Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

If the child will be mine I'm in check my signature and call

Is it a job opportunity, how much will u pay monthly

Or why should I help raise a kid that won't be mine?

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

Biko, some things work in developed countries where there are checks and balances.

You cant be acting British in Mushin.

40 years old (or almost) , with a child is already midnight newspaper according to Nld and a vast majority of today's youth. What You'd get here is boy toys who will scratch your Vee for a fee.

The type of men you need are not on NLD.

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

Sorry, I might sound harsh but what you are looking for is not a 'responsible' man. If you you are alomost 40, then the man you are looking for will be around that age or maybe slightly older. Generally, no 'responsible' man in his fourties will want to just sit with you in a 'civil partnership' with the sole aim of helping you to raise your child. Most men in that age bracket are either raising their families or planning to raise one. Except the ones that just want an affair with you.

Personally, I think you are not going about it in a right way. You have concluded that you have not been fortunate with love (I guess after your marriage failed) and have decided to loose total hope in marriage. I am not saying you should just jump into marriage with the next person but u giving up all hope of finding another suitable person is unfair to yourself. If you have had a bad experience working in an office and you resigned I am sure you will not give up all hope of working altogether. You posted this in this dead of the night which shows that apart from raising your child you need companionship. A co-parent as you described it will not fill that in-depth longing of your soul.

You mentioned that you are fine with someone who will be with you without the pressure of marriage. What anyone who is reading will read is that 'you want someone who can walk in and walk out of your life'. So you already have a child you are raising out of wedlock (for want of better words) and your are looking forward to having another one in the same position. I don't know the details of your experience in your previous marriage but I am sure it was not a pleasant one hence your decision to quit. However, The truth is there is no pressure in marriage except the one brought to it by the participants. Marriage doesn't have to be full of strife and rancor. That is another discussion for another day.

My suggestion is as follows:

1) that you take time to heal from the hurt of your divorce. Can go for counselling or with older people around you who have possibly gone through it and have pulled through. I am a believer and I know there is no better counsel than that which the Holy Spirit and the word gives. It is available, free and without prejudice. This will take time but with consistence you will get to a place you will remember the whole event(s) without pain.

2) i don't know how old your child is, but in the meantime, let him/her get involved in right groups in the school or religious places so as to have access to good mentors that can fill that void in his/her life.

3) get close to your creator, He is the only one who can work it out for your good.

I wish you all the best.

ifyalways:

Biko, some things work in developed countries where there are checks and balances.

You cant be acting British in Mushin.

40 years old (or almost) , with a child is already midnight newspaper according to Nld and a vast majority of today's youth. What You'd get here is boy toys who will scratch your Vee for a fee.

The type of men you need are not on NLD.

Nairaland is a huge place.there are all sorts of people here so i would chose my words carefully if i were you!
Cheers

nwanneni:
Nairaland is a huge place.there are all sorts of people here so i would chose my words carefully if i were you!
Cheers

Exactly! I just wonder how someone would think that every single male soul on Nairaland is a fvck boy or irresponsible. My former boss, one of the top echelons of NB whose age is above 60, is a Nairalander. Safe to say you are, what you think others are

I checked your profile and saw you are new on nairaland. An old member wouldnt have sorted for this kind of help on this page considering the fact that most people here are teenagers. They don't know how to respond/react to matters like this. But, pls don't be depressed with some people's response, you will get better responses though it might take time.
I wish you goodluck.

ifyalways:

Biko, some things work in developed countries where there are checks and balances.

You cant be acting British in Mushin.

40 years old (or almost) , with a child is already midnight newspaper according to Nld and a vast majority of today's youth. What You'd get here is boy toys who will scratch your Vee for a fee.

The type of men you need are not on NLD.

Ifyalways that midnight newspaper line, coming from you, is coldly insensitive and totally uncalled for.

NL is a platform with all manner of people, with different understanding, beliefs, values, idiosyncrasies and whims. Like all platforms, including meeting people in the real world, she may or may not get what she wants. The risk is always there. It behoves on her to discern and choose wisely.

@OP , I am hoping you've learnt the lessons and the wisdom life was trying to teach you in your failed marriage. If not you are bound to repeat it.

Secondly, make sure you've healed from the pains of that marriage before you jump into any relationship. Be whole. Be ready.

What you wrote up there is your cv. I believe you can sell yourself and what you want better. That way you increase the probability of the right person coming for you.

Lastly, it may sound clichéd but get closer to God. The spiritual side helps when life has dealt us some cards. Best wishes

.

DeeMain:


Ifyalways that midnight newspaper line, coming from you, is coldly insensitive and totally uncalled for.

NL is a platform with all manner of people, with different understanding, beliefs, values, idiosyncrasies and whims. Like all platforms, including meeting people in the real world, she may or may not get what she wants. The risk is always there. It behoves on her to discern and choose wisely.

@OP , I am hoping you've learnt the lessons and the wisdom life was trying to teach you in your failed marriage. If not you are bound to repeat it.

Secondly, make sure you've healed from the pains of that marriage before you jump into any relationship. Be whole. Be ready.

What you wrote up there is your cv. I believe you can sell yourself and what you want better. That way you increase the probability of the right person coming for you.

Lastly, it may sound clichéd but get closer to God. The spiritual side helps when life has dealt us some cards. Best wishes

I had to re-read my post.

I didn't mean to.sound condescending or insult the OP though. My point was that the teenagers here will only call her that and have nothing to.offer her.

@OP, I'm sincerely sorry if my post offended you.

ifyalways:

I had to re-read my post.

I didn't mean to.sound condescending or insult the OP though. My point was that the teenagers here will only call her that and have nothing to.offer her.

@OP, I'm sincerely sorry if my post offended you.

Now, that's the spirit.

Dear OP. I can only imagine what you're going through emotionally.

To me it seems like you have given up hope on finding love for the sake of love. You just want someone who would give you one more child.

What you really don't need now is a man who will waltz in and out of your lives(you and your kid) as he likes. It is not healthy for your child irrespective of gender, neither is it healthy for you emotionally. You may be capable of taking care of two kids but what they don't need is a layabout who calls himself dad but hardly sleeps at home.

I dare say there might be sites online that is specifically for matured people looking to settle down.

Why don't you try that. Nairaland is a faceless forum and you don't want to waste your time soliciting for a responsible man here. They may be here and you may already have gotten offers but I'd be careful if I were you, for your sake and for that of your child.

All the best in your endeavours.

Abass07:
I checked your profile and saw you are new on nairaland. An old member wouldnt have sorted for this kind of help on this page considering the fact that most people here are teenagers. They don't know how to respond/react to matters like this. But, pls don't be depressed with some people's response, you will get better responses though it might take time.
I wish you goodluck.

She is not a newbie. She is an old member here but created a new moniker for this thread.

You want another child without a father? I understand your need to be a mother again but I'll advice you to take a poor relative child and train instead, that way you can be co parent with his actual ones. It's better than raising a child in such a complicated set up as you're suggesting, it might be cute now but becomes complicated over time

Advisers, at her age did she tell you she doesn't know all this. She has made a choice which she feels she can work with. Leave her alone jare.

ifyalways:

Biko, some things work in developed countries where there are checks and balances.

You cant be acting British in Mushin.

40 years old (or almost) , with a child is already midnight newspaper according to Nld and a vast majority of today's youth. What You'd get here is boy toys who will scratch your Vee for a fee.

The type of men you need are not on NLD.

Fallacy of hasty generalisation

Miarose:
Advisers, at her age did she tell you she doesn't know all this. She has made a choice which she feels she can work with. Leave her alone jare.

You will make heaven

Miarose:
Advisers, at her age did she tell you she doesn't know all this. She has made a choice which she feels she can work with. Leave her alone jare.

Bros. The matter just tire me.
Some people comments fit make you vomit.

Thank you everyone for your candied advise and all comments. I'll continue to read more comments. Some of them are very comforting. Thank you again.

@ifyalways your comment hurts but then i figured its the bitter truth. But one day soon in the near future when you're around my age, make sure you have it all stable so you don't have to chew your words. Remember nobody wishes misfortune upon himself or herself.

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

Not a bad idea kind of like this if u for real let me know how to reach you like for real u can reach me here 0812 638 452

lottomkyes200:
Not a bad idea kind of like this if u for real let me know how to reach you like for real u can reach me here 0812 638 452

I hope u realized she asked for co parenting, n not to come n take. This means u will bring something to the table o!

Awo oni gold diggers will start coming out now.

Bimsake:
Thank you everyone for your candied advise and all comments. I'll continue to read more comments. Some of them are very comforting. Thank you again.

@ifyalways your comment hurts but then i figured its the bitter truth. But one day soon in the near future when you're around my age, make sure you have it all stable so you don't have to chew your words. Remember nobody wishes misfortune upon himself or herself.

Not necessary.

Im far older than you and stable.

Thank you and have a good life.

ifyalways:

Biko, some things work in developed countries where there are checks and balances.

You cant be acting British in Mushin.

40 years old (or almost) , with a child is already midnight newspaper according to Nld and a vast majority of today's youth. What You'd get here is boy toys who will scratch your Vee for a fee.

The type of men you need are not on NLD.

Shut up!

ifyalways:
Not necessary.
Im far older than you and stable.
Thank you and have a good life.

Stop lying...how old are u? She just told u d truth!

Let's be guided by the way we respond to people's heart cry! The Op seems to be in dilemma, hitting her where it hurt most is totally uncalled for and insensitive! It takes a strong heart to come out plain like she did, she needed light on her path, and guidance, which we can help her with without hurting her feelings and emotions so it won't degenerate into serious depression or even suicide, I hope you learn from this @ifyalways
Op you need to meet with a counselor or someone you can talk to, you need a child? good! however you can always have it in the right way, I pray light will shine on your path and you will be fully fulfilled, Amen.

Fairytale does exist...

I wish you luck in your search




This will be the fate of any girl who rejects genuine suitors now.

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

DM me or send me mail.

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

hello. I am intrested. I am a 35 year old single man not intrested in marriage but I want to have kids. I am looking for a independent lady to walk down that road with. But financial and emotional suppose raising the kids would be shared. But you have to pay your own bills. Please send me a mail on nelson.adegboye@gmail.com if you are Intrested.

Bimsake:
Hello everyone, I'm looking for a responsible man willing to co-parent with me. I'm a divorcee with one child hoping to have one more before I turn 40 which is around the corner. I haven't been fortunate with love so I'm not really looking to remarry. I'm open to a civil partnership without undue pressure. Otherwise I'm fine with you being in your child's life only and doing the needful. If you're out there hopingto have kids without the pressure or commitment of marriage,do get in touch. Cheers.

Good luck in your search.