I have a confession, please don't judge me oooo.

*A funny moment of shudder*

Something happened to me couple of days ago. Something I almost considered would cost a life due to the pants stealing ish ravaging the internet recently, unknown to me it was the usual sadomasochism of my friends. I need to tell you that I just recovered from the trauma when I typed this.

That very fateful evening when I arrived from school, I decided to pack my dirty wears I had been pilling up for a week outside for laundry. It didn't take me up to an hour to finish laundering. At this time, it was getting dark already. So I opted for a line in the compound to hang those wears.

Going to school the following morning and I couldn't find my clothes outside. While searching every corner of the house, I found them in a bucket which clearly explained someone had helped me pack it for security reason. While spreading the clothes on the lines again, I noticed I couldn't find my three boxers there. As in three. Not one ooo.

I informed my landlady about it and she asked me not to fret, that I would find it when I come back from school. She asked me to be praying about it which at the time, I was too liberal to understand what she meant. Typical Nigeria-Yoruba women, they love to subscribe to fetishism in contradistinction to proactivenss.

Later in the evening, I came back from school only to see nothing had changed yet about my missing boxers. Landlady said she had ransacked every nook and cranny of the house, but it all went futile. It was at this time she asked me to call my parents so they could know which step was to be taken. I was like "So Dad would come all the way from Oyo state down to Kwara here to search for my stolen boxers?". Of course I didn't tell her this, but it was ringing in my head and the expression on my face said alot about it. I chuckled, bided her an uninspiring "thank you" and path my way to my room to have a heaven of nap to myself.

While lying in bed, I felt an enigmatic impulse compelling my scrotum. Like a spirit was savagely draining off my semen. At this time I startled, with my heart trying to ascend down my throat. My cheeks and the whole face were feeling the heat. Could it be possible I had been used to buy Benz? How come have they veered into stealing boxers? I thought they only needed female pants for these voodoo things? I asked myself all these.

I was wandering my gaze aimlessly at the wall, drowned in the sea full of paranoia. My eyes were bulging out of their sockets. My colour turned ghostly white. I fleeted into a vicious cycle of dizziness and consciousness, coming in turn, each a few microseconds apart. Feeling such dizzy I possibly could have passed away, but miracle sustained me I suppose.

Then I remembered their main target is always on the most sensitive part of the male reproductive system-- the crotch. At the time, it was sleeping. Sleeping in a way that I had to rush download porns to swiftly agitate the nerves. I even almost called madam over to come spend the night with me; Baba wanted to thrust ��

It was not long that the landlady called me that my boxers were not stolen and that I was only being pranked by my friends. See such sadism! That was when I realize that "out of abundance of our thoughts, tales tend to become reality".

We can all form keypad warrior here by feigning atheism, and liberalism of some sorts. Oga, na lie. Trust me, Iro ni gbogbo e. For some reason, I always remember to panic after the shudder has passed.

Laysmt001