guddsid:

infidelity is prominent in the southwest but its because of the "freewill" like you said . There is no value for marriage in the southwest (judging by what i have seen , other people's view might be different) [/b]and this is because in the southwest there is no culture of paying a certain price for the bride . f[b]or example in hausa land , most of them still practice the marital ritual of being whipped with the cane for some time just to show that the man is ready to take anything for his precious wife to be (sounds barbaric but its a price) , the Igbo's and the ND folks pay a bride price / dowry and they get to buy a couple of valuable thing just to let the family of the girl know that they appreciate them bringing such a beautiful person into this world and that they are ready to do anything to marry her , However in the southwest its a different issue . There is little or no price paid for the bride and we all know humans don't appreciate what you get for "free" despite the silly saying that "the best things in life a free"lol , This makes the husband engage in wife battery and extra marital affairs and this opens the doors fot the husband to consider getting another wife because there is a 99% chance that he would get her for "free" too [/b]and t[b]he wife feeling miserable has to turn into the hands of another "caring" man outside their marriage , while all this is going on the little children (boys or girls) are learning from this and when they find themselves in such a situation they would either do what their mom or dad did . so the cycle goes on and on and that's probably why there's infidelity in the southwest of Nigeria.

guddsid:

you are a very ignorant person because all you seem to know is igbo vs yoruba , igbo this , igbo that . who told you thats how i view the topic on this thread ? i am telling you what i know about yoruba's who i have lived with , i have lots of them as friends also and they always say the same thing about the promiscuous nature of the average yoruba girl , i have friends who have studied and served (NYSC) in the S/W . You would be really dumb to think of my advice to yoruba women as an insult . Anyway it only shows the bible is right when it said "advice a wise man and he becomes your friend , advice a fool and you become his enemy "

Yes, as usual. After attempting on feeding ppl the overall ignorant generalized statement that infidelity is prominent in one are, they come up with these stories about knowing these ppl and talking t these ppl and seeing ish.

Where is the data to show that Igbo women are more promiscuous in marriage as you earlier stated?

Sooo sick of all these tribalistic henchmen. Just look thru your posts and see how sad your hate for Yoruba ppl are Talk about ignorant.

guddsid:

you made a mistake on your post so i had to correct you . Look do you have a yoruba friend (a guy )over there if yes , has he lived in the south western part of Nigeria ? if yes ask him to be honest with you and tell you what he thinks about yoruba women and if he doesn't have any answer to that then tell him to ask his friends you would see that i know what i am talking about , i wouldn't want to use my own experience because you would jump on my neck and start screaming tribalist and i know very well that i am not a tribalist , if you look at my threads you would notice that i am a 100% Nigerian , i just hate tribalism and things like that . Unlike you , you and a few others love taking jabs at hausa's and igbos . users like namfav and alj harem know you well as well as a few others

guddsid:

you said i should do some "googling" i did some look here

[url]http://books.google.com.ng/books?id=fwc5AAAAIAAJ&pg=PA58&lpg=PA58&dq=infidelity+yoruba&source=bl&ots=b9_Dblj1Zm&sig=h8Py2tg9o-MkaWQZtneVlP8SR38&hl=en&ei=qbbbTPv-O4-T4QaK2ajqBw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBUQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=infidelity%20yoruba&f=false[/url]

i really didn't know how to get the screen shot so if you can please place pages 57 and 58 [/b]here on NL . According to the book Mr Fadipe (a yoruba i believe ) says on page 58 that [b]divorce in yoruba marriages use to be very rare but now they are among the most unstable marriages in Africa with more than 5% breaking up every year and most of the women are already pregnant when they decide to go out of the relationship . It also says that most of yoruba men who file for divorce do so on the grounds of adultery and infidelity on the part of the yoruba wife .  Also Mr Olusanya (definitely a yoruba man ) who was part of the research stated  that most divorce cases are not related to infertility on the part of the man or woman but that the wife has become pregnant by her lover outside her marital union .  It also says that immediately after  the divorce the yoruba woman goes into her lovers home (meaning she already has a lover while still in her marital union) . Look i am not a tribalist , you advised me to do some googling and i did just that !  now you do as i suggested , ask yoruba men around you what they think about the s3x life of yoruba girls and women at this present time and you would see what they would tell you . i know what i am talking about ok

quadrant4:

Ileke Idi which part of Ekiti are you from?

guddsid:

your link talks about igbo men infidelity not women . I know why you are very angry @ my post , you think i am coming from a "tribalistic" point and if you take the time out to read my post on this thread you would notice that i am not a tribalist , Have you bothered asking any yoruba man what i told you to ask them ?

quadrant4:

I am the one asking i wanna know because i am from Ekiti state and i appreciate your level of intelligence in all u wrote please keep it up.

quadrant4:

Ijero Ekiti though i have not been there for past 20 years. What about you?

GNBohr:

guddsid and aloy+emeka, your knowledge and understanding of yorubaland, its people, history, culture, traditions and religion practices are totally wrong and biased.

Just like the Europeans and Americans see Nigerians as corrupt, fraudulent, 419ers, tricksters, dupes, unreliable, drug-pushers, dishonest; and we all rise to say that is not true. Our reason - just because a few Nigerians commits these atrocities doesnt make all of us bad.

I dont know if you (guddsid/aloy+emeka) live in Europe, am sure you must have witnessed directly or indirectly the maltreatment of Nigerians as a result of this general misconceptions. I call it a misconception because am a Nigerian.

Just like you bring some references and data to buttress your argument on the Yoruba polygamous/divorce issue, so also abound research work and references, information and statistical data that establishes these misconceptions against the people of Nigeria. They never make these assertions right or correct.

Just like what the Europeans and Americans know about Nigerians are not totally true, what you people claim to know about Yorubas are very much misplaced. It is a fact that human being are deficient in their assessment and judgement of others because of prejudices, biases, misconceptions and ignorance. These human failings affect our world view, positions, principles, philosophies and hypotheses.

These human failings are so dominant in our psyche that it influences our decisions and policies. Among the igbos for instance, there are issues that separates them,  the Osu caste is an example. Ditto in other national ethnicities in Nigeria.

It is convenient to say that the Yorubas are bad in the way they organise and handle their affairs, family, religion, trade, profession, government, intra-tribal and inter-tribal relationships. It is also convenient to say that Igbos, Hausas, Itshekiris, Ijaws, Fulanis, Ibibios, Efiks, Isokos, Idomas, Junkuns, Tivs, Igalas, Tapas, Kanuris, etc are similarly bad in certain areas that they organise and handle their affairs, family, religion, trade, profession, government, intra-tribal and inter-tribal relationships.

There is no culture that is totally bad and there is no culture that is totally good. That is why social scientist proves that culture is dynamic and will keep evolving. I have many aspects of Yoruba, igbo, Hausa, Itshekiri, Ijaw, Fulani, Ibibio, Efik, Isoko, Idoma, Junkun, Tiv, Igala, Tapa, Kanuri, etc cultures as well of cultures of Europeans, Americans, Chinese, Indians, Malaysians, Arabs, Jews, etc.

How yorubas live now is not the same way they lived hundred years ago and will not live the way they are now a century from now. The problem I have with people like you two is that you use a microcosm as a macrocosm but the world and its people really are a spectrum.

In all how you see and understand a people is a function of the kind of interaction you have with some members of that group of people. I remember being told that Akan people eats human flesh and I was given loads of references and witnesses to convince me not to live amongst them or get too close in relationships with them. How indeed wrong that claim came out to be.

You cannot totally agree with some aspects of other people's culture just like others will not totally agree with your own people's culture. So enough of running other cultures down.

Gbam!
Gbam!
Wow! You are too much. . .well said from start to finish.

DapoBear:

Dude, you've really to provide references for things you claim. Which study demonstrated this?

DapoBear:

In other words, you pulled it out of your backside. No offense, but that is not the methodology legitimate social scientists use to make statements like that. If it is pure speculation, then say so. If original research, write it up somewhere so we can see the methodology you use to come to your conclusion. If published research, reference it.

GNBohr:

guddsid and aloy+emeka, your knowledge and understanding of yorubaland, its people, history, culture, traditions and religion practices are totally wrong and biased.

Just like the Europeans and Americans see Nigerians as corrupt, fraudulent, 419ers, tricksters, dupes, unreliable, drug-pushers, dishonest; and we all rise to say that is not true. Our reason - just because a few Nigerians commits these atrocities doesnt make all of us bad.

I dont know if you (guddsid/aloy+emeka) live in Europe, am sure you must have witnessed directly or indirectly the maltreatment of Nigerians as a result of this general misconceptions. I call it a misconception because am a Nigerian.

Just like you bring some references and data to buttress your argument on the Yoruba polygamous/divorce issue, so also abound research work and references, information and statistical data that establishes these misconceptions against the people of Nigeria. They never make these assertions right or correct.

Just like what the Europeans and Americans know about Nigerians are not totally true, what you people claim to know about Yorubas are very much misplaced. It is a fact that human being are deficient in their assessment and judgement of others because of prejudices, biases, misconceptions and ignorance. These human failings affect our world view, positions, principles, philosophies and hypotheses.

These human failings are so dominant in our psyche that it influences our decisions and policies. Among the igbos for instance, there are issues that separates them, the Osu caste is an example. Ditto in other national ethnicities in Nigeria.

It is convenient to say that the Yorubas are bad in the way they organise and handle their affairs, family, religion, trade, profession, government, intra-tribal and inter-tribal relationships. It is also convenient to say that Igbos, Hausas, Itshekiris, Ijaws, Fulanis, Ibibios, Efiks, Isokos, Idomas, Junkuns, Tivs, Igalas, Tapas, Kanuris, etc are similarly bad in certain areas that they organise and handle their affairs, family, religion, trade, profession, government, intra-tribal and inter-tribal relationships.

There is no culture that is totally bad and there is no culture that is totally good. That is why social scientist proves that culture is dynamic and will keep evolving. I have many aspects of Yoruba, igbo, Hausa, Itshekiri, Ijaw, Fulani, Ibibio, Efik, Isoko, Idoma, Junkun, Tiv, Igala, Tapa, Kanuri, etc cultures as well of cultures of Europeans, Americans, Chinese, Indians, Malaysians, Arabs, Jews, etc.

How yorubas live now is not the same way they lived hundred years ago and will not live the way they are now a century from now. The problem I have with people like you two is that you use a microcosm as a macrocosm but the world and its people really are a spectrum.

In all how you see and understand a people is a function of the kind of interaction you have with some members of that group of people. I remember being told that Akan people eats human flesh and I was given loads of references and witnesses to convince me not to live amongst them or get too close in relationships with them. How indeed wrong that claim came out to be.

You cannot totally agree with some aspects of other people's culture just like others will not totally agree with your own people's culture. So enough of running other cultures down.

IGBOboyy:

Valuable is only Valuable to he who values it. With that said let me point out 2 things


1, Things that come cheap or free are hardly or never valued

2, Yoruba dowries are one of the cheapest in the world

Both points says it all.

So increasing the bride price would safe marriages? Huh

IGBOboyy:

Think about it!

High bride prices is not guaranteed to stop divorces, nor is he guaranteed to make the man more picky when it comes to marrying a woman.