Between the lush green thick walled vegetation
And the tall pillars dotting round the forest
The murmuring movement of the protesting shrubs
Telegraphs the alarming practical steps of an elephant

His arrival threatened the peace of the forest
The wind froze and his breath seized the air
Jelly shaking leaves perceived the smell of danger
As they prostrated to lick the soil in grievance

No friendly stare in the boiling hostile condition
The uncertain prey feared to move a muscle
That fearless hunter- the pride of his town
Became the hunted as he feared for his hungry bones

In a twinkle, a tremor snaps the still roots
As the squirrel couple dart, forgetting their union
And to the hunter, home failed not to be cherished
As he caught the glimpse of his living ancestors

oboy chai see poem lol
please what are you waiting for?
Start publishing abeg
no waste this talent kwo!

^^^thanks actually, i am no interested in publishing my poems for the money, what gives me joy most is when someone reads my poem and either appreciate or criticise it constructively,

CHARMED NIGHT

The sun sets from superior summit
And night steadily stole in
Like the toughened criminals back to work
Into the boundaries of the busy city

We ended our toil and labour
Like the drawing of the curtain in a cinema
Then sat and watched,watched and saw
The glamorous day being taken over
By the dynamic supremacy of the charmed night

We had no choice and heard no voice
Challenging the gathering dusk swooping in
Like locusts in the eighth plague of Egypt
Than to retreat back to our domiciliary
And let the perilous night rule over us

THE BRIDE

Decades after,the suitors come to stay
Approaching with extremity and murderous love
With brim confidence to lure her away
Yet show little for the legitimates to approve

She's a homely bride where every suitors dwell
But no one can tell where the awesome beauty lies
Even as the dry season tends to be cruel
Making a famine where rich abundance lies

In true sense no one could see her wish
But can be wooed by the pleasures of hers
Blessed by nature which can't fast diminish
Like the countless value of the golden stars

A mirror can never reflect someone else's face
Other than the individual who has thrown a gaze
Like a cowry shell of now little worth
She's been ridiculed of her beauty and left to rot

Questions,

1. who are the suitors?
2. who is the bride?
3. who are the legitimates?
4. the DRY SEASON refers to what in the context?

@Ajibel: You are good.You should publish this and make money out of it.

hi ajibel. your poem is quite fascinating though rigid with imagery. to my understanding this is my answer. though i may be wrong.
a: suitors: politician.
b: bride: nigeria.
c: legitimates: masses.
d: dry season: economy.

ElmA, :

@Ajibel: You are good.You should publish this and make money out of it.

Making money isnt my pleasure. I derive pleasure more at posting my poems in sites for people to rate, commend and criticize and then offer suggestions. Thanks anyway

haruna1970:

hi ajibel. your poem is quite fascinating though rigid with imagery. to my understanding this is my answer. though i may be wrong.
a: suitors: politician.
b: bride: nigeria.
c: legitimates: masses.
d: dry season: economy.

yo so right, wish i can give you sth for it cuz u are the first and only to answer all correctly

.

OP you've got talent.
Hope they are original though.

daprofo: LITERARY APPRAISAL OF "The Bride".

It would be quite excitin analysin and doing a constructive critique of this elevated piece of poetry, captivating sound and figurative devices well horned and crafted by an aspiring literary maven, Ajibel.Well, I know nothing of the poet so I will not be able to present poets Background Informatn.Well, let's get to the analysis.

SUBJECT MATTER:
THE BRIDE is a poem about a woman, d bride who is being courted and wooed by suitors who seem serious and ready for marriage but seem to be rejected by the woman for reasons of not measuring up to her wish, her standard. See line 4, " . . Legitimates as approve " and line 9 ". . Wish".

THEME:
1.)There is the theme of UNCERTAINTY.It pervades the gamut of this piece.The suitors are uncertain of the brides wish.The bride was uncertain of her eventual state of unworthiness of facial appearance.The poet with an omniscient eye of narration informs of the golden stars , thereby foreshadowing the natural turn of events that ends up taking over her beauty at the end of the poem.
2.) There is the motif of rejection. For instance , the woman rejects her suitors. The mirror, on the otherhand doesnot reject the face of the viewer but throws, reflects or casts his gaze.
There are other themes & motifs for readers to identify.

STYLE:
The style is elevated. Below are other analytical elucidations on the style of "THE BRIDE":

STRUCTURE:
The stanza and lineation are not clear and lucid to me may be because i'm using a mobile device herein to readup the poem.Nonetheless, there are ample prepositions and connecting verbs at end or beginning of some lines in the poem thereby interlinking the narrative medium of the poem.Thus, see "approaching" in line 2; "with" in line 3, "yet" in line 4 and so on.The poem excels in its language connectors in sentence form and yet still retains its elevated poetic structure. The syntax is free.

TONE & MOOD:
The poets tone is that of detachment and less concern.He lets the narrative give the reader an insight of his treatment of the theme.The Mood of the poem is one that is sombre and reflective, and even mockingly informing.

DICTION & IMAGERY
The diction is elevated in terms of the metaphorical placement of words. Some of the words may seem difficult to the average reader. Thus, "brim" in line 3 means overflowing, superfluous, full, excess.It evokes the image of a cup filled with water to its top.
"ridiculed" in line 17 means exposing a thing to laughter, derision or mockery. The other dictions are quite simple.No difficult words.
There are imageries of "golden stars" , "mirrors" , "cowrie shell" and that of "suitors" wooing the lady.The imageries are simple, however each is symbolic in Ajibel's usage. "golden stars" are symbolic of the bride's beauty; "mirror" is symbolic of the bride's mind, wish and personality and that each individual is responsible for their actions & its attendant consequences, outcome or even aftermath as we see it undertoned in " THE BRIDE". . "cowry shell" which is an outdated and old means of exchange in trade in parts of West Africa, particularly amongst the Yoruba's and few parts of the world, goes to explain the outmoded phase of the brides beauty, ". . . ridiculed of her beauty and left to rot."

MUSICAL/SOUND DEVICES:
End-rhymes: The first four lines rhyme interchangeably in this order:
"stay" of line 1 rhymes with "away" of line 3.
"love" of line 2 rhymes with "approve" of line 4, The rhyme scheme there is ABAB.
A quite similar and close pattern runs through the poem's other lines.
ALLITERATION:
" suitors" alliterates with "stay" in line 1.
"little" alliterates with "legitimate" in line 4.
Look out for any.Can you find?

Well, there are other literary devices like metaphor, climax, simile, etc.
METAPHOR: "THE BRIDE" is laden with several metaphors.The approaching of the suitors, for instance, is compared to murderous love( line 2).
SIMILE:
See lines 13 and 16 for instance having "like" used to do a comparision.Can you find others? Check them out, ok(?). That's alright.
CLIMAX:
The first four lines of the poem is a climax.The message being conveyed progresses line by line.Now I think I'd have to stop at this point.Subsequently I will do the critique of this poem; and will do the analysis & critique of "CHARMED NIGHT" and "THE ELEPHANT".

A strong point in Ajibel's work is his balanced and interconnected ability at lyricism.He has good sense of the romantic ideal, picturing a mental scene and giving it poetic colouring.

Ajibel measures up in time to some of the feats of distinguished international award-winning Nigerian poet, Tanure Ojaide.I believe you're going places, Ajibel.Your poems are amongst the best I have reviewed on Nairaland.I look forward to further literary correspondence with you.You can see my other reviews on this site.

ONIS SAMPSON
(Young poet, literary scholar and writer in his early twenties lives in Port Harcourt)
prof_brimaniee@yahoo.com

Am so happy for ur views, I'd mail u though I may hav prefferd u giv me ur fb name or twitter handle..anyway I'd post more

BlueDiva: OP you've got talent.
Hope they are original though.

Lol, thanks they are but if u know me, its hard to believe I composed such at the age of 15+ but anyway I've lost my poetry talent cuz I had no support from family who wanted me to become a doctor!!! against my wish of studying poetry or computer science

TRIBUTE
DAGRIN a leader in entertainment gone so soon
From mother earth to the dark grave room
Emotions were betrayed we never thought you'll depart
But we've concluded to admit you've played your part

In his living days, he was appraised and still then
After his death receives rousing accolades from his men
Amongst the dead, his soul shalln't be lost
For in his time he had all by him to trust

DAGRIN you've toiled hard and so deservedly won the race
Keeping your legacy aback for others to trace
The honour is for you and to you remains the honour
The circumstance of your death still remains a horror...

........Hated this poem few months after I wrote it after DAGRIN's death

Bump lol

I have like 30 more. I'd create a new thread to post em once I got time