Where or how do i even start this story.......Anyway let me start from the Genesis...

So, it was a Friday, and i was about to close from work. As i was clearing my desk preparing to head out, I thought to my self "What am i going to do this Friday night, has i had absolute "zero plans"

I decide i would just chill out in the crib, eat some Shawama and watch a good movie....I quickly looked-up my favorite movie download site and found one of the latest movies that i had been waiting to get a good blue-ray copy of, within mins i had downloaded it and was out the front door.

Whistling to my self in anticipation of savoring some pallet destroying Shawama, unknown to me that an adventure was just about to start.

I got to my favourite shawama spot with a smile on my face, due to the fact that the usual crowd was not there, which meant i would get my order fast and get down to my friday groove.

I made my order and was just thinking of what to drink when the first attack occured......hmmm

.

Nnaà come and finish your story biko

I felt something hit my chest....now I was wearing a jacket on my shirt with an inner white tee-shirt....but somehow whatever hit me bypassed the Jacket, my shirt, T-shirt and managed to land right on my chest

I felt around with my hand but did not feel anything....so i dismissed it, that it must have been my imagination and continued contemplating what drink i should get......then it happened..

I suddenly felt a sharp pain that nearly rendered me disabled....I grabbed at the spot on my chest, at this point I knew the enemies had found my address....

I removed my hand from my chest to access the situation, immediately another feroucious attack followed near my stomach...

I grabbed the area as the mother of all pain flowed through my nervous system.....and with my second hand covered my mouth to stop my little girl screams from being made public.....

With silent prayers, contemplating how to deal with this village ambassador...I decided attack was the best form of defense...so I squeezed, twisted and squashed, hoping i would be able to send this village ambassador to the depths of hell....

After a few minutes of squeezing, twisting and squashing, i removed my hand from my stomach, hoping the enemy had been defeated...

I suddenly felt this village ambassador moving and about to cross into my boxers......In my subconscious I screamed.......

I grabbed at it, stopping it from heading to the frontiers of space.....Then my mind began to wax, do I pull off my jacket, shirt, singlet and disgrace myself in front of all my fans......(mans not hot)

Lets say I even had akpobi (six packs) i wouldn't have minded.....Is this how the village militants want to test my defense....

My mind started wandering about all the people i had ever offended in my life....which one of them could have launched this missile

This was the point that I knew my God is bigger than any villige miltant...In my distress a still voice showed me a little dark spot in a corner and told me to go there and tuck out my shirt....

At first I was like haaaa...if i commot hand, wahala go dey ooo

Then I stilled my mind, went to the corner and untucked my shirt and behold a small bullet ANT landed on the floor....

My eyes widening with fury and flames and with every ounce of force i could muster I stepped on it with my over sized sanchoz....

Just to tell you that this ant was sent on a mission, it refused to die......

Immediately I heard a still voice singing Ayefele in my mind (march am, march am, march am)....I began to stamp and stamp until there was no difference between the ant and the grains of sand on the floor....

I tucked in my shirt, gathered my self just in time to collect my shawama.....thanked my Father in heaven and had myself a fantastic Friday night while showing the village warriors my middle finger......

the only thing left is for u to enter market now!! mtsww!

There I was thinking you were having a heart attack! Biko try to live right o oga.

chii8:
Nnaà come and finish your story biko

I have finish it ooo

sisisioge:


There I was thinking you were having a heart attack! Biko try to live right o oga.

This guy you are a master in the use of hyperbole, euphemism, ....

alhassanyusuf29:
the only thing left is for u to enter market now!! mtsww!

Dan lada anobi wana.....how

DaniDani:
This guy you are a master in the use of hyperbole, euphemism, ....

thanks bro......we still be learner....

How is this thread relevant to the family section?

@op: why not try the Sports Section?

Nice one, I don laff tire

EfemenaXY:
How is this thread relevant to the family section?

@op: why not try the Sports Section?

Because sometimes family life can be stressful...and a good laugh/smile helps soothe the soul......

MurderX:
Nice one, I don laff tire

Glad you enjoyed it

hmmm