TOPIC: Practical Love In Marriage (Part 1)

MEMORY VERSE: “My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.” – 1 John 3:18

BIBLE PASSAGE: 1 Corinthians 7:2-5

2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

INTRODUCTION:
Love is a fundamental characteristic of who God is (1 John 4:7-8 ). Everything God does is prompted and influenced by His love. The Bible uses several different words for ‘’love’’ in the Hebrew and Greek, interchanging them depending on context. Some of these words mean ‘’affectionate love’’, others indicate ‘’friendship’’, and still others, ‘’erotic/sexual love’’ as well as ‘’sacrificial/charitable love’’.
In this study we shall examine each one as they apply to marriage.

LESSON OUTLINES

“Eros” Erotic/Sexual love
Phileo” Friendship love

“EROS” – EROTIC/SEXUAL LOVE
Erotic/Sexual love is derived from the Greek word ‘’Eros’’. It is the word often used to express sexual love or the feelings of arousal that are shared between people who are physically attracted to each other. It has its godly fulfilment in a legal marriage between a man and a woman (Matthew 19:5). The Bible admonishes married couples not to deny each other of erotic/sexual love (1 Corinthians 7:2-5). Sexual intimacy in marriage strengthens the bond of the relationship. pre-intimacy and varieties of approach should be employed by Christian couples (Songs 1:13,15-16; Proverbs 5:19-20; Ecclesiastes 4:11). Knowledge on how to properly explore this type of love should be sought by Christian couples through counselling and Christian literatures (Hosea 4:6). Erotic/sexual activity in marriage should not be viewed as sin. However, it becomes a sin when it is perverted or expressed outside marriage (Romans 1:24-28; 1 Corinthians 6:9; Revelations 21:8; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).

PHILEO”– FRIENDSHIP LOVE: Phileo/Philia refers to brotherly/friendship love and is most often exhibited in a close friendship (Proverbs 18:24). Best friends will display this generous love for each other as each seeks to make the other happy. The scriptural account of David and Jonathan is an excellent illustration of phileo (friendship) love (1 Samuel 18:1-3). Since phileo love involves feelings of warmth and affection toward another person, married couples should see each other as best of friends. This love cherishes the beloved but it expects a response (Romans 12:10). It is a love of relationship, comradeship, sharing, communication and friendship (Proverbs 17:17). Married couples should share in each other’s thoughts, feelings, attitudes, plans and dreams (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). They should also confide in each other the most intimate secrets, fears and needs that they would not share with a third-party (Proverbs 27:17). A marriage without phileo will be unsatisfactory no matter the passion in the bedroom. God’s desire for the husband and wife is that they tenderly love each other while they overlook each other’s faults and failures (1 Peter 4:8 ).

CONCLUSION:
The love that lasts longer than dinner and a movie must be made up of Eros (Physical attraction) and Phileo (Friendship). Do your best to be intimate with your partner in marriage.

QUESTIONS:

Briefly explain your understanding of erotic/sexual love.
What is the important of friendship love in marriage?