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Help Save My Marriage - Family - Nairaland

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Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 11:14pm On Jul 03, 2019
Good evening everyone,
Am actually in this family section because I know I'll definitely be getting advise from experienced and people who are willing to help.
I actually got married around January and I dated my wife for some couple of years, tho we were not that intimate due to the fact that she had a terrible experience with her ex boyfriend. So she was trying to play safe cos she probably think I'll break her heart and zoom off.
As regards our sex life when we were dating it was more like quickies and afterwards she'll be really tired after cuddling actually, and whenever we're about to have the second round maybe after 3hrs plus.
Sex wasn't really the priority when we started dating so I wasn't concerned about that and I literally overlooked it.
Now we're married, my wife gets tired after like 10 mins into the sex and there are times when she'll say she needs to rest for like 3 minutes and whenever am still trying to tell her to let's continue my dick would have shrinked and I somehow get really angry about that.
I tried to discuss this issue with her cos I believe in dialogue a lot and she opened up to me that she always get dry after like 10minutes and whenever am thrusting the sex will be painful to her and it do hurt a lot and we've even tried using lubricants but she'll still complain of being tired and then drink water from the bedside fridge and stopping during sex ain't really my thing and there are times when she'll say she ain't interested in it again since I've not yet ejaculated for long.
I love mi wife a lot and I want us to trash this issue out together because cheating is expensive and it will do me more harm than good.
Please help me guys

5 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by sisisioge: 11:16pm On Jul 03, 2019
Wow! Sorry fa....what can one say bayi. It is well fa.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:17pm On Jul 03, 2019
This is clear depression. Find out her stressors,better still she needs to see a psychiatrist to deal with unresolved psychological issues that are draining her energy and causing her to lose interest in pleasurable activities. If you have financial issues, you need to improve and up the game around your home. When the energy in the home is low,it will reflect in the sex life


She needs to speak with a shrink. You need to find her stressors. For starters help her reduce workload at home. Close early, get a house attendant, give gifts to stimulate and jump her internal happy emotions. Take her on vacations. Invest in building positive energy in her and as you build her spirit,soul and emotion up,shell in turn reward you sexually. Don't demand sex cause your a husband or man in this case,but build her up and shell reward you sexually. Its whorish,but this is the sad reality man.



She's clearly unhappy or has unresolved issues,you need to find and fix cause it has formed mental blockages that deprives you of the joy you desire.

Like they say in marriage what affects one,affects both


Missjoy29 DukeofNZ abi I lie?


See there's a how in every woman, you need to find how to drill it out. You need to stimulate desire for you. Dress better,look desirable, perfume,change of clothes,look good and feel good about yourself. The change in the sexual energy in your marriage needs you to work proactively as well.. Dress and feel good make yourself the rock star in town, when your value increases,desire for you increases simultaneously. Work on your finances,build yourself more and better.implement changes to your routine. Act like you don't need sex,in fact reduce demand for it, and when she comes back,regain the power control from her. Do not reveal too much of your emotions during sex like you need her. Have sex with her to make her feel she needs you and is missing a whole lot. You need to turn the table around NY making subtle,smooth and small changes here and there. Start being unpredictable, she can see through your patterns so you no longer demystify her.



To win a woman, you must begin by first mentally fvcking her. When her senses is fcbked out with lusts about you, shell be the one chasing. Bro she has seen you finish o



Daddytime Harddon Generationz Queensekxy Ubunja Martinez39 back me up here

3 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by lilmax(m): 11:20pm On Jul 03, 2019
she isn't attracted to you at the moment

chai women cry

if you cheat now person no go hear word

kpele

3 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by ambivert27(f): 11:25pm On Jul 03, 2019
Hmm, women! very complex beings

3 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 11:25pm On Jul 03, 2019
sisisioge:
Wow! Sorry fa....what can one say bayi. It is well fa.
Thank you
Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:29pm On Jul 03, 2019
Note women are the most unstable thing created in life. You can never work with them from a single perspective. It has to he like a boxer, you need to persistently go around in circles to box them in.



A woman is more unstable than a nuclear reactor. Give her 100k gift and watch your sex life the next week. Grammar will reduce.

4 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:29pm On Jul 03, 2019
Isn't it obvious that you guys ain't sexually compatible?! This babe is a one minute "mount me and cuum quick" type of babe. So you either go for 10 mins and bust a nut or have her complain in pain....

Also, it has all to do with what you do in bed. How do you pleasure her? Have you ever asked her what she would like you to do? How she want to be pleased? How she wants to be touched etc. it's important that this woman is aroused and STAY aroused...it's obvious that within a short time, she is not aroused any longer.... And that could be down to your sexual capacities.

To get to the bottom of this, you need healthy/X-rated/no sugar coating communication with your wife.

12 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:31pm On Jul 03, 2019
Royalroy Move to FP please. Dominique
Re: Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 11:32pm On Jul 03, 2019
kunleweb:
This is clear depression. Find out her stressors,better still she needs to see a psychiatrist to deal with unresolved psychological issues that are draining her energy and causing her to lose interest in pleasurable activities. If you have financial issues, you need to improve and up the game around your home. When the energy in the home is low,it will reflect in the sex life


She needs to speak with a shrink. You need to find her stressors. For starters help her reduce workload at home. Close early, get a house attendant, give gifts to stimulate and jump her internal happy emotions. Take her on vacations. Invest in building positive energy in her and as you build her spirit,soul and emotion up,shell in turn reward you sexually. Don't demand sex cause your a husband or man in this case,but build her up and shell reward you sexually. Its whorish,but this is the sad reality man.



She's clearly unhappy or has unresolved issues,you need to find and fix cause it has formed mental blockages that deprives you of the joy you desire.

Like they say in marriage what affects one,affects both


Missjoy29 DukeofNZ abi I lie?
Thanks bro but sincerely speaking I treat her like the twin sister I never had we play a lot and division of labor is highly practiced I blend pepper and she'll do the rest of the cooking and make live videos whilst she's doing that.. it's all fun actually
we sleep stark naked and I get her gifts at least twice in a week
Just yesterday I got her 2 pairs of sneakers we have loads of uniform wears..
like same wristwatches
same chain
we engage in all sort of pre-intimacy...69, massaging her whole body and boobs with massage oil, pouring fresh yo on each other's sensitive body parts and licking it off..
everything is cool and we're quite young just this sex aspect is what's killing the Vibe

10 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:33pm On Jul 03, 2019
emekagideon:

Thanks bro but sincerely speaking I treat her like the twin sister I never had we play a lot and division of labor is highly practiced I blend pepper and she'll do the rest of the cooking and make live videos whilst she's doing that.. it's all fun actually
we sleep stark naked and I get her gifts at least twice in a week
Just yesterday I got her 2 pairs of sneakers we have loads of uniform wears..
like same wristwatches
same chain
we engage in all sort of pre-intimacy...69, massaging her whole body and boobs with massage oil, pouring fresh yo on each other's sensitive body parts and licking it off..
everything is cool and we're quite young just this sex aspect is what's killing the Vibe


One question have you spoken with her about your concerns? I'm led to ask this single question o
Re: Help Save My Marriage by Nobody: 11:34pm On Jul 03, 2019
There's nothing wrong with your wife. You just overlooked the se.x while dating.

Your wife is the type that would like fore.play. It is not just about penetration. Kiss her, smooch her, suck her nipples while finger fvcking, go down and suck her clit very very well.....watch her face/eyes as u suck. When you discover she's feeling it wella, then you can penetrate, and try to cum with her. Communicate in sex. You can do 69 too. Spice up your sex life bro. Make it fun and enjoyable for both of you.

Don't do like our fathers and fore fathers. And then why do you have to stay for a very long time hitting her? You don't have better things to do? Do you take any performance enhancer before the se.x? Stop it if you do. Go natural.

There's nothing wrong with your wife and nothing wrong with your marriage.

17 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 11:36pm On Jul 03, 2019
MrBrownJay1:
Isn't it obvious that you guys ain't sexually compatible?! This babe is a one minute "mount me and cuum quick" type of babe. So you either go for 10 mins and bust a nut or have her complain in pain....

Also, it has all to do with what you do in bed. How do you pleasure her? Have you ever asked her what she would like you to do? How she want to be pleased? How she wants to be touched etc. it's important that this woman is aroused and STAY aroused...it's obvious that within a short time, she is not aroused any longer.... And that could be down to your sexual capacities.

To get to the bottom of this, you need healthy/X-rated/no sugar coating communication with your wife.
all these things are in check brother...
we text for minutes before I get home as regards how it's gonna go down at night..
we plan every move even before we see BUT....

1 Like

Re: Help Save My Marriage by sisisioge: 11:37pm On Jul 03, 2019
emekagideon:

Thanks bro but sincerely speaking I treat her like the twin sister I never had we play a lot and division of labor is highly practiced I blend pepper and she'll do the rest of the cooking and make live videos whilst she's doing that.. it's all fun actually
we sleep stark naked and I get her gifts at least twice in a week
Just yesterday I got her 2 pairs of sneakers we have loads of uniform wears..
like same wristwatches
same chain
we engage in all sort of pre-intimacy...69, massaging her whole body and boobs with massage oil, pouring fresh yo on each other's sensitive body parts and licking it off..
everything is cool and we're quite young just this sex aspect is what's killing the Vibe

Chai! I don catch fire o embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed

12 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:37pm On Jul 03, 2019
1. She knows shell be rewarded for either bad or good behavior hence she sees no desire to improve performance. This even applies outside the bedroom. Stop rewarding bad behavipr, start placing demands on positive character



2. Sharing chores is see finish. You've reduced to being her first born or younger brother

3 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 11:38pm On Jul 03, 2019
kunleweb:



One question have you spoken with her about your concerns? I'm led to ask this single question o
Yes bro we've spoken a lot over it she wants to please me as well I could remember vividly the day she was so determined to carry on she was literally crying and I was forced to stop cos o can't stand seeing her cry but she was like I shouldn't worry but I just have to

1 Like

Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:40pm On Jul 03, 2019
emekagideon:

Yes bro we've spoken a lot over it she wants to please me as well I could remember vividly the day she was so determined to carry on she was literally crying and I was forced to stop cos o can't stand seeing her cry but she was like I shouldn't worry but I just have to



Ever heard of passive depression? Is she stressed or unhappy with some bad life experiences she's yet to confront?

1 Like

Re: Help Save My Marriage by SageMK: 11:42pm On Jul 03, 2019
So in summary, she gets easily fatigued, thirsty and dry.
Well, maybe this isn't just a case of lack of stimulation.

I suggest you get her hydrated before coitus. I mean the fluid to the bartholin's gland gonna from somewhere. undecided

I know nothing though. Your in-laws will be here soon.

5 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 11:42pm On Jul 03, 2019
MrBrownJay1:
Isn't it obvious that you guys ain't sexually compatible?! This babe is a one minute "mount me and cuum quick" type of babe. So you either go for 10 mins and bust a nut or have her complain in pain....

Also, it has all to do with what you do in bed. How do you pleasure her? Have you ever asked her what she would like you to do? How she want to be pleased? How she wants to be touched etc. it's important that this woman is aroused and STAY aroused...it's obvious that within a short time, she is not aroused any longer.... And that could be down to your sexual capacities.

To get to the bottom of this, you need healthy/X-rated/no sugar coating communication with your wife.
We communicate a lot during sex and even before the sex...
and divorce ain't really the option now
just seeking for a way out
Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:43pm On Jul 03, 2019
Lol in-laws this guy no go kill person
Re: Help Save My Marriage by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:44pm On Jul 03, 2019
emekagideon:

all these things are in check brother...
we text for minutes before I get home as regards how it's gonna go down at night..
we plan every move even before we see BUT....

Well then, this does NOT work so try something else.... Why don't you go home and take it as it comes, no planning. Make it special, make it a surprise, make love to her in places you don't normally do. Make her feel special, make her feel incredible/irresistible. do things you don't normally do....go out of your shell and try it all until you find the perfect fit that works for both of you. It's clear as day that you are enjoying what you are dong while she isn't.
Re: Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 11:46pm On Jul 03, 2019
kunleweb:
1. She knows shell be rewarded for either bad or good behavior hence she sees no desire to improve performance. This even applies outside the bedroom. Stop rewarding bad behavipr, start placing demands on positive character



2. Sharing chores is see finish. You've reduced to being her first born or younger brother
As regards no 1 when I met her I wasn't having dough at all but with her support and she ain't freaked about my financial situation and loads of time when we started dating she was the one giving me money and she stood by me till am well to do now and I feel like the greatest honor is to care for those who once cared for us.
no 2 I really do not see it as much of a big deal.. like it's not much of a hectic work just to lend a helping hand n

11 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 11:49pm On Jul 03, 2019
MrBrownJay1:


Well then, this does NOT work so try something else.... Why don't you go home and take it as it comes, no planning. Make it special, make it a surprise, make love to her in places you don't normally do. Make her feel special, make her feel incredible/irresistible. do things you don't normally do....go out of your shell and try it all until you find the perfect fit that works for both of you. It's clear as day that you are enjoying what you are dong while she isn't.
Alright thanks bro
I actually don't get satisfied but she's always satisfied with the few minutes sex.
Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:50pm On Jul 03, 2019
emekagideon:

As regards no 1 when I met her I wasn't having dough at all but with her support and she ain't freaked about my financial situation and loads of time when we started dating she was the one giving me money and she stood by me till am well to do now and I feel like the greatest honor is to care for those who once cared for us.
no 2 I really do not see it as much of a big deal.. like it's not much of a hectic work just to lend a helping hand n


Rewarding bad behavior has nothing to do about finance here


On the chores,while you think its nothing,its psychology,emeka will stick by me even with bad sex and behavior. You've programmer her that you're content with anything hence the internal capacity to make improvent isn't there.


You've unconsciously conditioned her mind to anything is acceptable and as such no need to stress improvement.


Also if you're too used to each other to diminish your attraction,stop sleeping stark naked and start sleeping separately for a while so familiarity is replaced with desire. Excessive familiarity dimishnes desire even in marriage trust me. I've know this since 4 lipsrsealed

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: Help Save My Marriage by Martinez39(m): 11:51pm On Jul 03, 2019
You guys are sexually incompatible. Have a solemn discussion and solicit a serious response from her. As you approach her to discuss, try making it clear, politely, that you will not tolerate flippancy on her part and she must be serious and she must strive to rectify this issue urgently.

A being in its prime with one life to live should not settle for less when it can get more. Have a serious discussion with your wife. The outcome can only be any of the following:
1) You start seeing positive changes.
2) Nothing changes(either because the efforts of you both to remedy the situation were futile or your wife didn't try at all) and you endure the marriage or walk away.
Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 11:52pm On Jul 03, 2019
Liissfavvy how have u been
Re: Help Save My Marriage by MrBrownJay1(m): 11:54pm On Jul 03, 2019
emekagideon:

Alright thanks bro
I actually don't get satisfied but she's always satisfied with the few minutes sex.

If that is indeed the case then you guys are simply not sexually compatible.... While you expect 2hs sex showdown, she is more into the 10mins sex ("wham bam thank you ma'am" type)

1 Like

Re: Help Save My Marriage by baby124: 11:56pm On Jul 03, 2019
Go and check with a doctor that her heart is ok for the sex marathons that you like. She may not be healthy enough. Don’t you hear of people that collapse after/during sex? Also, she might be dealing with a childhood trauma that relates to sexual molestation/violence. You need to get her help. Psychological counseling and assistance.

I think she’s faking the sexual satisfaction. Women who have healthy sexual history enjoy sex. Most issues with sex may come from health reasons, sexual preference ie gay or violent sexual past.

If sex is important to you and she’s not willing to be honest and seek help about her condition. Please reconsider the marriage and don’t bring a child into the situation just yet. I don’t know if you are the type to be keeping girlfriends outside for at least 40yrs of marriage.

9 Likes

Re: Help Save My Marriage by emekagideon: 12:02am On Jul 04, 2019
kunleweb:



Rewarding bad behavior has nothing to do about finance here


On the chores,while you think its nothing,its psychology,emeka will stick by me even with bad sex and behavior. You've programmer her that you're content with anything hence the internal capacity to make improvent isn't there.


You've unconsciously conditioned her mind to anything is acceptable and as such no need to stress improvement.


Also if you're too used to each other to diminish your attraction,stop sleeping stark naked and start sleeping separately for a while so familiarity is replaced with desire. Excessive familiarity dimishnes desire even in marriage trust me. I've know this since 4 lipsrsealed
I sincerely understand This perfectly bro
thank you so much
I'll give it a trial asap.
Re: Help Save My Marriage by kunleweb: 12:05am On Jul 04, 2019
emekagideon:

I sincerely understand This perfectly bro
thank you so much
I'll give it a trial asap.


wink
Re: Help Save My Marriage by Nobody: 12:23am On Jul 04, 2019
She has a low libido hence, the reason why her vi gina secretes low amount of wetness that lasts for only 10 minutes like you said. You guys should try ora l sex more, before sex and in between sex ( recovery period). That would go a long way reprogramming her mind for more sex.

4 Likes

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