[center]THE IMMACULATES[/center]
A Play











[center]OLADOYIN MICHEAL
a.k.a Prof. Mike Breeze[/center]


C Micheal Oladoyin 2018
E-mail: michealhope330@gmail.com
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the writer.









Characters
Mary ND1 polytechnic student
Elijah 300 level student
Peller 400 level student
Mustapha Peller’s neighbour
Ibukun Mustapha’s neighbour
First guy fellowship member
Second guy
Deborah
Mama Alakara Beans cake seller
Aishat Mustapha’s girlfriend
Chinenye
Peller’s mother
Scorpion
Clement Chinenye brothers
Mary’s mother

DEDICATION
This play is dedicated to my Parents, Mr. and Mrs. Oladoyin who with their heartbeat guide me to the right path of life.














(Act I Scene 1)
(In a 6ft by 7ft room, there are two half inch mattresses placed on the side facing the door; at the exterior of the right side is a table with books and a chair well arranged close to the wall socket. At the left side of the room is a shoe rack and wall hanger hung at the very side of the double-face window. The red rug on the floor complements the cream painted wall. The spotlights comes on to show two cousins discussing)
Mary: (faces him) News writing class was interesting but that Lib 111! (Sighs deeply)
Elijah: wait a minute! It’s that not the course Peller said carries zero unit?
Mary: exactly! Could you believe the woman read out notes for a whole two hours without even explaining just a sentence of the epistle? In fact after the class, I had to rest at Ascom garden before coming home. What about you, how was the class?
Elijah: (putting off his socks) class? It is not really a class, it’s an orchestra session. It was wonderful, just that the series of rehearsals we had were irksome.
Mary: awwn! No wonder you forgot to remove your saxophone strap from your neck (laughs)
Elijah: (touches his neck to confirm) naughty you! At least my school is better than yours.
Mary: there we go again! “The first and the best” tag line
Elijah: That’s because it is! Unlike your school ‘The Polystressnic Ijogbon’ (all laughs)
Mary: (feigns anger) hello! The name of my institution is ‘The Polytechnic Ibadan’ and for your information, our motto is ‘Ise loogun Ise’
(Elijah’s phone rings and put their conversation to and end)
Elijah: (receives call) hello…yeah! na Elijah be this, ehn?..(Gasps) Una say wetin? Today?... na group assignment na..(Exclaims) what! If we no submit ‘am today e no go collect ‘am again… I dey come now now, thanks bro (ends call and soliloquizes) music department, here we dine and die! I’ll be right back pal.
(He rushes out wearing his leather sandal. Peller, a UI Communication and Language Arts student who live in the next street to the neighbourhood at this same time decides to visit Elijah in his room.)
Peller: (knocks) shalom Aleichem! Is Elijah around?
Mary: Come in, the door is not locked (as Peller enters) so you are the one spraying Hebrew bullets here. Well, Elijah is not around.
Peller: (gives his Mr. Cool smile that shows his set of white teeth) that’s far too less a greeting for this paragon of beauty I am lucky to behold. When he comes back, tell him I asked after him.
(As he turns to leave, the spotlights gradually fade out)
[center] (Light fades)
[/center]

(Act I Scene 2)
(The backyard of Kilanko Villa which is about 9 ft in width and 6 ft in length has four water taps at the right side and three beside the exit at the right side; it is a common practice of the tenants to make laundries on Saturdays and Sundays taking spots in groups as it is in Barika street 1 houses. On a Saturday morning, when the tenants as of their habit are laundering at their respective spots, Mustapha is seen discussing with Mary)
Mustapha: Maryaline the great! How’s poly life?
Mary: (laughs) Maryaline ko Baryaline ni! Do I resemble Flash? Poly life indeed! Or poly struggle? Are we to talk about the bureaucratic system or the seeming unending paper work? We would have to form a queue for any registration and one has to carry bike to make up fast to the lecture room. In short, Polytechnic life is stressful.
Mustapha: that’s how Poly is my sister; it is full of enjoyment mixed with a pinch of pain.
Mary: ugh? Like you’ve been there before!
Mustapha: (smiles) I graduated from The Polytechnic of Ibadan before applying as a DE student to the University of Ibadan.
Mary: (surprised, she puts down the gown she’s rinsing and looks at him with interest) are you for real? Which year did you graduate?
Mustapha: (starts rinsing his clothes) I graduated in 2014.
Mary: wonderful! So you and bro Peller graduated same year
Mustapha: of course! (He sighs) so what’s your discipline?
Mary: (confused) discipline as in what?
Mustapha: I mean what is your course of study?
Mary: oh! It is Mass communication.
Mustapha: (smiles and hails her) No wonder you’re beautiful, Greatest Ascomite!
(Both of them shout great!!! And the other tenants stared at them as they laugh heartily after the Jericho shout of praise. After rinsing all her clothes, Mary goes out of the building through the right side of the building to spread her clothes on the available line. Immediately she’s out, another tenant, Ibukun whose spot is next to Mustapha start a conversation with Mustapha.)
Ibukun: Tiger! You guys are perfect you know (she winks)
Mustapha: (faces her with a scornful look) Ibukun! I’m engaged and I’m contented with what I have.
Ibukun: (smirks) ni kini! Una dey tell me say na dat orobo una go marry, ugh? You no see as Mary slender so? She’s a perfect match for…
Mustapha: (cuts in) for your brother you are about to say? (Spits) you better mind your own business and stick to one man yourself.
Ibukun: (sadly) that’s a horrible thing you had said to me.
(Hearing this, Mustapha and Bolatito, Ibukun’s roommate burst into laughter. Mustapha picks up his bucket of rinsed clothes and moves out to the backyard to spread them in the sun.)

(Lights fade)

(Act I Scene 3)
(Shake the Devil Fellowship (SDF) is a campus-based fellowship known for running any of her service for three hours; the Sunday service holds 8:00am-11:00am, Bible study on Monday holds by 5:00pm-8:00pm and the same goes for prayer session on Thursday. On Sunday July 1, 2018, the general secretary is sick and the assistant general secretary, Bro Peller was called upon to make the announcement after the sermon.)
Bro Peller: (smiling) if you’ve been really blessed today shout halleluiah!
The congregation: (few people responded) halleluiah!!!
Bro Peller: Praise the Lord church!
The congregation: (some other few members join) halleluiah!!!
Bro Peller: that’s not for my God. The king of kings, the Elshadai, Jehovah Elohim, Jehovah Tsedeenu…
(As he starts to call God different names, claps and shouts fill the whole auditorium. Two people out of the congregation who didn’t respond to his first call starts to grumble and a conversation ensues)
1st Guy: (soliloquizes loudly) nawa for dis guy o, ‘im never know say person dey hungry?
2nd Guy: (smiles on hearing the first guy) my brother so hunger dey pepper una too? Person go still trek go Agbowo now, d guy na killer I swear!
1st Guy: ‘an if pesin comot now, dem go dey yarn say pesin na unbeliever, make e do quick make pesin go chop concoction…(the silence after the halleluiah chorus makes him to stop talking and face the pulpit)
Bro Peller: (smiles and clears his throat) Finalists in the house shout halleluiah!
Finalists: (joyfully) Halleluiah!!!
Bro Peller: I can’t wait to become a graduate! If you know you know. This is to notify all finalists in the house that their Dinner would be coming up on October 7, 2018; all finalists should endeavour to pay up the agreed fee of #700 as and when due.
2. All bible study members should wait for a brief meeting after the service,
3. All drama group members should also wait to see the Drama coordinator after the service. 4. From the prayer coordinator, all prayer warriors should…
2nd guy: (exasperatedly shouts) all workers should wait after service abeg!
A Bello hall resident: (laughs) noble weedite!!!-drug addict!
Bro Peller: (with a pacifying voice) don’t be in a hurry, we would soon leave for our respective homes. From the Editorial unit, to all our brethren celebrating their birthday this week we say happy birthday, you’ll live to fulfill your purpose on earth (Amen). From the President’s desk, happy Sunday to you all, this week shall be a week of new heights for us in Jesus name.
Congregation: Amen!
(Bro Peller leaves the stage and the President mounts the stage to say the closing prayer and benediction)
President: (holding the microphone) let’s pray! In Jesus name, our righteous father we thank you for what you’ve done for us, we thank you for how you’ve fellowshipped with us from the beginning of our service today, we return all glory back to you be thou exalted in Jesus name, the psalmist in Psalm 119 vs 34 says “Give me understanding, that I may keep thy law and observe it with my whole heart” we pray Lord that you grant us the grace we need to understand your word and walk in your path in the name of Jesus, as we journey through this…(As he continues with the prayer, spotlights fade)
(Lights fade)

(Act I Scene 4)
(It’s been a glorious service, the title of the sermon, ‘Holiness’ leaves an imprint on the entire congregation; the President is undoubtedly filled with the Holy Spirit. On their way home, Mary and Deborah discusses about the service)
Deborah: today’s sermon was touchy; I was moved to the extent that I feel tears forming in my eyes
Mary: wow! So you feel it too?
Deborah: of course, the President is really filled with the Holy Spirit.
Mary: Yes, that’s the automation when you maintain a good relationship with God and live a holy life. He even made mention of it in the sermon.
Deborah: (affirmatively) that’s true. Did you notice the assistant general secretary too?
Mary: Bro Peller, what about him?
Deborah: He is spirit-filled too and his english accent, oh my God

Mary: (not moved) that’s not a new thing, all the executives are spirit-filled. More so, he is a Communication and Language Arts (CLA) student and I think you being a UI student should know that.
Deborah: (shakes her head in disagreement) you don’t understand, as in he’s also cute. I long for his touch with those well-manicured fingers.
Mary: (looks at her disgustingly) what! Sis Debby and you said you were touched by today’s sermon! You better ask for forgiveness, because by having that thought, you’ve committed fornication.
Deborah: (feeling remorse) God forgive me! Thank you sis Mary, You’re such a darling.
Mary: you’re welcome my good friend.
Deborah: (teasingly) Holy Mary!
(They both laugh. While laughing, the transformer beside New Glory Baptist church at Agbowo starts to spark and they run separately towards their homes)

[center](Curtain falls)[/center]

(Acts II Scene 1)
(Elijah’s room, Mary is seen playing candy crush and after some minutes, Peller comes in)
Mary: (soliloquizing) I must complete this level 750 today. Imagine! I have been trying this level for almost three days and I couldn’t complete the requirements before the lapse of time…yes! I have the bomb to blast that stupid block... (Hears a knock at the door and pauses the game) who is it? (When the knock comes again and she does not get any response, she tip-toed to the basket full of plates and cutleries, picks up a knife and moves to the door in readiness to stab the anonymous she assumed to be a daunting daylight thief)
Peller: (opens the door and shouts) Boom!
Mary: (shocked, she drops the knife she’s holding) yeee!
Peller: (sees the knife and laughs) coward! So you want to stab me to death before?
Mary: (just recovering from the shock) Naughty brother! I almost fainted. (With serious look) Don’t tell me you’re here to scare Elijah like that.
Peller: (Sits on the chair) I’m bored and I feel I should come here to relax my nerves.
Mary: (smiles) then let’s help you out (Places Ludo game board in his front, and sits opposite him) let me teach you how this is done!
Peller: (teasingly) I don’t like thrashing pretty ladies much; I’ll just lash you thrice.
Mary: (Smirks) so Ibadan guy want to beat a Lagos girl, ugh? (Both of them laugh)
Peller: (throws the dice) first six six! (He throws it again and makes another double six) dis na just the beginning (he throws the dice once more and he makes a six and one) I told you I don’t like thrashing beautiful ladies.
Mary: (not accepting defeat throws the dice) this beautiful lady is not a neutral either.
Peller: (surprisingly) six five, not bad! You know…
(As he’s speaking, the central spotlight fades and the other lights follow suite)


(Lights fade)

(Acts II Scene 1)
(Elijah’s room, Mary is seen playing candy crush and after some minutes, Peller comes in)
Mary: (soliloquizing) I must complete this level 750 today. Imagine! I have been trying this level for almost three days and I couldn’t complete the requirements before the lapse of time…yes! I have the bomb to blast that stupid block... (Hears a knock at the door and pauses the game) who is it? (When the knock comes again and she does not get any response, she tip-toed to the basket full of plates and cutleries, picks up a knife and moves to the door in readiness to stab the anonymous she assumed to be a daunting daylight thief)
Peller: (opens the door and shouts) Boom!
Mary: (shocked, she drops the knife she’s holding) yeee!
Peller: (sees the knife and laughs) coward! So you want to stab me to death before?
Mary: (just recovering from the shock) Naughty brother! I almost fainted. (With serious look) Don’t tell me you’re here to scare Elijah like that.
Peller: (Sits on the chair) I’m bored and I feel I should come here to relax my nerves.
Mary: (smiles) then let’s help you out (Places Ludo game board in his front, and sits opposite him) let me teach you how this is done!
Peller: (teasingly) I don’t like thrashing pretty ladies much; I’ll just lash you thrice.
Mary: (Smirks) so Ibadan guy want to beat a Lagos girl, ugh? (Both of them laugh)
Peller: (throws the dice) first six six! (He throws it again and makes another double six) dis na just the beginning (he throws the dice once more and he makes a six and one) I told you I don’t like thrashing beautiful ladies.
Mary: (not accepting defeat throws the dice) this beautiful lady is not a neutral either.
Peller: (surprisingly) six five, not bad! You know…
(As he’s speaking, the central spotlight fades and the other lights follow suite)


(Lights fade)

(Act II Scene 2)
(In a small room beautifully designed with wallpapers, a standing fan dances joyfully as the power supply beats the rhythm, beside the fan is a small shelf full of books and compact disks. A spotlight comes on to reveal Mustapha and Mary watching an Indian movie titled ‘Anjaan’ on Mustapha’s Laptop)
Mustapha: These Indian actors are something else; I mean how can you get shot twice in the chest without dying?
Mary: who knows, the chest must have been made of Iron. (Shouts) oh! Raju Bhai has been shot.
Mustapha: (smiling) don’t panic baby girl, his death would only lead to an Intermission, I know bhollyhood movies for that.
Mary: (pauses the movie) how come you love Indian and Korean movies like this?
Mustapha: it’s because they show real action when it comes to their action movies and the sense of romanticism in their romance movies also calls for attention.
Mary: hmmm, I also love romantic movies but only if it is Nollywood and Hollywood.
Mustapha: wonderful! But you need to see Boys Before Flower (BBF), My Eternal and…
Mary: (Cuts in) those are Korean movies, aren’t they? (Shakes her head) a guy for that matter! Why do you love movies in the first instance? You’re ridiculous!
Mustapha: (in defense) why won’t I like love movies, it’s not as if I won’t marry anyway. In fact, I don’t just know the reason behind your hatred for Korean movies, a pretty girl like you?
Mary: One man’s meat is another man’s poison you know.
Mustapha: (nods his head) play the movie, let us keep watching.
(Elijah coming from a programme decides to use the toilet and he hears the voice of Mary in Mustapha’s room. He knocks)
Elijah: (knocks and enter) hello!
Mustapha and Mary: Sax lord you’re back!
Elijah: (ironically) No, I just come to say hi before going back on stage. Naughty guys! (They all laugh)
(Lights fade)

(Act II Scene 3)
(At Mama Alakara’s shop at barika, Mama Alakara is seen discussing with Elijah)
Mama Alakara: (Cuts in) you see that’s the reason I can see beyond my position. Wo mi, ti oju ba ni suuru a ri’mu (You see, if your eyes can be patient, they would be able to see the very tip of your nose)
Elijah: (confused) E ba mi break e down maami (break it down for me ma)
Mama Alakara: what I mean is you’ve not been patient enough in observing things going on around you. I’m suspecting Peller is making advances towards Mary and whatever it is; I know it’s not with a good intention. You have to caution your cousin, I’ve heard a lot about his atrocities from his former landlady at Agbowo area.
Elijah: (smiles) mama! They attend the same fellowship on campus, which must be the basis of their closeness.
Mama Alakara: Elijah! Elijah!! Elijah!!! How many times have I called you?
Elijah: thrice ma.
Mama Alakara: this world is not dirt-free as we assume it, people are not what they seem to be; people you see around are but illusions, they’re immaculate in appearance and inhabit all kinds of filthy dirt within.
Elijah: (Convinced) I will be observant from now on.
Mama Alakara: Trust no one but you, shining bright is a deceit like the golden truth.
Elijah: (fuming with anger) if it happens to be true, I’ll strangle Peller to death.
Mama Alakara: (laughs) if you allow your anger to consume you, then you’re not a man. In the shield of patience, justice justifies the just.
Elijah: (nods affirmatively) thank you ma, you’ll live to your full age. You’ll eat the fruit of your labour.
Mama Alakara: Amen. Before I eat that, my son should enjoy my labour (put some bean cakes inside a black nylon) have this.
Elijah: (smiles) thank you mama, I can’t wait to devour this (salivates)
Mama: (laughs) wobia! (Glutton!)

(Lights fade)

(Act II Scene 4)
(Barika area, street 2, Mary on her way to buy fresh tomato and pepper meets sees Peller in front of his residence and they start discussion)
Mary: (singing ‘Excess love’ by Mercy Chinwo)
Your love is kind,
Your love is patient;
You fill my heart,
With so much peace and joy,
You’re amazing,
You make my life feel brand new 2ce
Call: Jesus you love me too much oo
All: Too much o, too much o, excess love o.
(She sings the song unconsciously till she hears a voice join her in singing; she looks up and sees Peller applying polish on his shoes in front of his residence)
Peller: (mimicking Mary’s voice) Jesus you love me too much oo, too much o, too much o, excess love o.
Mary: Oh God of mercy! Is my voice that bad? (They both laugh)
Peller: You need to see how angels will dance if this sonorous voice could join the other choristers in praising God.
Mary: with this bad voice? C’mon stop flattering me.
Peller: which bad voice? You sound like Mercy Chinwo herself. By the way, where are you hopping to?
Mary: I’m going to the other street to get some fresh tomatoes.
Peller: all right, you have to go fast then, this scorching sun is not good for your type of skin.
Mary: ugh? When did you become a medicine student? (They both laugh)

(Lights fade and Curtain falls)

(Act III Scene 1)
(Along UI main gate at 5:30pm on Friday, Peller meets Elijah on his way home from school and they start discussing)
Peller: (taps him from behind) Elijah the fire wheeler!
Elijah: (looks back) oh! It’s you. Peller the orator!
Peller: how has been your day bro?
Elijah: it’s been great, yours? Don’t tell me it is awesome with this mark of distress on your face
Peller: you’re right my brother, Linguistics lecturers are set to sniff life out of us. I’m fed up!
Elijah: (smiles) it runs in the blood of the lecturers here in University of Ibadan. But if a final year students are fed up, what of us penultimate students?
Peller: (smiles) it’ll soon end. How is Mary?
Elijah: she’s fine.
Peller: (sighs) you see tell her she has to be very careful in her dealings with Mustapha.
Elijah: (surprised) how? What do you mean by that?
Peller: I am suspecting Mustapha is set to woo Mary. I notice the way he flirts with her on the pretense of playing.
Elijah: (not convinced) every guy does that to ladies, don’t you do that to her too?
Peller: (sharply) why would I do that? If I want her, I’d speak to her and ask for permission from you. Doing that kind of thing is wrong and unchaste!
Elijah: (hails him) Prophet Elijah! You know at times I used to… (They hear a sound of gunshot from Agbowo market area, and they pick race at once. The shout ‘the Hausa and the Yoruba butchers have started again ooo’ fill the air)

(Lights fade)

(Act III Scene 2)
(In Elijah’s room. while Mary is preparing to visit Sis Deborah, Elijah rushes in panting)
Elijah: (Rushes in panting) that was so close!
Mary: (looks at him quizzically) what was so close? Why are you panting like a hunter dog?
Elijah: (still panting) while…while coming from school.. with Peller (coughs) those butchers at Agbowo started their fight again and..and we heard a gunshot…
Mary: (cuts in) awwn! And that made you to pick race like a wounded lion. You guys are not man enough. Just freshen up and help yourself with the fried rice inside the pot.
Elijah: witch! How did you know..what...what I have in mind to eat this evening? Have you eaten?
Mary: yes, I was about going to Deborah before you rushed in for help, I’ll be right back.
(She leaves and Elijah begin to soliloquize as he’s putting off his shoe and socks)
Elijah: (soliloquizes) Mustapha is set to woo Mary? I know Mary goes to his room to watch movies but wait… He flirts with her? (Looking confused) And mama said Peller is making advances towards Mary? Can Peller do that? (He pushes the pair shoe aside) He’s an executive in his fellowship, SDF for that matter! Mustapha is engaged already I know he is not a womanizer. What kind of dilemma is this? (Remembers something) mama said I should be patient. I can’t kill myself (he goes to where the pot is and opens it)


(Lights fade)

(Act III Scene 3)
(Coming from Ventura mall on a Saturday evening by 5:00, Elijah and Mary discusses about their experience)
Mary: I can’t believe you redeemed your vow to take me out today.
(Elijah pinches her; she cries and eyes him inquisitively)
Elijah: (defensively) you don’t have to get worked up, that’s just to tell you that you’re not dreaming.
Mary: (furiously) is that why you want to cut me out into pieces? Your girlfriend would have to endure so many things.
Elijah: (with a pacifying tone) sorry dear, the rare gem among the rarest diamond, I’ll play Timi Dakolo’s Iyawo mi for you.
Mary: (eyes him disgustingly) for your cousin? Well, I prefer Simi’s Joromi, so get prepared to play the sax cover for me!
Elijah: I can see the Solftonic Entertainment’s presentation has made some imprint on you.
Mary: of course, that live presentation was awesome; c’mon mehn! Those guys are very good.
Peller: (nods in affirmation) I’m a music person myself and to be candid those guys are experts; I heard they also play for wedding receptions.
(A motorcyclist speeds off beside them)
Mary: oh! That cyclist’s shirt resembles one of bro Peller’s shirts.
Peller: (suspiciously) when did you start monitoring his shirt, have you been visiting him in his room?
Mary: haba! He’s fond of wearing it now, why would I go to his house?
Peller: just be careful in your dealings with him. The bible says ‘let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall’ you see, I don’t want your destiny to be truncated.
Mary: (exasperated) and what does that suppose to mean? He is an executive in the fellowship and if you don’t trust him, don’t you trust me too? Or are you still holding my past against me? (She leaves him and takes Bodija route)
Peller: (softly to himself) what have I said wrong?

(Lights fade)


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(Act III Scene 4)
(At 8:30pm on Monday, August 27, Peller and Mary returns from Bible study and Peller being weak makes Mary to help him with his heavy school bag to his room)
Peller: (half staggering) have mercy Lord!
Mary: (looks up to him) you say what?
Peller: nothing, I was just… (He staggers again)
Mary: (with a worried face) just what? Why are you staggering like that? Have you been ill before?
Peller: it’s nothing, you don’t have to worry about me, just go home.
Mary: (collects his bag) If I leave you to go home yourself, you might slump on your way.
(They take a short route to Pellers residence and they enter his room)
Peller: just get me one coke from that small freezer.
(As Mary goes to the freezer, spotlights fade)

(Lights fade)

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