I need help from Christians only please. The Bible tells us we have yo forgive. My problem is that the Bible doesn't tell me HOW to do it. I don't know how to do it. I've tried saying I forgive but they are just words. I still hate the people who wronged me and honestly would like revenge but because of my faith I don't seek revenge. I have been attacked since childhood. I'm not sure if I'm cursed. I keep being attacked and I am well and truly an adult. I can't forget the humiliations, I remember them all, even the ones since childhood. The only way is to forgive because I can't change the past. Please give me step by step instructions on how to forgive. I really need to know if I'm meant to feel anything after I forgive people and what does it mean if I don't feel anything. Thank you

First and foremost, it's a good thing that you fear God to the extent that it is able to stop you from doing things you are inclined to do, which is go contrary to His instructions.

That's a very good base to build your faith upon.

I can understand how hard it feels to be hurt, humiliated, abused, and to be able to let go and forgive. However I don't want you to get it twisted, that God ever asked us to also forget, for that one of the greatest illusions ever.

For how can one forget when what someone did to the person left an indelible scar on the person's body?

So the "forget" aspect is man's addition, but what God only asks of us is to forgive.

I understand that is not the easiest thing in the world, but that's the price we ourselves have to pay to be forgiven by God, as Jesus simply puts it:

Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV)

14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

So for this very reason, it's important you take it as an obligation, because you need God's forgiveness yourself, so let that serve as a motivation for you do so. As if you have no other choice but must do it because your life depends on it.

So although it's not that easy to do, that's an orientation which helps me in the area of forgiveness, hence at the beginning of my prayer to God, after praying for God to forgive me my sins, I ask Him to help me forgive those who have trespassed against me as He had commanded me to do, so I would also be forgiven by Him.

And one way to know if you had forgiven those who trespassed against you or not, is what you wish to happen to them, for if you wish for evil to happen to them, then you've not obviously not forgiven them, but if good, then the chances are that you have forgiven them.

That's why Jesus said that we should pray for our enemies, and do good to those hurt us etc., because that goes contrary to what we do when we don't forgive them.

So that's a good place to start, whenever you pray, pray for all those who've hurt you instead of against them as Jesus had instructed.

That would be a significant step in the path of true forgiveness, and as you continue in it, you'd gradually you'd come to the point where it becomes instinctive, that even when someone hurts you, and you know that God may consequently deal with the person, you'd immediately intercede on the person's behalf that God forgives them.

For that's what Jesus did on the cross, whose example Stephen followed while he was being stoned.

And there are many other things that can inspire forgiveness in someone, like knowing the value of a soul, considering how much God paid it, for that would make one overlook some of the things his enemies do. Also humbling one's self as though one is nothing but God is everything, because one of the major reasons behind unforgiveness is pride.

It's quite interesting that this is coming at a time that the topic of forgiveness has recently been on the front burner, concerning certain threads that i have lined up.

God bless.

sf08:
I need help from Christians only please. The Bible tells us we have yo forgive. My problem is that the Bible doesn't tell me HOW to do it. I don't know how to do it. I've tried saying I forgive but they are just words. I still hate the people who wronged me and honestly would like revenge but because of my faith I don't seek revenge. I have been attacked since childhood. I'm not sure if I'm cursed. I keep being attacked and I am well and truly an adult. I can't forget the humiliations, I remember them all, even the ones since childhood. The only way is to forgive because I can't change the past. Please give me step by step instructions on how to forgive. I really need to know if I'm meant to feel anything after I forgive people and what does it mean if I don't feel anything. Thank you

You must love your enemies unconditionally and forgive them as ALMIGHTY GOD commands. Unforgiveness is sin.


Matthew 6:15
"But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

Luke 6:27
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,"

Mark 11:25:
"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

Matthew 6:14-15:
" For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."

sf08:
I need help from Christians only please. The Bible tells us we have yo forgive. My problem is that the Bible doesn't tell me HOW to do it. I don't know how to do it. I've tried saying I forgive but they are just words. I still hate the people who wronged me and honestly would like revenge but because of my faith I don't seek revenge. I have been attacked since childhood. I'm not sure if I'm cursed. I keep being attacked and I am well and truly an adult. I can't forget the humiliations, I remember them all, even the ones since childhood. The only way is to forgive because I can't change the past. Please give me step by step instructions on how to forgive. I really need to know if I'm meant to feel anything after I forgive people and what does it mean if I don't feel anything. Thank you

the bolded is where your problem is, if you don't forget, you won't forgive genuinely, you'll only be saying it. You need to learn to forget what ever anyone has done against you and move on with your life, that is the act of forgiveness!
Hebrews 8:12 - "for I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more".

Please let me say thank you for answering. I'm extremely grateful you all used your time to answer. The advice you all gave me I have read over carefully and will start to do it today. Thank God there are people like you all who help each other in this way. I won't say God bless you because I'm in no position to bless anyone but I hope He does bless you.

sf08:
I need help from Christians only please. The Bible tells us we have yo forgive. My problem is that the Bible doesn't tell me HOW to do it. I don't know how to do it. I've tried saying I forgive but they are just words. I still hate the people who wronged me and honestly would like revenge but because of my faith I don't seek revenge. I have been attacked since childhood. I'm not sure if I'm cursed. I keep being attacked and I am well and truly an adult. I can't forget the humiliations, I remember them all, even the ones since childhood. The only way is to forgive because I can't change the past. Please give me step by step instructions on how to forgive. I really need to know if I'm meant to feel anything after I forgive people and what does it mean if I don't feel anything. Thank you

You didn't give us any background or explanation for what you experience.

So it's difficult to make a judgement, in my opinion.

I'd say just cast your worries on God.