Most parents want their kids to do well in school, look and behave responsible and go on to become successful adults. But there isn’t a specific manual on how to raise successful children.

However, according to research psychology, there are a handful of pointers that predict success. And just as you may have suspected, much of it comes to your parenting style.

Keep on reading to discover 15 traits that parents of successful children have. Some of them may surprise you!

1. You make your kids do chores

From washing the dishes to taking out the trash, from folding laundry to doing some small errands around the home, someone has to do the little chores. Who should have that responsibility? The hired house help or maid? Or perhaps you? If your kids aren’t doing the chores, then you or your partner or domestic worker are.

But here’s the difference when you let your kids do or get more involved in doing chores: it builds and hones the values of hard work, responsibility and co-operation in them early on.

These go a long way in helping them become successful adults later in life as they learn and imbibe the importance of teamwork, empathy and working on tasks independently – which are core qualities of top performers or star employees and managers.

2. You’re a happier and less stressed version of yourself

Parents have a way of infecting their kids with their moods and habits. Emotions are contagious. If you’re a generally happy and cheerful person, your kids are likely to take on some or all of that in their personality as well.

On the other hand, if you’re stressed and miserable, your children are going to catch those feelings like a cold.

According to a University of Illinois study review, children in conflict-ridden families don’t usually do well, compared to kids whose parents get along.

Of course, you can argue that work, social and environmental pressures nearly everywhere and everyday make stress inevitable in the life of an adult. But it is not about the presence or absence of stress; it is how well you manage it and continue to put on a genuinely positive character.

The University of Illinois research also found out that 20-year-old-plus children who witnessed their parents’ divorce as kids still report pain and distress over the split ten years later.

3. You develop a relationship with your child

There is also scientific research that backs up this point. A 2014 survey of children born to poor parents found out that those who received “sensitive caregiving” in their first 3 years performed better in school, compared to those who didn’t have a healthy parent-child relationship.

The children who enjoyed a healthier parenting style were also able to build healthy relationships with others and had greater academic achievement.

4. You teach your child math early on

Guiding your child to an early grasp of math skills do not only get him/her prepared for future mastery of the subject, but also general future academic achievement, Northwestern University researcher Greg Duncan concluded.

In a detailed study of 35,000 preschoolers across the US, Canada, and England in 2007, it was found that developing math skills at an early age can be a great advantage to a child.

“The paramount importance of early math skills — of beginning school with a knowledge of numbers, number order, and other rudimentary math concepts — is one of the puzzles coming out of the study,” Duncan said.

5. You read to them

When you read regularly to your toddlers, the child will have better language, literacy and reading skills by the time he or she is 4.

That’s because slowly you’ll have developed a love of books in the child and he/she will grow up to become a person who enjoys reading books and gaining new knowledge. That’s according to a scientific result from researchers at the New York University School of Medicine.

6. You focus more on their positive behaviour

Psychology scientists say you should be intentional about reinforcing your child’s positive behaviours by focusing on them, rather than the negative ones.

In contrast, screaming, scolding and shouting at your kids over a bad behaviour may lead to them repeating those actions as the child may internalise a belief that “I’m a bad child who misbehaves and gets scolded,” explains Yale University psychology professor Alan Kazdin.

Consequently, the motivation to correct that negative behaviour is a loss as the child subconsciously makes the negative behaviour he/she is consistently reprimanded for a part of his/her identity. And the negative behaviour may worsen.

So, what is the right approach? Acknowledge and describe your child’s good behaviour when you see it. (Be specific. For example, “Wow, great keeping your room clean. Good girl!”)


Psychology scientists say you should be intentional about reinforcing your child’s positive behaviours by focusing on them, rather than the negative ones.
You may have to go out of your way to do this, but soon you’ll notice an improvement in his/her behaviour.

If your child exhibits negative behaviour, rather than attempting to control him/her, try to understand the child’s perspective and feelings, and then use logical reasoning to get through to him/her.

True, it’s not easy to stop yelling when your children are driving you up to the wall, but making a firm decision not to shout at your kid except it’s a matter of safety really helps. If necessary, just walk away.

7. You show and tell

While you should know when not to respond and to learn to ignore bad behaviour, especially if the child isn’t doing something dangerous, you should also show and tell when necessary. Let your child see those behaviours you want to see in them. Be a model to them, and teach them right from wrong in calm words and actions.

Be clear and consistent on limits. Let them know the consequences of any particular bad behaviour. Explain the rules to them in the language they can understand.

However, listening is important. Be sure to hear them out and let your child finish her story before you make a conclusion.

And lastly on this, if you notice a pattern of misbehaviour, it may be best to talk with your child rather than reminding her of the agreed consequence.

8. You live in a nice neighbourhood

Living in a great neighbourhood with excellent schools is just about the best gift you can give to your growing children.

Besides the academic opportunities, the kids can also get to grow up with peers who value education, hard work and achievement, while even the parents and older children can enjoy access to more career opportunities living in such a neighbourhood.

But do you have to be wealthy to live in a nice neighbourhood? Not necessarily. So, as soon as you get a chance, go for it!

Studies say living in a nice neighbourhood may be a better investment than any extra school lessons or extracurricular activities you may enrol your child.

9. The family eats dinner together

A Harvard University research shows that children who eat with their parents at least 5 times in a week are less likely to find themselves in scandals such as teenage pregnancy, and substance abuse – now or later as older children. They are also less likely to suffer from depression or obesity later in life.

Instead, they are very likely to have more advanced vocabularies, get better grades in school or college and have more self-esteem.

10. You enforce no-screen time and no-screen zones in the home

The brains of children are not developed enough to deal with the addictive risks of spending long periods using a smartphone or iPad. In fact, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that kids who are not up to 18 years should have no access to mobile screen time at all as this can get them permanently altered.

They also recommend parents enforce specific no-screen times and no-screen zones in the home, such as an hour before bedtime, at the dinner table, and on road trips.

11. You teach them empathy

Science says because of their simple and innocent nature, children derive joy when they help or give to others. This is unlike adults who have become complex and self-centred, and naturally looking out for their own needs or after their own interests first.

Lara Aknin’s research shows we can find the same happiness as children do if we learnt to tame our selfish nature and focus on trying to satisfy the needs of others.

If you want your children to be happier with a bouncy spirit, teach them empathy, to learn to serve others and contribute. Get them involved in activities where they get the chance to help others and make a positive impact.

When your children begin to imbibe the values and attitude of contribution more than personal achievement, they’ll be on the right track of building a meaningful life for themselves.

12. You go on family vacations

In a survey done by a student and youth travel group in the US, 1,432 teachers said travelling improved kids’ attitudes in these ways:

They developed more tolerance of other people, their cultures and beliefs.
They had better adaptability and sensitivity.
They increased tolerance and respectfulness.
It expanded their desire to know, learn and/or explore more.
They had more intellectual curiosity.
They desired to travel more.
Their self-esteem and confidence increased.
They became more outgoing.

13. Your kid has a lovable name

There is a broad body of research that has discovered that your name can impact on your level of success.

For instance, if your child’s name sounds lovable and easy to pronounce, most people will be fond of him/her just for that simple reason. If a person’s name is common, they also tend to have a better chance of getting hired.

14. You work

Another Harvard Business School research shows that a child benefits a lot when they grow up seeing their parents go to work regularly and earn legitimately to take care of their family.

In particular, if a growing girl has a working mother (who works outside the home), the child will more likely go to school longer, get gainful employment, climb up the career ladder quickly to a managerial role and generally earn more money – 23% more compared to daughters who had stay-at-home mums.

The impacts were significant on the boys too as they tend to contribute more in household chore and childcare as adults.

15. You’re educated

According to research, women who finished high school or university were more likely to raise children who will also go on to finish a higher level of education and do well in their careers.

Another study shows that the educational level of the parents when a child is 8 years old is a significant pointer to the education and career level the child will attain a couple of decades later.

Conclusion – The Bonus

Now, here’s the bonus – trait number 16, if you like.

Your kid is very likely to grow into a well-educated and successful adult if you’ve read this long article up to this point – to the very end.

Why? Simply because it shows you are a committed parent and you are willing to help your child become better and explore his/her potentials. Congratulations!

However, as much as possible, make sure to implement the other tips above (any of them you’re yet to start working on), so as to become a better parent.

Over time, you’ll discover your kids becoming more self-motivated, resilient and responsible. And you won’t have to nag them most or all of the time. Of course, it’s a path that will demand time and effort from you. But it will be worth it!

http://theischooler.com/2019/04/04/14-traits-in-you-that-can-help-make-your-child-successful/

Cc: Lalasticlala