Good morning house. Please advice me. OK so, this Christmas my husband didn't give me a dime, not one naira, he went shopping for groceries by himself and kept at home, on the 14th I told him I needed to make my hair, he said he will give me the money the next day, I waited and finally made my hair myself. I can't remember the year I got a gift from him, we have four kids, the annoying part of it is he didn't buy a piece of cloth for the kids, I begged him to at least take them out but he refused. He sent money to people to look good, thing is I know where he keeps his money but I can't dare touch it, I lost it yesterday and told him if he didn't have I will understand but he is just showing me wickedness. I told him I was tired of the marriage I am stressing too much, everything I own I got them myself. Its like I am just a baby making machine and house help / cook. All my clothes are bad, old yet he is not bothered.

Your husband sounds stingy

But I will like to hear his side of the story first before passing judgement

Also try and get a job too so u won't be a liability.. He can leave u anytime

Didn't u see this his behavior when u were dating him? Or u thought he will change when u guys get married

Ur husband must be from jupiter...or an ancient man in a modern world...even to his own.

You’ve aired your views to him it’s left to him to adjust!

Pending that work within what’s available to you as resources / income.

Of whatever you have/get from him remember to set aside a little to cover your personal expenses and perhaps a rainy day- no matter how little.

Find ways to make yourself and the children happy with or without him!

There might be something you might have done UNINTENTIONALLY that made him refuse you your request.


Take your time and check what are those things you do that gets him pissed off,...

But sorry, your husband is just too childish.... Bottling up issues to the point of denying his own kids that good time was really stupid of him.

And you, use your tongue to count your teeth.... My mind tells me your husband is digging another pussy elsewhere.

henriettttta:
Your husband sounds stingy

But I will like to hear his side of the story first before passing judgement

Also try and get a job too so u won't be a liability.. He can leave u anytime

What do you want to hear from him that will justify his act?

Let's assume the wife offended him and he chose to ignore her needs this season. What about the children? Did they also offend him?

Your last sentence made a lot of sense. Op try and empower yourself; no matter how small. Earn your own money.

Nothing for the kids too? Are you guys operating the modern or traditional house running partnership? I think I know the type of your husband. They like to impress outsiders by giving to boost their ego but leave their hones to suffer the loss. It is well o...may God help you.

I doubt if you can get any reasonable advice from a toxic platform like nairaland. I also strongly want to advise against seeking help about how you go about your family challenges in social media. Having said that, I can feel your situation and want to advice you to sit down with your husband and talk things out genuinely. You sound educated and I wonder if your husband sees things from your perspective at all. I would have loved to know some detail about your marriage to help me in advising you, but this platform is not convenient for that cos a lot of toxic people are around to rape your emotions. I hope you find true love in the new year and merry Christmas.

BTW, who pays the house rent, school fees, food stuffs? You or hubby

I have been following your threads on here, you complain a lot. Anyways you guys have 4 kids already so face it marriage has ups and downs. It rains everywhere madam

wendypenny:
Good morning house. Please advice me. OK so, this Christmas my husband didn't give me a dime, not one naira, he went shopping for groceries by himself and kept at home, on the 14th I told him I needed to make my hair, he said he will give me the money the next day, I waited and finally made my hair myself. I can't remember the year I got a gift from him, we have four kids, the annoying part of it is he didn't buy a piece of cloth for the kids, I begged him to at least take them out but he refused. He sent money to people to look good, thing is I know where he keeps his money but I can't dare touch it, I lost it yesterday and told him if he didn't have I will understand but he is just showing me wickedness. I told him I was tired of the marriage I am stressing too much, everything I own I got them myself. Its like I am just a baby making machine and house help / cook. All my clothes are bad, old yet he is not bothered.

Make 2020 a year you will get a job..
I hope you have family, that can help you raise money to start a business, in case you don't find a job.
But don't let 2020 leave you in the same vulnerable position you are now. You need your own money, to meet your own needs

Pray for him
He needs help

Get a job period..and think outside the box..skip the Lamentations!

And what do you do for a living?

Work, I repeat work to get your own money. Change your entitlement mentality.

wendypenny:
Good morning house. Please advice me. OK so, this Christmas my husband didn't give me a dime, not one naira, he went shopping for groceries by himself and kept at home, on the 14th I told him I needed to make my hair, he said he will give me the money the next day, I waited and finally made my hair myself. I can't remember the year I got a gift from him, we have four kids, the annoying part of it is he didn't buy a piece of cloth for the kids, I begged him to at least take them out but he refused. He sent money to people to look good, thing is I know where he keeps his money but I can't dare touch it, I lost it yesterday and told him if he didn't have I will understand but he is just showing me wickedness. I told him I was tired of the marriage I am stressing too much, everything I own I got them myself. Its like I am just a baby making machine and house help / cook. All my clothes are bad, old yet he is not bothered.

Who pays the school fees, rent, food, cloths the kids, utilities, repairs etc.

Do you earn?

Tocynone:
BTW, who pays the house rent, school fees, food stuffs? You or hubby

I would like to know too

People asking who pays the bills, what are you getting at? Is a man not supposed to take care of his family? He clearly has and has refused to do anything for them. No excuse for being irresponsible please.

OP, look for a job, no matter how little. Accept your lot that your are married to a stingy man. Don't get pregnant again, if you have family that can raise money for you to start a business, talk to them. Again, get a job or start a business and make yourself happy.

SBL28:
People asking who pays the bills, what are you getting at? Is a man not supposed to take care of his family? He clearly has and has refused to do anything for them. No excuse for being irresponsible please

OP, look for a job, no matter how little. Accept your lot that your are married to a stingy man. Don't get pregnant again, if you have family that can raise money for you to start a business, talk to them. Again, get a job or start a business and make yourself happy.

This is untrue Ms
If he takes care of the home alone all through , he might become resentful and “nonfestive” and won’t have the enthusiasm to buy stuff for his family. He would start penny (kobo) pinching and I get it. Not everyone is a saint, some are just only human
And no, they must not buy anything for their kids, they must not take them out, especially if money is tight


I could be wrong here-but I know some psychology and I don’t “buy” the OP
Sorry!

This woman is quite funny in a pathetic way.