felixomor, sciencewatch, sonofthunder, Olaadegbu, muttleylaff, winner01,

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by johnydon22(m): 5:40pm On Jul 04, 2018
Lol. This is nice
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by adoyi8: 5:56pm On Jul 04, 2018
Faniliar story. please tag me when Hopefullandlord, Dalaman, Johnnydon22 or or any atheist i am familiar with converts to christianity.
BTW if instead of Utah she had moved to Jeddah in Saudi Arabia she would have become a muslim convert now. Allahu Akbar

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 5:58pm On Jul 04, 2018
adoyi8:
Faniliar story. please tag me when Hopefullandlord, Dalaman, Johnnydon22 or or any atheist i am familiar with converts to christianity.
BTW if instead of Utah she had moved to Jeddah in Saudi Arabia she would have become a muslim convert now. Allahu Akbar

Perhaps not. If you had read the story well you would see that it is fully decorated with love as the reason behind her conversion.

Such Love as found from Christ isn't found in Mohammed or Islam. So I would conclude that you are wrong with your assertion.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by hopefulLandlord: 6:39pm On Jul 04, 2018
adoyi8:
Faniliar story. please tag me when Hopefullandlord, Dalaman, Johnnydon22 or or any atheist i am familiar with converts to christianity.
BTW if instead of Utah she had moved to Jeddah in Saudi Arabia she would have become a muslim convert now. Allahu Akbar
Its a familiar story cuz it has been posted on Nairaland in 2016 before here https://www.nairaland.com/3134946/nicole-cliffe-how-god-messed
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by ScienceWatch: 7:03pm On Jul 04, 2018
BL you summarized the op beautifully.
Yes it is that unique love that conquers all.

Jesus said that no one comes to him unless they are sent by the Father.
There are signs that Nicole unknowingly went through that preparation before finally spiritually meeting the Messiah of the world.

The tears the cleansing of the heart from guilt and shame of denying the obvious truth.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by dalaman: 7:04pm On Jul 04, 2018
Butterflyleo:


Perhaps not. If you had read the story well you would see that it is fully decorated with love as the reason behind her conversion.

Such Love as found from Christ isn't found in Mohammed or Islam. So I would conclude that you are wrong with your assertion.

This deluded one keeps talking about some imaginary and elusive love as if we don't live among Christians. Love indeed. You live in Nigeria let's start from there. Which love do Nigerian Christians display that makes them stand out?

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by ScienceWatch: 7:38pm On Jul 04, 2018
hopefulLandlord:

Its a familiar story cuz it has been posted on Nairaland in 2016 before here https://www.nairaland.com/3134946/nicole-cliffe-how-god-messed
Correct. This story was posted by Winner01.
It is a great blessing to sincere TRUTH seekers that this deeply moving story is revived again.

It is also a blessing that Butterflyleo revived the Atheists Training Manuel here;

https://www.nairaland.com/4601231/atheist-finds-refuge-peace-christ#69128077

Well done BL.

2 Likes

Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by adoyi8: 9:14pm On Jul 04, 2018
Butterflyleo:


Perhaps not. If you had read the story well you would see that it is fully decorated with love as the reason behind her conversion.

Such Love as found from Christ isn't found in Mohammed or Islam. So I would conclude that you are wrong with your assertion.


Perhaps if you had read the story well instead of copying and pasting then you wouldnt have missed this part

' This is why apologetics, in my opinion, are hugely
unconvincing. (Dallas Willard, for the record, never
debated unbelievers.) No one could have in a
billion years of their gripping testimony or by
showing me a radiant life of good deeds or
through song or even the most beautiful of books
brought me to Christ. I had to be tapped on the
shoulder. I had to be taken to a place where
books about God were something I could
experience without distance. It was alchemical '

she converted because she was exposed to christian books at a time when she was facing challenges and the books probably made her feel purposeful. If she had been exposed to Islamic teaching at that that time she would have been a muslim convert now
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 9:21pm On Jul 04, 2018
adoyi8:


Perhaps if you had read the story well instead of copying and pasting then you wouldnt have missed this part

' This is why apologetics, in my opinion, are hugely
unconvincing. (Dallas Willard, for the record, never
debated unbelievers.) No one could have in a
billion years of their gripping testimony or by
showing me a radiant life of good deeds or
through song or even the most beautiful of books
brought me to Christ. I had to be tapped on the
shoulder. I had to be taken to a place where
books about God were something I could
experience without distance. It was alchemical '

she converted because she was exposed to christian books at a time when she was facing challenges and the books probably made her feel purposeful. If she had been exposed to Islamic teaching at that that time she would have been a muslim convert now

Perhaps you have a big problem with comprehension. You said she was exposed to christian books at a time when she was facing challenges and you posted a part of that as your proof.

Dude I read anything I put up prior to putting it up and this is also from what you pasted.

This is why apologetics, in my opinion, are hugely
unconvincing. (Dallas Willard, for the record, never
debated unbelievers.) No one could have in a
billion years of their gripping testimony or by
showing me a radiant life of good deeds or
through song or even the most beautiful of books
brought me to Christ. I had to be tapped on the
shoulder
.
I had to be taken to a place where
books about God were something I could
experience without distance. It was alchemical


Did you see that part in bold? No book brought her to Christ. She had to be "tapped on the shoulder". That's an expression which means, something had to get her undivided attention and that was the Love she felt after being exposed to what love really felt like.

She had a real, practical and tangible experience.
You can now stop with the argument.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by ScienceWatch: 10:06pm On Jul 04, 2018
adoyi8:



' This is why apologetics, in my opinion, are hugely unconvincing. (Dallas Willard, for the record, never debated unbelievers.)

No one could have in a billion years of their gripping testimony or by showing me a radiant life of good deeds or through song or even the most beautiful of books
brought me to Christ
Thanks for shouting this fact from the roof tops so atheists can hear the true reason why no true Christian will debate nor explain their faith directly to atheists.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by ScienceWatch: 10:07pm On Jul 04, 2018
adoyi8:



' This is why apologetics, in my opinion, are hugely unconvincing. (Dallas Willard, for the record, never debated unbelievers.)

No one could have in a billion years of their gripping testimony or by showing me a radiant life of good deeds or through song or even the most beautiful of books
brought me to Christ
Thanks for shouting this fact from the roof tops so atheists can hear the true reason why no true Christian will debate nor explain their faith directly to atheists.

The Holy Bible protects true believers from harvesting unripe fruit/atheists when it commands "DO NOT THROW YOUR PEARLS TO THE ATHEIST SWINE."

Jesus also wisely said, THE HARVEST IS READY......." Would He encourage his followers to go and pick unripe fruit ?

Go read BL's topic on - A warning to all Christians.
https://www.nairaland.com/4592174/warning-all-christians/1#69037132

Also read the Atheists Training Manuel here;

https://www.nairaland.com/4601231/atheist-finds-refuge-peace-christ#69128077

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by sonofthunder: 10:13pm On Jul 04, 2018
those possessed with the spirit of the Antichrist will not like this.
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by ScienceWatch: 11:35pm On Jul 04, 2018
sonofthunder:
those possessed with the spirit of the Antichrist will not like this.
correct sir. The angels in heaven rejoice mightily when even one soul is rescued from Satan's grip.

On the otherhand, demonic entities fill their followers with bitterness and hate because the kingdom of darkness has lost.
Would you agree after reading the Atheists Training Manuel that is a Manuel designed for those that prefer evil ?

View the Atheists Training Manuel here;

https://www.nairaland.com/4601231/atheist-finds-refuge-peace-christ#69128077

Butterflyleo reposted it as an educational tool.

2 Likes

Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by winner01(m): 12:03am On Jul 05, 2018
Great testimony. Glory be to God in the Highest. Amen.

2 Likes

Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 6:08am On Jul 05, 2018
A Great and beautiful testimony indeed.
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Maamin(m): 2:06pm On Jul 05, 2018
Good one
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Heathen777(m): 4:10pm On Jul 05, 2018
Funny how people get converted to religion through feelings, but to atheism in light of science, logic, and reason.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Heathen777(m): 4:15pm On Jul 05, 2018
ScienceWatch:
correct sir. The angels in heaven rejoice mightily when even one soul is rescued from Satan's grip.

On the otherhand, demonic entities fill their followers with bitterness and hate because the kingdom of darkness has lost.



Actually based on the rise of irreligion around the world, I think these little demonic thingies are winning wink
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by dalaman: 4:25pm On Jul 05, 2018
Heathen777:
Funny how people get converted to religion through feelings, but to atheism in light of science, logic, and reason.





Feelings like elusive love that nobody can point to (where is the love among Nigerian christians) or some personal feelings that is always elusive.
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 4:45pm On Jul 05, 2018
Heathen777:
Funny how people get converted to religion through feelings, but to atheism in light of science, logic, and reason.





So you admit that science and atheism are synonymous? However, science isn't the exclusive preserve of atheists and based on the fact that the entire world is now scientific, I expect the whole world to be atheists now but is that the case?

Actually, reverse is the case, statistics have shown that atheism is on the decline worldwide and theism on the increase so I guess you are loosing.

Also, logic is simply very low on the ladder of life.

I made this quote elsewhere and I would borrow it and use it here for you.

Trust and loyalty being the final arbiter for logic stands superior to logic so can only guide logic in the direction it does not trust and isn't absolutely loyal to. When it ever does apply logic to itself it does this as a means to further prove itself trustworthy and loyal because its foundation is already trusted and loyal in the eyes of the one doing the application.

----------- butterflyleo 2018 ©

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Heathen777(m): 5:11pm On Jul 05, 2018
Butterflyleo:


So you admit that science and atheism are synonymous? However, science isn't the exclusive preserve of atheists and based on the fact that the entire world is now scientific, I expect the whole world to be atheists now but is that the case?

Actually, reverse is the case, statistics have shown that atheism is on the decline worldwide and theism on the increase so I guess you are loosing.

Also, logic is simply very low on the ladder of life.

I made this quote elsewhere and I would borrow it and use it here for you.



----------- butterflyleo 2018 ©

In developed countries irreligiousity in the general population is actually higher than it was decades ago, but there's typically lower birthrates
compared to developing nations, and we all know developing nations tend to be more religious (and socially conservative) than developed nation.

So it's not that atheism is on the decline but rather more children end up born in religious house holds and get indoctrinated into that religion. It's actually on the increase technically as there are more atheist today (even in Nigeria) that there was 50 yrs ago.

*Trust and loyalty being the final arbiter for logic stands superior to logic so can only guide logic in the direction it does not trust and isn't absolutely loyal to. When it ever does apply logic to itself it does this as a means to further prove itself trustworthy and loyal because its foundation is already trusted and loyal in the eyes of the one doing the application.*

How is believing in sky fairies, talking snakes and a woman made from ribs logical ??
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by ScienceWatch: 5:11pm On Jul 05, 2018
Heathen777:


Actually based on the rise of irreligion around the world, I think these little demonic thingies are winning wink


You make a fair observation sir. But Jesus don't see winning in numbers.

If we examine from first principles, we find that only humans were created with absolute freedom to choose between LIGHT and DARK, when Jesus entered the scene he revealed something that perfectly answers your concern.

Jesus made a stunning revelation when he said that the road to heaven is narrow and few are on it. But the road leading to the gates of hell is wide and the majority are on it.

Jesus respects freedom of choice so much that he won't stop atheists from studying and practising their horrific deeds as outlined in the gruesome Atheists Training Manuel.

https://www.nairaland.com/4601231/atheist-finds-refuge-peace-christ#69128077

Thanks and deep gratitude goes to Butterflyleo for making it available in a spiritually safe place.

I call on all Christians and other Theists to Copy and paste this everywhere. Teach it at schools and churches so that this insanity can be exposed.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 5:48pm On Jul 05, 2018
[s]
Heathen777:


In developed countries irreligiousity in the general population is actually higher than it was decades ago, but there's typically lower birthrates
compared to developing nations, and we all know developing nations tend to be more religious (and socially conservative) than developed nation.

So it's not that atheism is on the decline but rather more children end up born in religious house holds and get indoctrinated into that religion. It's actually on the increase technically as there are more atheist today (even in Nigeria) that there was 50 yrs ago.[/s]

*Trust and loyalty being the final arbiter for logic stands superior to logic so can only guide logic in the direction it does not trust and isn't absolutely loyal to. When it ever does apply logic to itself it does this as a means to further prove itself trustworthy and loyal because its foundation is already trusted and loyal in the eyes of the one doing the application.*

How is believing in sky fairies, talking snakes and a woman made from ribs logical ??

As expected you missed the whole point.

2 Likes

Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 6:44pm On Jul 05, 2018
Heathen777:


In developed countries irreligiousity in the general population is actually higher than it was decades ago, but there's typically lower birthrates
compared to developing nations, and we all know developing nations tend to be more religious (and socially conservative) than developed nation.

So it's not that atheism is on the decline but rather more children end up born in religious house holds and get indoctrinated into that religion. It's actually on the increase technically as there are more atheist today (even in Nigeria) that there was 50 yrs ago.

*Trust and loyalty being the final arbiter for logic stands superior to logic so can only guide logic in the direction it does not trust and isn't absolutely loyal to. When it ever does apply logic to itself it does this as a means to further prove itself trustworthy and loyal because its foundation is already trusted and loyal in the eyes of the one doing the application.*

How is believing in sky fairies, talking snakes and a woman made from ribs logical ??

You lied earlier when you said North Korea isn't really an atheist country.

This is from wikipedia.


The majority of Marxist–Leninist states followed similar policies from 1917.[3][5][6][7][8][9] The Russian Soviet Federative Socialist Republic (1917–1991), and the Soviet Union (1922–1991) more broadly, had a long history of state atheism, whereby those seeking social success generally had to profess atheism and to stay away from houses of worship; this trend became especially militant during the middle Stalinist era from 1929 to 1939. The Soviet Union attempted to suppress public religious expression over wide areas of its influence, including places such as central Asia. Currently states such as China, North Korea and Vietnam are officially atheist

Also here is a map showing the spread of state atheism all over the world. The deep red area is where it is currently being practiced while the light red zones were FORMERLY atheist nations.

When I tell you atheism is on the decline you cook up stories.

See how the whole world has naturally isolated atheism.

Even from the wikipedia extract you can see that the chief evangelist for atheism was the soviet union when it was under state atheism but today Almighty soviet union is a Christian country.

Glory be to God.



Courtesy wikipedia.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by superhumanist(m): 7:54pm On Jul 05, 2018
grin

Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by sonofthunder: 8:38pm On Jul 05, 2018
Butterflyleo:


So you admit that science and atheism are synonymous? However, science isn't the exclusive preserve of atheists and based on the fact that the entire world is now scientific, I expect the whole world to be atheists now but is that the case?

Actually, reverse is the case, statistics have shown that atheism is on the decline worldwide and theism on the increase so I guess you are loosing.

Also, logic is simply very low on the ladder of life.

I made this quote elsewhere and I would borrow it and use it here for you.



----------- butterflyleo 2018 ©
Spot on sir... Fact remains that atheism is dead, buried and forgotten. All that remains is dust about to be washed off with the coming rain.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by CAPSLOCKED: 9:16pm On Jul 05, 2018
Heathen777:
Funny how people get converted to religion through feelings, but to atheism in light of science, logic, and reason.






THROUGH FEELINGS; FEAR, THREATS, FALSEHOOD, INDOCTRINATION.

A SINGLE DOSE OF COMMON SENSE IS ALL THAT IS NEEDED TO BE ENLIGHTENED.

2 Likes

Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 3:29pm On Jul 06, 2018
God messed it up real good smiley
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Nobody: 6:41pm On Jul 06, 2018
Butterflyleo:


Perhaps not. If you had read the story well you would see that it is fully decorated with love as the reason behind her conversion.

Such Love as found from Christ isn't found in Mohammed or Islam. So I would conclude that you are wrong with your assertion.



Going on, they are already disputing which of the people(muhammad and jesus) in history shows more love.
Typical of muslim and christians or should I say it the battle of which religion is better



Uhmmm
Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Anas09: 8:02pm On Jul 07, 2018
Butterflyleo:
This testimony is what happens when truth meets confusion and when love which was assumed as delusion breaks through the darkness of an atheists life. Happy reading smiley



I had no untapped, unanswered yearnings. All was well in the state of Denmark. And then it wasn’t.
NICOLE CLIFFE | MAY 20, 2016


I became a Christian on July 7, 2015, after a very pleasant adult life of firm atheism. I’ve found myself telling “the story” when people ask me about it—slightly tweaked for my audience, of course. When talking to non-theists, I do a lot of shrugging and “Crazy, right? Nothing has changed, though!” When talking to other Christians, it’s more, “Obviously it’s been very beautiful, and I am utterly changed by it.” But the story has gotten a little away from me in the telling.

As an atheist since college, I had already mellowed a bit over the previous two or three years, in the course of running a popular feminist website that publishes thoughtful pieces about religion. Like many atheists (who are generally lovely moral people like my father, who would refuse to enter heaven and instead wait outside with his Miles Davis LPs), I started out snarky and defensive about religion, but eventually came to think it was probably nice for people of faith to have faith. I held to that, even though the idea of a benign deity who created and loved us was obviously nonsense, and all that awaited us beyond the grave was joyful oblivion.

I know that sounds depressing, but I found the idea of life ending after death mildly reassuring in its finality
. I had started to meet more people of faith, having moved to Utah from Manhattan, and thought them frequently charming in their sweet delusion. I did not wish to believe. I had no untapped, unanswered yearnings. All was well in the state of Denmark. And then it wasn’t.

What I Already Knew

There are two different starting points to my conversion, and sometimes I omit the first one, because I think it gives people an answer I don’t want them to have. It is a simple story: I was going through a hard time. I was worried about my child. One time I said “Be with me” to an empty room. It was embarrassing. I didn’t know why I said it, or to whom. I brushed it off, I moved on, the situation resolved itself, I didn’t think about it again. I know how people hear that story: Oh, of course, Nicole was struggling and needed a larger framework for her life! That’s part of the truth, but it’s not the whole truth.

The second starting point is usually what I lead with. I was surfing the Internet and came across John Ortberg’s CT obituary for philosopher Dallas Willard. John’s daughters are dear friends, and I have always had a wonderful relationship with their parents, who struck me as sweetly deluded in their evangelical faith, so I clicked on the article.


Somebody once asked Dallas if he believed in total depravity.

“I believe in sufficient depravity,” he responded immediately.

What’s that?

“I believe that every human being is sufficiently depraved that when we get to heaven, no one will be able to say, ‘I merited this.’ ”


A few minutes into reading the piece, I burst into tears. Later that day, I burst into tears again. And the next day. While brushing my teeth, while falling asleep, while in the shower, while feeding my kids, I would burst into tears.

I should say here I am a happy, even-keeled soul. If this were the Middle Ages, I would be in a book under the heading “The Four Humors: Sanguine/Phlegmatic.”

Therefore, it was very unsettling to suddenly feel like a boat being tossed on the waves. I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t frightened—I just had too many feelings. I decided to buy a Dallas Willard book to read anthropologically, of course. I read his Hearing God. I cried. I bought Lewis Smedes’s My God and I. I cried. I bought Sara Miles’s Take This Bread. I cried. It was getting out of hand. You just can’t go around crying all the time.


At this point, I reached a crossroads. I sat myself down and said: Okay, Nicole, you have two choices. Option One: you can stop reading books about Jesus. Option Two: you could think with greater intention about why you are overwhelmed by your emotions. It occurred to me that if Option Two proved fruitless, I could always return to Option One. So I emailed a friend who is a Christian, and I asked if we could talk about Jesus.

I instantly regretted sending that email and if humanly possible would have clawed it back through the Internet. Technology having failed me, my message reached its recipient. She said she would be very happy to talk to me about Jesus. You probably already know this, but Christians love talking about Jesus.


I spent the few days before our call feeling like an idiot, wondering what on earth I planned to ask her. Do you … like Jesus? What was Jesus’ deal? Why did he ice that fig tree?

And now we reach the part of the story that gets a bit hand-wavy. About an hour before our call, I knew: I believed in God. Worse, I was a Christian. It was the opposite of being punk rock.

Now, if you’ve been following along, you know already. I was crying constantly while thinking about Jesus because I had begun to believe that Jesus really was who he said he was, but for some reason, that idea had honestly not occurred to me. But then it did, as though it always had been true. So when my friend called, I told her, awkwardly, that I wanted to have a relationship with God, and we prayed, and giggled a bit, and cried a bit, and then she sent me a stack of Henri Nouwen books, and here we are today.


Since then, I have been dunked by a pastor in the Pacific Ocean while shivering in a too-small wetsuit. I have sung “Be Thou My Vision” and celebrated Communion on a beach, while weirded-out Californians tiptoed around me. I go to church. I pray. My politics have not changed; the fervency with which I try to live them out has. My husband is bemused by me, but supportive and loving.

No More Chill

I am occasionally asked by other Christians, “What happened during that hour?” I answer that God did not speak to me. Rather, like the protagonist in Memento putting his past together with Polaroids, I figured out what I already knew. What happened during that hour was the natural culmination of my coming to faith: I had been cracked open to the divine, I read books that I would have laughed at before the cracking, and the stars lined up and there was God, and then I knew, and then I said it out loud to a third party, and then I giggled.

This is why apologetics, in my opinion, are hugely unconvincing. (Dallas Willard, for the record, never debated unbelievers.) No one could have in a billion years of their gripping testimony or by showing me a radiant life of good deeds or through song or even the most beautiful of books brought me to Christ. I had to be tapped on the shoulder. I had to be taken to a place where books about God were something I could experience without distance. It was alchemical.

I have been asked if deciding to become a Christian ended my exciting new crying-multiple-times-a-day hobby. The truth is that I continue to cry a lot more than I did before either Be-With-Me-Gate or the Dallas Willard Incident. I am more undone by love, or kindness, or friendship than I would have thought possible. Last night I tried to explain who Henri Nouwen was to some visiting cousins, and they had to bring me Kleenex, which they did sweetly and cautiously, as though I might melt in front of them. This morning I read a piece in Texas Monthly that literally sank me to my knees at how broken this world is, and yet how stubbornly resilient and joyful we can be in the face of that brokenness. I never possessed much chill, to be honest. Now I have none whatsoever.

There are times I feel a bit like a medieval peasant, in that I believe wholly in God now, but don’t always do what he wants, or, like Scarlett O’Hara, put hard conversations with him off until I’ve done the thing I wanted to do. It’s a thrumming backdrop to the rest of my life. My Christian conversion has granted me no simplicity. It has complicated all of my relationships, changed how I feel about money, messed up my public persona, and made me wonder if I should be on Twitter at all.

Obviously, it’s been very beautiful.

Nicole Cliffe is cofounder and coeditor of the website The Toast and lives in Utah.

Credit:

https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/june/nicole-cliffe-how-god-messed-up-my-happy-atheist-life.html

cc anas09, felixomor, sciencewatch, sonofthunder, Olaadegbu, muttleylaff, winner01,
My heart just dey sweet like Sugar. I'm happy reading these testimonies because this is my personal outcry at the Master's feet.
Father, across the nations of the world, anyone ordained for salvation, give them personal encounters that no man or anything can dissuade them. It doesn't matter who they are now or what they are doing now. Whether they are prostitutes, atheist/satanists, Armed bandits, hateful Muslims, ritual killers or New Agers, Lord, pull them out like a branch from the fire.

These testimonies are pointers that God answers prayers. I'm encouraged. I will pray more.

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Re: Nicole Cliffe: How God Messed Up My Happy Atheist Life. Must Read For All! by Butterflyleo: 8:11pm On Jul 07, 2018
Anas09:

My heart just dey sweet like Sugar. I'm happy reading these testimonies because this is my personal outcry at the Master's feet.
Father, across the nations of the world, anyone ordained for salvation, give them personal encounters that no man or anything can dissuade them. It doesn't matter who they are now or what they are doing now. Whether they are prostitutes, atheist/satanists, Armed bandits, hateful Muslims, ritual killers or New Agers, Lord, pull them out like a branch from the fire.

These testimonies are pointers that God answers prayers. I'm encouraged. I will pray more.

Pray sister! pray! The power in prayer done out of love is amazing. I read somewhere how a certain atheist named Kirsten came Christ through the prayers of her friends who wouldn't give up on her and she submitted to God eventually and is currently loving her God walk.

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