healthserve:



Threathen and regain control of your home if you want her and the marriage back. Kick her out to go to her brother simple. Hold on the your kids and watch out the scenario plays out

The marriage is collapsed already! Threatening her when she doesn't see him as anything will not help his situation.

He should kick her out and keep his kids.

TonyeBarcanista:

The marriage is collapsed already! Threatening her when she doesn't see him as anything will not help his situation.

He should kick her out and keep his kids.

Yes. I said that already the marriage ended already the moment she starts to follow the barking orders of the brother.

healthserve:



Yes. I said that already the marriage ended already the moment she starts to follow the barking orders of the brother.

My annoyance is that he is even thinking of moving out of the house

ocmarion:
thank you very much ... Las las the kids will be fine i tried my best . this days marriage is just too stressful

You didn't do what is expected of you as a man and that is why all these are happening. You should learn your lesson in your future relationship (if any)

TonyeBarcanista:

My annoyance is that he is even thinking of moving out of the house

Whoever takes the bad decision should be the party that takes the effect of the decision. This is how it should be let's one becomes a door mat

ocmarion:


I dont even want the marriage no more she just doesnt want to leave , i have tried involving families in the past it doesnt work

If you are based in the West, you know it is the man who usually leaves the house not the woman, likewise gets custody of the children being minors while you make provisions for their upkeep but the only way you can get primary custody of the kids is if you can prove beyond doubt in court that your wife is mentally unstable and have a certified psychological assessment to back it up and her being the primary caregiver of the kids exposes them to danger physically and emotionally.

healthserve:



Whoever takes the bad decision should be the party that takes the effect of the decision. This is how it should be let's one becomes a door mat

I don't think OP is a Nigerian.

ocmarion:


i know for the fact that its his brother but i have always been tempted to do DNA at some points though my kids look like me and all that but you cant be too sure with all this .. she is not a cheat that i know for the fact ... Right now i'm on 2 week leave and i'm watching the kids while she is at work i even cook before she comes from work all she do when she return is to eat bath and sleep ... I'm giving her all the chance she needs for the changes ... she doesnt have to worry about cooking of doing anything .. so i dont think we are having problems here ..

Thank God for you man.
Just take things easy. But remember to update matured members of her family as well as yours about her behavior.
Keep caring for your kids.
Set boundaries too, have her respect her kids

TonyeBarcanista:
I don't think OP is a Nigerian.

I see. We've failed to ask who has been nurturing the kids grooming on a daily. Bathing, food, etc. If he has stopped attending to this, then there's already an issue in this department as her office is left unattended. May we men not let women kill us in the name of love. Too many men dying untimely.

TonyeBarcanista:

This is irrelevant. He said she wants to go... He should let her go

I didn't ask him to tie her down, I just think it's unfair for him to have to move out of his own house just because his wife is no longer interested.

Whoever moves out of the house becomes the party outside influences will see as the guilty party responsible for the collapse of the marriage. Hence if the woman is guilty she'll do all her best to keep the fortress so she can control the narrative in the aftermath of the whole brouhaha. It's a game. Op needs to realize this. Nothing is random with manipulative and abusive women. Every tactic is part of a bigger puzzle.

ocmarion:
Hi Guys ... needs a public opinion on this . My wife said she is no longer interested in the marriage that she want to exist , in as much as i love her and the kids i believe its best for us .... i love my wife very much but i just cant live with her .. but there are two kids involved trust me those kids are the reason i keep it all together till this moment . she told she would have moved out if she have other places to go because she wasn't working and she broke the news immediately she find a job . we have been married for 7 year and she never work i give her monthly allowance and everything . this is the problem she find a job she is no longer interested in the marriage and she wont move out ... i have to move to the living room while she use our room because we live in 2 bedroom apartment . she said she wont leave the house and want me to rather leave the house for her ... her new job is challenging and she hardly home .. i spend time with the kids more than she does sometimes she gets back at 8 sometimes 9 pm ... i would have done all the necessary thing in the house cook feed the kids and all that when she returns she will go straight to the kitchen eat then spend the rest of the day on the phone with family and friends .. sometimes she will abuse me to her friends and family ... i would have just move out but i fear for the welfare of my kids and its hard starting again getting a house and setting it up ... she is a good person though no one is perfect i just don't know what to do .. she has a brother that lives close to us her brother is one of the reason why we have many issues ... i told her to move in with her brother since she hardly home sometimes the kids are a slept when she return she said i should be the one leaving my house .. I'm not a weak man just don't want drama and i just want my kids to live in a peaceful environment ...

Do not be the one to initiate the divorce, in case she really wants to leave, get counsellors and make it known that you want her to stay.
If you want to keep taking care of your kids, she might end up having to leave the house and pay you child support, depending on the country you are residing in.
Get a good lawyer to represent your and your kids' best interests.

Discussing with a lawyer first before anything is one of the best place to start.

The lady knows what she is doing; she wants to frustrate you until you get tired and leave as she very well knows it's not Nigeria where you can easily push her out.

She plans to wait it all out as she has everything to gain and you on the other hand have everything to lose either ways ( child support, broken home and all). Perfect example of eating your cake and wanting to keep it all.

This woman doesn't even care what a broken home could do to the children, she's ready to let go so easily without trying to make it work at least for the kids; she's aware the law is on her side plus she is getting advice from her brother/boyfriend, hence you need to plan well.

There is no need advising you to salvage your marriage as its pretty clear it ain't working. Marriage doesn't have to reach that stage where hatred creeps in and becomes glaring.

You need to sit down and plan carefully before taking any step; please talk to a good lawyer so you can decide on a you and your children friendly decision to take. Time is ticking please do/start something now as there is no reason at all to live like this, life is too short to live with a spouse like this, I'd rather stay alone, you seem not to care or have the idea of what this could be doing to you psychologically/health wise, not to mention your innocent children.


How long can/will one live on earth that I'll have to live with someone who doesn't want me and is not pretending or hiding it.

The reality a lot of men will/are going through......

Don't make a mistake you'll have to live with for a better rest of your existence!

Just makes sure she pay child support via court if she leaves the custody of the kids to you.

Thank you all for your contributions ' its emotionally exhausting and i have decided to keep my apartment ... might probably rent another place as she refuse to leave will move my properties when she is gone to work and leave for good will keep my kids and get them a maid . will get a lawyer to look into all this .... i will update you all on the next move ... i need more contributions on this i cant really think straight right now . all your prayers too i just want the best for my kids and i dont want them to end up hating me in future . I will leave my door open for visiting i wont necessary ask her for child support... Thank you all

The difference between abroad marriage and Naija marriage. World apart.

Pavore9:


If you can prove beyond doubt in court that your wife is mentally unstable and have a certified psychological assessment to back it up and her being the primary caregiver of the kids exposes them to danger physically and emotionally.

She doesn’t have to be mentally unstable, all OP needs is to prove she is an unfit custodial parent.

I can see three things he can use, if he can prove it. Her hectic work schedule, the children being exposed to weed and the uncle.

ocmarion:
Thank you all for your contributions ' its emotionally exhausting and i have decided to keep my apartment ... might probably rent another place as she refuse to leave will move my properties when she is gone to work and leave for good will keep my kids and get them a maid . will get a lawyer to look into all this .... i will update you all on the next move ... i need more contributions on this i cant really think straight right now . all your prayers too i just want the best for my kids and i dont want them to end up hating me in future . I will leave my door open for visiting i wont necessary ask her for child support... Thank you all

Taking the kids with you without her consent is a huge mistake for your future child custody battle and it’s also kidnapping. Get a lawyer, start from today, record and document any and everything that would prove you’re the fit parent to get physical custody of the kids.

However, the timing is not in your favor. You’ve to explain the seven years of marriage where she was a stay at home mom and your kids were fine. You’ll have to explain how a mother can be unfit in such a short period.

Graxie:
The difference between abroad marriage and Naija marriage. World apart.

Both worlds show the danger of excesses.

ocmarion:
Thank you all for your contributions ' its emotionally exhausting and i have decided to keep my apartment ... might probably rent another place as she refuse to leave will move my properties when she is gone to work and leave for good will keep my kids and get them a maid . will get a lawyer to look into all this .... i will update you all on the next move ... i need more contributions on this i cant really think straight right now . all your prayers too i just want the best for my kids and i dont want them to end up hating me in future . I will leave my door open for visiting i wont necessary ask her for child support... Thank you all

Very well. Make sure you discuss with your lawyer before taking any measures and you document and video everything going on. To come out on top, everything needs to be planned accurately like no giving her cash instead a transfer so you can have proof of dealings. God will see you through bro

Marriage is the oldest scam on earth.