THE FIRST DAY I TRIED TO KILL A CHICKEN….Part 1
.



I spent the previous night on my Braveheart23 2go account , chatting up precious and promising to send her 100 go credits as Christmas gift..She was obviously excited and I was glad..I was beginning to like her and was just concluding plans to tell her to be my “Girl”..
We chatted till around 2am before my sagem battery died and there was no light to boost the phone as the power holders held their light to themselves like a man without fuel holds his gallon at a fuelling station selling at 145 naira.At least I was able to engage her in a lenghty conversation today…I slept off happily with the hope of continuing our gist and fulfilling my promise to her as soon as possible the next morning �..
Boo. Boo…- My Elder sister called out my name like a woman on her MP stung by a scorpion..
Boo boo..she shouted like three more times..
I am coming ….I mumbled.. There was still no light …God .
I got out of the room to see My father and mother in a seriously tensed ghen ghen kinda atmosphere..
Good morning ma..good morning daddy.- None of them answered me.
Mum was in the kitchens sieving rice and Dad was in the living room ,one of his hairy yam legs was placed on the stool.
…Yes..boo.How are you – My Dad replied.
I am fine Sir… I replied and prostrated again..
My mum did not bother to even reply or look at me . she continued her kitchen work…..as she sang Jesus na biggy man , u no dare call am small boy with so much vigour and passion..
” Lola, shey u will not come and find the palm oil for me now” …She shouted at my sister who rushed in to help her find the palm oil which was just right in front of her ….directly..How she didn’t see it amaze me..
I looked at my sister to find out the reason for the way mum was acting but she fled to the kitchen before I could communicate to her by matching her foot..
Boo..
Yes sir…
Merry Christmas ..
Thank you sir …
..
Many more of this in Jesus name….
Amen sir..
”

You will see one chicken outside..White..with red crown like this ..beside the generator outside …ehn …Go and kill it….
..I couldn’t fathom what I heard ….Probably I wasn’t hearing right ……
Kitchen …
….”I said Chicken…chicken ..And be fast with it…We are going to the Church by 11am for the service..
He said and immediately walked out of the living room as I looked on , my mouth wide open …
I was just 15 ..!!!!!

For some minutes, I stood there dumbfounded like a girl 2face just cumed inside her..Why today ?? Why me..
Boo, better go and kill that chicken fast and do not delay me tori olohun” – My mum instructed as she continued with her cooking.. My sister was looking at me as she almost bursted into laughter…. She brought out her white tongue and widened her eye ,bringing her hands to her eyes …
I understood what she meant..she was making jest of me..
I was surprised …
The previous years, My father had always been the one killing the chickens ..when he was not around , we called uncle Dino, our neighbor to help with the herculian task..
But now we have moved to our own house..A silent ,mind your business, dey your own house kinda hood..Which neighbor we wan call on now to help us kill the chicken bai..
This was supposed to be the duty of a man…abi which kind family I enter so..I was just a boy..Jesus …Jesus.. If u can save me from this one , I will serve you forever
Boo, I will not tell you again with my mouth…- My mum shouted again and went to take the knife …Unfortunately for me, she picked the blunt yellow knife in the kitchen and gave it to me..
Oya, be fast so you and your sister can start pulling the feathers..
I could see tears of laughter almost coming out of my sister’s eye …..
I went out to the back of the house , near the generator to meet my victim, adored in white and legs tied with Ankara …poo was everywhere..I looked into the victim’s eye , the victim sef look back…
This is the Chicken here staring at me!!!! Shaking its head..this living thing is what my Father has asked me to murder in cold blood
.
click on the link below to continue reading

http://coolstories22.com/the-first-day-i-tried-to-kill-a-chicken-part-2

Hey this is my joke
Posted it on Facebook sometime around 2009 but...
Smh its all good
I never knew it was this popular

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I have read all the 3 seasons and I can rightly say, Nice Job even dough copied but all na to kill Boredom. You can also follow me on facebook @Isaac Agu, a Comedian.

interesting

good laugh
Add to it with Mr Omor Comedy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yxvWa4IJ0Hk

jameshood:
THE FIRST DAY I TRIED TO KILL A CHICKEN….Part 1
.



I spent the previous night on my Braveheart23 2go account , chatting up precious and promising to send her 100 go credits as Christmas gift..She was obviously excited and I was glad..I was beginning to like her and was just concluding plans to tell her to be my “Girl”..
We chatted till around 2am before my sagem battery died and there was no light to boost the phone as the power holders held their light to themselves like a man without fuel holds his gallon at a fuelling station selling at 145 naira.At least I was able to engage her in a lenghty conversation today…I slept off happily with the hope of continuing our gist and fulfilling my promise to her as soon as possible the next morning �..
Boo. Boo…- My Elder sister called out my name like a woman on her MP stung by a scorpion..
Boo boo..she shouted like three more times..
I am coming ….I mumbled.. There was still no light …God .
I got out of the room to see My father and mother in a seriously tensed ghen ghen kinda atmosphere..
Good morning ma..good morning daddy.- None of them answered me.
Mum was in the kitchens sieving rice and Dad was in the living room ,one of his hairy yam legs was placed on the stool.
…Yes..boo.How are you – My Dad replied.
I am fine Sir… I replied and prostrated again..
My mum did not bother to even reply or look at me . she continued her kitchen work…..as she sang Jesus na biggy man , u no dare call am small boy with so much vigour and passion..
” Lola, shey u will not come and find the palm oil for me now” …She shouted at my sister who rushed in to help her find the palm oil which was just right in front of her ….directly..How she didn’t see it amaze me..
I looked at my sister to find out the reason for the way mum was acting but she fled to the kitchen before I could communicate to her by matching her foot..
Boo..
Yes sir…
Merry Christmas ..
Thank you sir …
..
Many more of this in Jesus name….
Amen sir..
”

You will see one chicken outside..White..with red crown like this ..beside the generator outside …ehn …Go and kill it….
..I couldn’t fathom what I heard ….Probably I wasn’t hearing right ……
Kitchen …
….”I said Chicken…chicken ..And be fast with it…We are going to the Church by 11am for the service..
He said and immediately walked out of the living room as I looked on , my mouth wide open …
I was just 15 ..!!!!!

For some minutes, I stood there dumbfounded like a girl 2face just cumed inside her..Why today ?? Why me..
Boo, better go and kill that chicken fast and do not delay me tori olohun” – My mum instructed as she continued with her cooking.. My sister was looking at me as she almost bursted into laughter…. She brought out her white tongue and widened her eye ,bringing her hands to her eyes …
I understood what she meant..she was making jest of me..
I was surprised …
The previous years, My father had always been the one killing the chickens ..when he was not around , we called uncle Dino, our neighbor to help with the herculian task..
But now we have moved to our own house..A silent ,mind your business, dey your own house kinda hood..Which neighbor we wan call on now to help us kill the chicken bai..
This was supposed to be the duty of a man…abi which kind family I enter so..I was just a boy..Jesus …Jesus.. If u can save me from this one , I will serve you forever
Boo, I will not tell you again with my mouth…- My mum shouted again and went to take the knife …Unfortunately for me, she picked the blunt yellow knife in the kitchen and gave it to me..
Oya, be fast so you and your sister can start pulling the feathers..
I could see tears of laughter almost coming out of my sister’s eye …..
I went out to the back of the house , near the generator to meet my victim, adored in white and legs tied with Ankara …poo was everywhere..I looked into the victim’s eye , the victim sef look back…
This is the Chicken here staring at me!!!! Shaking its head..this living thing is what my Father has asked me to murder in cold blood
.
click on the link below to continue reading

http://coolstories22.com/the-first-day-i-tried-to-kill-a-chicken-part-2