I don't know the reason why I'm thinking of this lately, I never have the plan of getting married anytime soon– broke person like me. But irrespective of social stratification caused by financial capabilities, there has always being a sort of prevalent relationship between mother in-laws and the son's wife.

I don't know much about upper class or middle class in society but if I'm to go by statistics gotten from social media of people that seems to be in either of the above mentioned classes, I can categorically state that mother inlaw/ son wife's relationship are, in most cases, saddle with hate between these two parties like those of lower class( speaking from experience)

I understand that some mother in-law are evil, at least that's the only logical reason that they could give when asked reason behind the hate for their mother in-laws.
Ladies what's the other reason that make most of you hate your husband mother's?
And to man out there, how do you manage in a situation like this?

It's the mother in law who doesn't want to let go, she has been taking care of her son until the woman showed up.

The mother inlaw should be pitied. It's still her son, and he (the son) deserves to be taken care of.

Secondly every woman knows about the way they can manipulate men. The mother inlaw is on the look out so she (daughter in-law)doesn't manipulate her son.

Lastly the little money the Son usually send to the mother is reduced due to the daughter in law.

DaVader:


I understand that some mother in-law are evil,

You've said it all

Ebonygirl1:


You've said it all

Then what about the ones that are not evil.you will become a mother in law someday. I hope it will be comfortable to call u evil too?

nams77:

Then what about the ones that are not evil.you will become a mother in law someday. I hope it will be comfortable to call u evil too?

The person I quoted said some are evil. I simply agreed. SOME are evil.

If the mother in law is good and the wife hates her, she better pray not to give birth to a son. That is my own.

It's a woman thing.

Men compete amongst themselves for money and power, the result could either be wars or inventions.
Women compete amongst themselves for attention, the result could either be mother-in-law drama or plastic surgery.

Nobody hates anybody.How You relate with someone will determine the depth of the rshp.

Some MILs are evil

crackhaus:
It's a woman thing.

Men compete amongst themselves for money and power, the result could either be wars or inventions.
Women compete amongst themselves for attention, the result could either be mother-in-law drama or plastic surgery.

In a sane setting, why would a DIL and MIL even 'compete' for the son's attention in the first place?

They are on different levels.

DaVader:
I don't know the reason why I'm thinking of this lately, I never have the plan of getting married anytime soon– broke person like me. But irrespective of social stratification caused by financial capabilities, there has always being a sort of prevalent relationship between mother in-laws and the son's wife.

I don't know much about upper class or middle class in society but if I'm to go by statistics gotten from social media of people that seems to be in either of the above mentioned classes, I can categorically state that mother inlaw/ son wife's relationship are, in most cases, saddle with hate between these two parties like those of lower class( speaking from experience)

I understand that some mother in-law are evil, at least that's the only logical reason that they could give when asked reason behind the hate for their mother in-laws.
Ladies what's the other reason that make most of you hate your husband mother's?
And to man out there, how do you manage in a situation like this?

A lot of MILs did not have peace and love in their marriages. With the stay for the kids' advice, they poured all that affection and love on their kids so not willing to let go when he is married.

Now, because they know that their meddlesome behavior would hurt their daughters' marriages, most of them would refrain from it in their daughters' homes.

Also, the culture of sons adding their wives to the family instead of leaving, cleaving and joining with their wives to form a new branch of the family tree worsen the matter and DIL just waits to become MIL before returning the favour. Some might wonder why the DIL doesn't become a good MIL after her experience: it is the same reason why a junior student is gingerly waiting to be a senior so he/she can bully others. (my boarding house peeps will testify).

Please note leave and cleave not abandon and cleave. This means that the new couple (son and DIL) looks after both parents'/families' interests as a unit.

This builds the next point: some DILs are very selfish and think everything about the husband's family is evil. Well, the black pot prepared the white Eko you though fit for marriage (the son). They don't want the husband's family around, they think any project about them is not useful, they think their traditions are all bad etc. and only want their family members around. News flash: both families are now your responsibilities to care for jointly within your resources.

Some sons cum husbands are yet to decide if they want to be Mama's boy or Sisi's husband. They are influenced by every whims of their mothers and do not have the capacity to make decisions jointly with their wives and stick by it. They see their marital home as an extension of their birth home and permit anyone the right to treat their wives with disregard and disrespect. 'Oh, Mama re-arranged the house for the gas to be outside? That is how we did it at Ede.', 'Shade dipped her hands into the soup pot, that has been her trademark.' Note that Mama or Shade in lost cases WOULD NOT do that in their daughter's home.

Some wives also carry themselves with so much low esteem that the in-laws have the guts to treat her anyhow. Read a story here where they are pouring soup and all sorts in the lady's home and she was still begging them.

Did it start today? No.
Will it end tomorrow? No.

bukatyne:


In a sane setting, why would a DIL and MIL even 'compete' for the son's attention in the first place?

They are on different levels.

Does anyone know the reason why women do half the things they do?

See some of your sisters above already claiming that some mothers-in-law are evil. They seem to have forgotten that the so-called MIL is also a woman like them and they are not different.

In both a sane and an insane setting (even in the very worst of settings), have you ever seen men talking about fathers-in-law the way you women talk about mothers-in-law?

I dey talk say na so una just dey - women thing, and you want to start argument.

I think the husband is the only one that can maintain a good relationship between his wife and mother.

But whatever the case may be, your wife is your wife. Your mother is your mother. Who also has (or had) her own husband.

And any wife who wants to be an Ore is on her own.

bukatyne:


In a sane setting, why would a DIL and MIL even 'compete' for the son's attention in the first place?

They are on different levels.

Because women are petty
It is not their fault though, it is nature
That is how they were made

Some MILs are demons

LewsTherin:
I think the husband is the only one that can maintain a good relationship between his wife and mother.

But whatever the case may be, your wife is your wife. Your mother is your mother. Who also has (or had) her own husband.

And any wife who wants to be an Ore is on her own.

If only they would. Maybe they like the bickering. Makes them feel special or they just thrive in such setting(s).

If u want peace to reign in ur house as a MAN, never keep ur mum and wife under same roof. U can visit her, she can come when ur wife delivers etc but not perpetually staying with u. If u do this, ur wife and mum won't have any reason to be at each others neck.

I do not hate my mother in-law, my sisters do not hate their mother in-law, all my friends do not hate their mothers in-laws. So who are the most women you are talking about?

Why would a daughter-in-law hate her mother-in-law? Except she is selfish, bad mannered or maybe outright EVIL!!!

No matter how bad or wicked a mother-in-law is, a good woman can be exasperated, frustrated, disappointed, sad and can even dislike but would never hate.

Afterall, you married her son.

I don't relate with my MIL much but I don't as well hate her,maybe because she doesn't have much relationship with my husband,my husband left his mother when he was 4 or 5,to stay with an uncle,my husband was maltreated then by the said uncle,he complained to his mother but she ignored and neglected him,he lived with that uncle for 10years...
I think this caused a strain in the son-mother relationship. Somehow, I got entangled after many years down the line, I think my MIL hasn't understood that she hurt her son deeply and trust African mothers, she doesn't believe there's need to apologize.