Social media validation and inconsiderate pursuit of wealth / materialism.

The bane of this generation!!!

A well bonded family is just as much wealth / resource as a house. And you can have both- with some application of wisdom!!!

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

JoannaSedley:
This is exactly what she wrote. There is no true story here.

Your ego has destroyed your home oga.

I wish she would woman up and divorce your sorry as.as.

Hi,,, Your signature... do you have a PDF version of the book?

Ziggylady:
@op your wife said the same thing you are claiming to 'expose' ..You are really a very wicked,proud and self-centred fellow from your write-up....Your wife was wise enough to put her name on a project she clearly contributed more to,that is why your 'leave-my-house threats suddenly became a joke..

.Your subsequent insistance on her changing the names on the papers to yours ALONE smacks iof massive fraud

Grow up and go fix your martiage..stop trying to distabilise the life of your kids!

U go about throwing tantrums around on social media and telling a man who can house u to grow up. Continue. Stop abusing people here, I tells bad on ur family where u come from

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

My humble submission.

1) marriages pass thru phases and the phase you and your wife is determines the future of the marriage. Pls talk things out with ur wife.

2)probably you acted like most men does when it comes to msrriage, which is ; "i can can spend money more on my family than yours ". Am not disputing the fact that ur half went on ur dad 's mefication but be honest if it were her would you had allowed use her half for her parents mefication. You probably would have told to give some certain amt. And if this is the case , she must have queried herdelf on what the future holds and did what she did .

3)that she used her name didnt mean she stopped loving you but its a future security should incase what you did or said by asking her to leave ur house comes up.

4)oga , women are moved by what they hear and you stopped telling her how much you appreciate her effort ,started having harmless friends like you said . Some whom you sometimes compliment and of cos she felt threatened of her position and ur Love. So stop all you did or do which made her to question your integrity .

5) you sound like one who doesnt apologise when he is wrong but maybe buys gifts to makeup, and she wil forgive and you wil still do same thing again. Oga things like this can make even the softest, most forgiving woman to harbour resentments ,and the day she will explode, you will marvel at the depth of bitterness from her mouth and i guess this is why you where shocked she insulted you and family members together .
You really pushed her by telling her to leave the house and her full bitterness came up. Show ur wife love and make her fill important again.

6)finally quarel brings out the worst in ppl ,so you showed her what she feared most by telling her to leave ur house and belives putting ur family ,s need most is the reason she did what she did. Pks you guys should make up, dont allow urself think you cant beg her .if this marriage is important to you then put pride aside , call your wife and thrash things out . Let her unburden her years accumulated resentment out and make her know that there is no other her if you claim you dont have another .

Ogwula mu na onu.

dabiton:
I think you [s]Oga are very childish for bringing 'your side of the story' to complete strangers on social media just like your wife did.
I blame you for announcing your home to strangers, mostly unmarried kids to judge. So what did you hope to get by washing your dirty linen in public?
Now go back home, have a re-think, accept where things got wrong on your own path and get to work rebuilding the home YOU destroyed.
I am a married man and the only advice I will give you is that. [/s]

Make I no pour out wetin dey my mind but just be careful in order not to aggravate an already tensed situation.

Marvel1206:

1. She got the property (landed) - One
2. She did the paper works - Two
3. She started building - Three

4. He spent it on his Dad's ailing health
5 Used the the remaining cash to complete the house they both had agreed to equally build after she has built the most part.
6 Since the almost completed building required little funds to complete, he spent it on his parents' house

[s]4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house[/s]

What would you (being the man) have done in such a situation?

An illness that requires being flown out should be considered serious and for me, treatment should be top priority

They made the mistake from the beginning, why should they split the money into equal half, they should have sat down and the man only took part of it for his dad's treatment while they start the building with the remaining. The way the money was shared shows they are free to do anything with their money and it's their personal stuff. That is my view anyway

Eketem:
Hmmm, while I understand your choice to break the marriage I don't understand wanting to be away from your kids because they didn't offend you. Yes you say you will ask them to come over when you move but how will they keep moving back and forth seperate towns because their parents cannot be adults about a bad situation.

They have school and probably family, you can be seperated and share custody without necessarily moving.

As for your story with your wife, you should not have told her to get out of a house you both built, you could have driven out spent a few days away if you were upset as you should be with a nagging wife cursing your parents but not to tell her to get out of a house she contributed to build.


You are both adults I wish you the best apart, my only concern is you taking an extreme position of leaving town that may affect the kids, you can stay in the same town and be seperated so the kids can enjoy having you both in their lives.

You both need to provide for them and ensure they do not suffer discomfort because two of you cannot live together, they didn't ask to be born but they need both parents even if seperated

you said it all, but God has a way of revealing things, if he didn't make that statement, he might not have found out about her secret and the last time I remember, my dad bought everything he has in my mom's name at least he (my dad) is the one that put the name there and not she doing it secretly.

tartarus:
And some nairaland males will hop on this thread and support this "husband" cos they see every marital issue as males vs females SMH.

Please guys say the truth and shame the devil! Women are human beings for crying out loud!

The lady wasn't wise at all for putting only her name on the document initially.. The onus is on the woman to build her home (Proverbs 14:1), she should've known that doing such and moreso without the husband having the slightest inkling is all shades of wrong, reason i say she's not wise.. She seems stubborn as well.

That said, i see the man has a huge ego, lacks understanding as well.. Whatever they were on about was normal as couples usually have issues eventhough I believe they should be very mindful what they say to each other coz spoken words can never be retracted, the man should have handled the situation with diplomacy upon the wife's revelation..

He failed, the woman also.. But i believe their union isn't past redemption.. The lady offered to add his name to the docs, that's fair enough if you ask me.. He should bottle up his pride and go back to his family.

One thing i cn sincerely argue wit my knowledge is majority of d commenters here sayin he wouldn't av told her to move out of d house "ARE NOT MARRIED".

....If u're married n av bn in marriage,...u'll knw such statements holds no water becos it is once in a while said wen ders heated arguments. Yet, dey stil grow stronger in love.

Wat i see here in der issue is "PRIDE" being incharge bt believe me u, dey'll reconcile & reunite.

By d tym dem stay 2 months without each other, der brain go reset to factory settings. Especially as children don involve.

Dem die there!!

Culled frm an experienced married man o.

ME

14yrs no be beans!!

Hmmm! Mr husband, you are not wise. You ask me why? You left a house you claimed belong to you and your wife simply because she abused you. Can you see yourself now? Because of your pride and ego you are about destroying what you have laboured for over the years.

The way I see you, you are not wise at all. The problem with your marriage didn't start now but long time ago. Think about this, you and your wife did business together and you are sharing the money, shouldn't the money be for the family in the first place and you decide on what to do with it as the head of the family?

Now, you are forming 'I don't believe in divorce ,' but you are tilting toward separation. Haba! There is no wisdom in your decision. It's only a weakling of a man that runs away from problems. Problems are meant to be solved and not to run away from. Go back home and fix your marriage before it is too late. You have a good wife. Only you need to be man enough to lead and assure her that with you the future is alright for both of you and your children.

ExtraExtra:
Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved because they judged based on what was said and the individual involved needed public validation for her wrong doing, a public display i dont approve of but since external persons and relations are already involved i'd like to clear some details.

"Dee" comes from a very well to do family while i dont so when we got married, i made her feel we are in this together, not one above the other but as partners in EVERYTHING. To be fair to her she brought up the business idea we did years ago, in other to put forth money to start up, i made sure i had equal money as her for it, goal was to own a property, build et al. Unfortunately my dad's ailing health deteriorated to the extent that he had to be flown out, when the profit came, i told her and she agreed, she decided we split it into two so she use hers for the initial plan. As the first born i went with my dad, back here she got the property and started building, when i came back the remaining money with me was used to complete it, what was left was used for my parents house. Being a trust worthy person i feel she is, i didnt bother to check documents cos i felt she would do the right thing by putting both our names which she kept in a bank.

Now, i work and own other businesses so i'm always in contact with alot of people from both genders so to her she feels i may have lost guard by cheating which is not true: i dont have password on my phones, i always make and receive calls right in front of her but she still think i'm hiding something and that was the genesis of the problem weeks ago, i rebuked her to cut it out immediately but she was out for blood, she insulted me like never before, when i didnt give her face, she extended her TOXIC words to my parents, my family, my background and my personality, that was when i lost it, if not for my cousin that was there i would have hit her, out of anger i told her to get the hell out of the house which of course i didnt mean, then she shocked me saying the house is ONLY in her name, i was numb and speechless, in other for me not to react in a brutal way i left the house, told her i would never step there again if she doesnt change it to my name ONLY. My cousin who was there when it happened told my people, they called me so i had to explain things, right now her family knows what happened and none is supporting her.

YES i said she should put my name only cos she belittled and betrayed me which tells me if it was in both our names she will raise shoulder and feel above me.YES i requested for transfer and i will go through with it, i cannot be away from my kids and still be in the same state, it doesnt make, when it is sucessful, i will get a place conducive amd comfortable for my kids, they will be with me. I told her recently not to bother with the name change anymore, she can have the house all to herself for all i care.

I wont divorce her because i dont believe in that, once i move with the kids she can come along if she wants but right now we are seperated. I wanted a partner, she displayed stupidity not smartness, what the future holds i dont know, she made her bed she should lay on it.

My humble submission.

1) marriages pass thru phases and the phase you and your wife is determines the future of the marriage. Pls talk things out with ur wife.

2)probably you acted like most men does when it comes to marriage, which is ; "i can spend money more on my family than yours ". Am not disputing the fact that ur half went on ur dad 's medication but be honest if it were hers would you had allowed her to use her half for her parents medication. You probably would have told her to give some certain amt. And if this were the case , she must have queried herself on what the future holds and did what she did .

3)that she used her name dosent mean she stopped loving you but its for future security should incase what you did or said by asking her to leave ur house comes up.

4)oga , women are moved by what they hear and you stopped telling her how much you appreciate her effort ,started having harmless friends like you said . Some whom you sometimes compliment and of cos she felt threatened of her position and ur Love. So stop all you did or do which made her to question your integrity .

5) you sound like one who doesnt apologise when he is wrong but maybe buys gifts to makeup, and she wil forgive and you wil still do same thing again. Oga things like this can make even the softest, most forgiving woman to harbour resentments ,and the day she will explode, you will marvel at the depth of bitterness from her mouth and i guess this is why you where shocked she insulted you and family members together .
You really pushed her by telling her to leave the house and her full bitterness came up. Show ur wife love and make her fill important again.

6)finally quarel brings out the worst in ppl ,so you showed her what she feared most by telling her to leave ur house and belives putting ur family ,s need most is the reason she did what she did. Pks you guys should make up, dont allow urself think you cant beg her .if this marriage is important to you then put pride aside , call your wife and thrash things out . Let her unburden her years accumulated resentment out and make her know that there is no other her if you claim you dont have another .

Ogwula mu na onu.

Well my beloved brother, I hope you are married!
I said he should speak to his wife, the most important party in the marriage. I guarantee you he won't have any heart ache if he works it out with her!
I see all your points though but believe me NEVER BRING IN THIRD PARTIES TO YOUR HOME UNLESS YOU HAVE ARE COMFORTABLE HAVING "ménage à trois" when times are good...

utenwuson:
this is exactly what is causing cardiac arrest, when u keep piling up issues and saying you not gonna tell no one, high BP will kill u, he is a real man, the woman has rubbished his family costume she's from a well to do background, the only to rebuild his sanity and life is to start all over, go rent a new house, while building his, and stay there, if the wife us still interested in the Ed marriage, she knows what to do... meet him in his house not in her house.

cococandy:
May we never meet wicked people in our lives amen

May all the people supporting this in the name of being hypocritical marriage advocates experience the same type of loss and be denied the fruits of their hard work. I don’t know how people can blatantly root for unfairness and injustice

Seems you hold the destiny of nairalanders in ur palm,lol.So who do I think is wrong here?
Take ur bitterness somewhere else abeg

My advise to you as your follow family man. I will be very honest with you here. You have been living with her for years and I believe that this is not the first time both of you encountered problem. It normal to feel the way you did and it is normal for a wife to misunderstand you. She must be regretting what she have done and everything that she have ever said by now. Please go back home and live your normal life with your loving family and bring back the happiness. No need for unnecessary expenses.

Every family man is carrying a very big cross and we can not run away from it. NO ONE MISUNDERSTANDS A MAN BETTER THAN HIS WIFE. She loves you go back home, with a little time everything will fall in place. Don't listen to people that will encourage you to run out of your home.

Please, please, please go back home.

Lots of kids won't understand what is playing out here.

I've seen too many aunties and mothers who have mostly taken their husband from nothing to something, building a family fortune only for them to get kicked out with their kids because of one misunderstanding or the other. Some get kicked out of empires they built when the man dies because oga was the alpha and omega with his name alone on all documents.

This woman could have done that job alone or with an outsider and pocketed the millions of money or used it to buy properties all over the place but she wanted to build her husband up. After all, she's from a richer background so she brings the deal home to make it look like Oga is a money making Boss. It is absurd that she didn't hide the whole cake but at a point, decides to keep a portion for herself...trust me, she started seeing the handwriting from Oga.

Then one day, he decides to embarrass the woman in front of his cousin by kicking her out but the script flips and oga is embarrassed before his cousin. All hell is let loose.

Oga, what is your job? Can't you channel this your anger into taking a loan or mortgage facility to build another house for the family? Why not put the house in your children's trust, why your name alone?

Ziggylady:



I laugh at the thought-process of some of you who may not know what life can throw in your faces..So if you are married and lose your job along the line meanwhile your wife is working and making money..you will stop eating because she is the one buying the food??..

Unfortunately your bragaddio ends here because in real life and in this buhari recession and hardship,millions of homes are being sustained by the women...and no one knows except you are told or stay with them

this man isn't hungry, he's smart and working couple with businesses he is into, yet the woman throw it at his face, he bruises hi ego, the thing call man in him dies if he had stayed back, he will be a toothless bulldog, nothing pisses a man off like hearing your wife insult your parents cos there are poor, I love and pray he stand by the decision.

now to what u said, yes, the economy may have turn the pendulum of spending for the home towards the woman in the house that doesn't mean the man will just fold arms, cos eventually the woman will tell him to his face to man up no matter how lovely she is.

sisisioge:


True...outside their domestic dirty talks, she's a good woman. All those years she didn't squander her share of the profit o. She oversaw the project from start to finish, otherwise oga would have had to handle the papers and realized the fault in the title. And, life would just have been as usual if only oga didn't say she should get out of the house. May God bless us with fair people is a huge prayer my brother.

so helping out his dad who was very sick was squandering right ? What kinda human being are you ?

metro10:
Mr. Man, you are very deceptive. I won’t buy your lies. I know the game you were playing on your woman. My dad did play that same game on my mother, until she wised-up.

You used your part to take care of your dad and used the rest to build a home for your parent and still expect to be treated as co equal in the real estate? Others can lie to you to inflate your ego, I won’t. You did tell her to leave the house, mistake number one. We wouldn’t be talking about this this way today, if she was dumb and stupid not to have used her name. The lady would be on the street today with no where to go. You’re here telling us it was a joke. Stop lying. I believe you have an affair. You want to push her out, bring in another lady and treat her like a fool.

She was wise and thank God for that. My dad did the same thing to my mother. He will use her cars, trash them and still push her out. She built a house, he drove her out, sold the house and messed her up. Finally, she got some common sense, built another house and gave me the documents as her first son. That he couldn’t take. My dad was like take my mums money, squandered them on the other woman and still come to trash her.

Ladies, please be wise! Imagine he saying she should change the documents to his name ONLY. Thief. Ole. Be a man, go build a house, bring them all in there. Let her rent her house for investment purposes. The true test of your love for her is to do this and prove to her, your kids and US that you truly love your FAMILY!

Don’t deceive this man to deceive the wife. God is watching you all!

Respect55:

Seems you hold the destiny of nairalanders in ur palm,lol.So who do I think is wrong here?
Take ur bitterness somewhere else abeg

You only receive what you give. Ain’t no one holding your destiny but you. If you support evil it will be your portion

BTW you Sound like a fvcking retarrd every time you call someone bitter because they don’t agree with you lopsided views of life.

[quote author=ExtraExtra post=69558270]Women are the backbone of the family, they make or mar the home, since they help bring life to the world suffice it to say they sum up what we call family, 99% of successful, longlasting home or family is the ability of the woman to hold the "forte".

My attention was drawn to this forum and this topic https://www.nairaland.com/4617351/husbands-pride-wants-ruin-home#69371294 and it is sad that most people drew conclusion on a one sided story though i wouldnt blame those involved....

My humble submission.

1) marriages pass thru phases and the phase you and your wife is determines the future of the marriage. Pls talk things out with ur wife.

2)probably you acted like most men does when it comes to marriage, which is ; "i can spend money more on my family than yours ". Am not disputing the fact that ur half went on ur dad 's medication but be honest if it were hers would you had allowed her to use her half for her parents medication. You probably would have told her to give some certain amt. And if this were the case , she must have queried herself on what the future holds and did what she did .

3)that she used her name dosent mean she stopped loving you but its for future security should incase what you did or said by asking her to leave ur house comes up.

4)oga , women are moved by what they hear and you stopped telling her how much you appreciate her effort ,started having harmless friends like you said . Some whom you sometimes compliment and of cos she felt threatened of her position and ur Love. So stop all you did or do which made her to question your integrity .

5) you sound like one who doesnt apologise when he is wrong but maybe buys gifts to makeup, and she wil forgive and you wil still do same thing again. Oga things like this can make even the softest, most forgiving woman to harbour resentments ,and the day she will explode, you will marvel at the depth of bitterness from her mouth and i guess this is why you where shocked she insulted you and family members together .
You really pushed her by telling her to leave the house and her full bitterness came up. Show ur wife love and make her fill important again.

6)finally quarel brings out the worst in ppl ,so you showed her what she feared most by telling her to leave ur house and belives putting ur family ,s need most is the reason she did what she did. Pks you guys should make up, dont allow urself think you cant beg her .if this marriage is important to you then put pride aside , call your wife and thrash things out . Let her unburden her years accumulated resentment out and make her know that there is no other her if you claim you dont have another .

Ogwula mu na onu.

Processor01:
1. Your wife brought the business idea - check
2. You both executed the business - check
3. You split the money equally - error
4. Unfortunately, your dad was ill and you used your own portion - check
5. You used the remaining portion to build a house for your parents - check
6. Your wife decided to use hers to build a house for the family - check
7. You supported the project and even contributed the little portion that was left of your money - check
8. Your wife puts the property in her name alone - error
9. You both get into an argument or as you said, she was verbally abusive on a particular day - error
10. Rather than pick your keys and step out or go cool off, you ask her to "get out of your house" - error
11. In her anger, she let's you know it's in her name - error
12. You get upset and move out of the house, abandoning her and your kids - error
13. To ease the tension, she offers to correct her error by putting both your names but you insist it must be your name alone - error
14. You initiate a transfer at your office to another state, without any second thoughts for your kids, at least - error
15. You are willing to let this relationship burn if she doesn't bow down and worship you - error


Oga, YOU ARE A WICKED MAN!!!


You start your write up with that nonsense to put the burden of keeping the marriage on the woman.
No Sir! You are the man, the head and the captain of that ship! If it goes down because of what you have presented here, then it is because of your pride and lack of wisdom.

You are the wisest man on this thread!

Be blessed my dear and may all the right pieces fall in the right places for you! Such depth is not common!!!

9gerian:
Social media validation and inconsiderate pursuit of wealth / materialism.

The bane of this generation!!!

A well bonded family is just as much wealth / resource as a house. And you can have both- with some application of wisdom!!!

TooNoisy:
I can see the devil is at work again

The devil is always trying to break a happy home... or was your home ever happy?

I guess all of these happened to expose your wife; I am shocked to hear that your wife did not tell you that your name was never on the house. That is treacherous. Now you should thank God for exposing the type of person you married.... and may be exposing the type of person you are as well. Joke or no joke, you should not have said she should leave your house.

Okay so let's discuss the way forward. First of all, forget about divorce - the children suffer most from a divorce and you shouldn't let your innocent children pay for your stupidity and that if your wife.

You need to call your wife and explain to her. In my view there are three options:

1. She sells the house and you both can jointly buy a house to be owned by both of you. That way, no one can send the other out.
2. You get another place and she moves in with you while she continues to rent out her own house. It is her house.
3. You move back to the house with a view to building your own house quickly. You allocate the family expenses in such a way that you are able to save quickly to build your house.

Please do not relocate to another state; it makes no sense and you are only punishing your children for their mother's sin.

What is now missing in your marriage is trust... you both will not trust each other for a long time, but time heals all wounds. You both will heal.. give it time but please don't punish your children.

If u actually read what he wrote, u would have seen that ur option 2 was his stand.

Most people talking about divorce above didn't read or couldn't comprehend what he wrote.

He said he wasn't thinking of divorce.

NoToPile:

Gbam, you have said it all.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

With what he said, do u think he would stay in that house, if he knew she built it? He has walked away, even dashed her, his portion of d building! What else do u haterz want!


Just that, he's spoiling for a fight, over d kids n d way he writes, he's gonna get those kids!

Women and secrets! I was told how a man and his family lived in a flat, unknowing to the man, his wife owned the place. He usually paid the rent through a lawyer and the "landlord" was said to be abroad. His wife (who built the place secretly few years into the marriage) convinced him to pay for the place.
When the bubble burst, the centre couldn't hold anymore.



To the story, I read "heseesall's" post but I refused to comment because I know that there are two sides of a story. My inputs are:

1: The foundation of the relationship "get K-leg". The lady being rich makes the man relax on his responsibility etc.

2. If I am the man, I won't stay in that house. I will go and rent another house, move my family and the woman can rent out the one in her name.
Even if she got it before marriage, I wont live there. Yes, men have ego and don't bruise it for any reason.

3. Oga, marriage is a partnership but you run yours like a business. So, you shared your spoils and you use yours to care for your parents (which is not bad but a HUSBAND AND WIFE SHOULD LEAVE THEIR PARENTS AND CLEAVE TO EACH OTHER), without keeping some for the future. I am a first child too so I also understanding you. Get it, always strive to provide for your family, even if your wife is richer.

4. Your wife may not be cheating but the worst position you can get a woman's venom is if she is richer than you and you aren't making any contributions, however little. Women like a committed man.

5. The only reason you can divorce your wife is infidelity. Even at that, very few men still let go.

6. It is not even our place to judge both of you. Third parties are rarely invited in marriage (BTW I am married). Think your decisions through and BE A MAN and a LOVING HUSBAND!

it is the case of a good man,that is married to a delilah.but since no case of adultery has béen established against her,which i believe she is guilty of,keep your marriage for the sake of your kids.

Firstly,i don't think I can advice you enough but let me say my little

You guys have to read both write up well

He said he used his own part of the share to take care of his father's health which involves flying out of the country.. Which of course we all know will require a lot of money in this present day & time..(His wife didn't elaborate on this) Which portray a scenario in her write up that the husband only spent the money on his parent's out of freewill ..

Though I don't support outrightly changing the name to only the husband's name.. Cause once she does that, she is giving him 100% right to something he contributed less amount in actualizing..(Not with standing what I wrote in the first paragraph)

Again, the house can't not outrightly belong to the woman.. She only bought the land.. Both of them contributed the finances in building a structure(The woman wrote this in her post) Which means the man's sweat is also part of the whole house(that's where the anger came in).

You also knew the situation on ground that warranted your husband to use his own fund for something different to what you actually planned on doing.. You should have played your part & considered the happenings as at that particular time.. Buying the property only in your name will cause an uproar..

All in all.. Divorce is never an option if you guys truly loves yourselves like you claim.. Think about your children future. Do you as a woman want another woman treating your children's unjustly? And you as man knowing fully well if you marry another woman.. She can never treat your children the way their mother will treat them take it?

Iron things out & return to being the happy family you were once living..

CC : ExtraExtra
HEseesall

spongeisback:
It's only a wicked person that would support him. The wife even tried to cover him up and he came to disgrace himself. How can you send your wife packing because of an argument

calm down,

He is wrong to tell his wife to leave his house even if he owns d house, just because of a quarrel.

His wife is not a good person too for not using Mr/ Mrs. She has ulterior motive n dat could be d reason she was bold enough to disrespect him.

If d man owned d house, the world will take to be dat it belongs to both of them. My brother owns a lot of lands n houses all in d name Mr/mrs. Mind you d wife is a housewife.

The problem with most "opinionated" women is dat they are very stingy with anything dat belongs to them but they feel they are entitled to whatever belongs to d husband.

Where I blame d man is the fact day he tried or dared to send her out whether jokingly or not.
Another area I blame him is that he refused to allow her make amends by using Mr/mrs even when she agreed to.

JoannaSedley:
Stop projecting your failed relationship to me please. I am not the one creating thread all over town cos of my "fiancé". Whining every chance I got of my fiance being too opinionated and expressive. .
An already failed marriage is what you are trying to salvage?. He he he. The man left his family and you are pointing your shrivelled guitar fingers on the woman. Be factual. The marriage was doomed the moment the husband told the wife to get out of his "house" and got the shocker of his life.

The marriage was alive without his name on the documents. Chai.

Platony:
One thing i cn sincerely argue wit my knowledge is majority of d commenters here sayin he wouldn't av told her to move out of d house "ARE NOT MARRIED".

.... If u're married n av bn in marriage,...u'll knw such statements holds no water becos it is once in a while said wen ders heated arguments. . Yet, dey stil grow stronger in love.

Wat i see here in der issue is "PRIDE" being incharge bt believe me u, dey'll reconcile & reunite.

By d tym dem stay 2 months without each other, der brain go reset to factory settings. Especially as children don involve.

Dem die there!!

Culled frm an experienced married man o.

ME

14yrs no be beans!!

@bolded really!!!

It's like 'Get out of my house' is a common phrase among nairaland married men the way I keep reading 'he didn't mean it' he didn't mean it' and it's so annoying.

That statement is wrong simple

Which kind of joke is that.

sisisioge:


Your story corroborated hers sir! You guys are on exactly the same page! Summary, you wanted her to change the name on a property you just confirmed that she owns the lion share of to your name alone! Awwww...you are so smart!

Anyways, my understanding of the story as pulled from your story and hers says you were practically trying to defraud her!

1. She got the property (landed)
2. She did the paper works
3. She started building
4. You spent your own money on your parents's house
5. The remaining money, which you admitted isn't much was used to finish the house.

God is still in heaven, be fair in your dealings oga sir! Whew!

Naaaa, how can you even think like this. He wanted to defraud her? How? Are they not supposed to be couples?

I'm not saying he did wrong by asking her to leave the house which is the typical African mentality Man would do, but to say he wanted to defraud her is far fetched please. Also note that the Man is from a less richer home & also the First born, the responsibilities are a lot. Both made a lot mistakes, Instead of you to focus on that, you mainly focused on the Man defrauding her.

This is beginning to sound like an Acrimony kinda argument where Ladies just support blindly without reasoning.