Two of the problems with people especially Africans are the entitlement mentality and the seeming inability to recognise and respect individual boundaries. Many have a problem and take offence when you try to make clear to them that, in certain areas, you owe them nothing.

1) PARENTS AND THE ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY
Most parents act like giving birth to you and taking up their responsibility of catering for you are huge favours they are granting and therefore you must be in eternal servitude to them. Parents don't realise and don't want to realise that when you bring in a child into this world, it's their duty to take care of that child no matter what it takes and they do not deserve a trophy or medal for taking up their responsibility. That's the truth.

However, many parents try to reinforce the idea that you owe them for giving birth to you and catering for you. You hear words like "after carrying you in the womb for nine months," "after all I did to take care of you," "you can't appreciate my efforts towards you" etc. All these are silly sentiments and entitlement mentality. Did the child ask the parents to have sex? Did the child send them message? Where else were you supposed to carry the child if not the womb? Were you expecting the pregnancy to be for 2 weeks? Then what's with the silly sentiments and entitlement mentality?

Some parents like to ring it in your ears how they suffered for you and imply that you owe them a lot for life. If you bring a child into this world, it's your responsibility to cater for the child. No matter how hard you suffered, it's your still your self-inflicted burden and you deserve no accolade or trophy for raising up the child. If the suffering of raising a child is too much, why did you give birth in the first place? Many children fall for their parents' entitlement mentality and blackmail that they become their parents' retirement benefits. Many children fall for their parents' entitlement mentality and blackmail that they let their parents become the authorised control freaks in their lives.

Many parents treat their children anyhow forgetting that their children have emotions and are human beings too. They justify that treatment with "I am the one taking care of you."

2) RELATIONS AND THE ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY
The word "family" is an illusion. An illusion that justifies the entitlement mentality some members have towards others. How can you be angry at your uncle for not financially lending you a helping hand during some crisis? Is he your father? Did he bring you into this world? Your uncle owes you nothing. Family as you see it Hollywood and telenovelas, is not always support group that form a pillar for you during hard times. Most of your relatives don't care about you. If you know, you know. Most of your relatives are not happy for your progress. If you have money, they get sentimental and emotional and start begging every now and then for cash and expect you to give all because you are "family."

Some even have the audacity to imply that you ought to give because you are "family." These same family will disappear during your hard times. You owe nothing to "family" and they owe you nothing. Everyone had to be born somewhere and you, siblings and relatives happened to be connected. All that connects you are genetics. Everyone is hunting for there survival and no one cares. If you present yourself as Mr. Nice Guy, they will drain you and more annoying is that they are never grateful.

First borns should take note that they owe their siblings nothing. First borns should be bothered about establishing themselves instead of wasting their cash training siblings in school who will not appreciate when they start doing well. Your siblings are your parents' responsibility not yours. Be wise.

For those in abroad, stop sending money to family or relatives to keep for you or finance a project of yours. You will hear am. Learn to tell those at home that are dependent on you to go hustle.

As a business person, some try to get your products and services for free all in the name of being "family." Lol. Tell the leeches to fvck off. Even friends try to do such rubbish.

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Useful contributions only.

May God bless you OP for me. I'm becoming 'wicked' to some relatives and even parents because I am using the little moneys I'm getting to sponsor my master programme.

Even my mother never give me 50 naira since I have been going to school but she always want me to send money to her now. My mother didn't call me while in school for two years when I was in school because I told him that I'm about to withdraw from school because of lack of funds.from WAEC level to PhD level, my mother never give me kobo and never care to ask of me except when she needs money. Even today she called me for money. It's only my father that tried for me small.

Every relatives now call me to ask of me and I even tell some of them not to call me again because they never call once while I was in school. The entitlement mentality is too high and I have decided to be 'wicked' so that I can save some money to invest in my future and my children unborn.

lawman88:
May God bless you OP for me. I'm becoming 'wicked' to some relatives and even parents because I am using the little moneys I'm getting to sponsor my master programme.

Even my mother never give me 50 naira since I have been going to school but she always want me to send money to her now. My mother didn't call me while in school for two years when I was in school because I told him that I'm about to withdraw from school because of lack of funds.from WAEC level to PhD level, my mother never give me kobo and never care to ask of me except when she needs money. Even today she called me for money. It's only my father that tried for me small.

Every relatives now call me to ask of me and I even tell some of them not to call me again because they never call once while I was in school. The entitlement mentality is too high and I have decided to be 'wicked' so that I can save some money to invest in my future and my children unborn.

Very good my brother. Be ''wicked." When you are suffering, you won't see these relatives. It's when you are now make it that they will come out of nowhere demanding their share because they are "family." They only care about what they can drain from you. Funny enough, they get offended when you refuse to help them and they label you a bad person. They are usually ungrateful. They don't care about you. If you like yourself, snub them. Your money is for you and your children. The rest that remain is inheritance. Even so called "friends" too are leeches. Stay safe.

@Martinez39

As much as I agree with many of your topics on this forum, I must say you went too far with this thread. Why are you advising people to be cold towards their parents and relatives? Haba!

raptex:
@Martinez39

As much as I agree with many of your topics on this forum, I must say you went too far with this thread. Why are you advising people to be cold towards their parents and relatives? Haba!

Read my topic again. I am not advising anyone to be cold towards their parents and relatives. I was simply pointing out the silly sentiments and entitlement mentality of parents and relatives.

may God bless u for dz.

dz is one big fault with Nigerians.

parents always feel unappreciated, and never really satisfied with whatever their children provide for them.
it has gotten to a level that some of them will claim ur success is a repayment of something good they did in da past.
they claim they deserve all & compare their kids with that of others(who are mostly wealthier) without knowing how much was(materially) put in place in da upbringing of da other kids, and what that person they glorify is doing to make ends meet(which are fraudulent or diabolical in recent cases).

as for relatives, they are da worst. na their own dey vex me pass. people that don't know what u went through will claim that they also trained u. they often use da phrase "our pikin" to justify da fact that they're part of ur (successful) life.
I partially blame youths for dz because some youths always call their uncles & aunties whenever they face any difficulty.

dz acts can't be seen in da westerners who we claim to imitate

This abnormality is becoming normality

One of the few reasons struggling youths go broke beyond return