We can confirm that one courageous SARS officer did in fact arrest a man in Lagos today because he "looked so happy". This despicable criminal was caught driving around early this morning with a smile on his face. This is in clear violation of the mandate of the recently established Anti-Happiness branch of the Special Anti Robbery Squad.
Speaking today to our reporter, SARS Officer James Bolarinde, commonly known as "Ewure", confirmed that he bravely detained a twenty year old man this morning because of his facial expression.
Speaking today to our reporter, SARS Officer James Bolarinde, commonly known as "Ewure", confirmed that he bravely detained a twenty year old man this morning because of his facial expression.
"It was around for 7am. I saw him getting down from his car and I knew immediately that I had to arrested him. It's difficult for SARS officers like me to identify real criminals on the street. So what we've started doing is arresting anyone that looks too happy. It's perfect. I mean, with the poor condition of this country, why would anybody be smiling unless they're a criminals? It just make sense".
Our reporter attempted to speak with the suspect but only had a few minutes before he was moved to a more secure prison for further torture and interrogation.
The twenty year old man said "I was on my way to the hospital to pay my mother's medical bills. That's why I was smiling. I had a bag containing 120, 000 naira in the car. Please sir just make sure the bag gets to the hospital. Please help my mother sir."
When confronted, the SARS officer, denied finding any money in the car. He was holding a brand new iPhone at the time.
Reports that indicate the officer also threatened our reporter with a shotgun before chasing him out of the police station while cursing his father remain unconfirmed.
But for now, we can all rest easy knowing that brave men and women of service are here to protect us from anyone THEY decide is a criminal.


(This article is for entertainment only. It's not real)

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